Someone suggested that I should write some bad poetry, and guess what! I already have! (You can read it here.) Then I found this nifty little website that will analyze your writing and tell you who you write like... so I had my poetry analyzed... This is what it said:
Stephen King?? Yowsers! I don't even know what to think!! I wonder who I write like when I'm talking about having a not cool not fun life... hmmm... let me see... it's analysing... analysing...
David Foster Wallace
Oh hey! It says, David Foster Wallace.. whoever the heck that is... probably some not cool not fun guy. Alright, so, when I'm on a rant, (like maybe this one here) who do I write like?
James Joyce? Ok, I can dig it. That's kind of cool! Oops! Am I doing something cool??? I wonder who I write like when I think I'm actually writing fiction, for example, this story here...
OH WOW, Ursula LeGuin? Maybe I am pretty cool after all!
Ok... that was so much fun that I'm going to have to go sit in my dirty bathtub with all 5 of my cats, 2 of which are in heat, and I'm going to drink a half a warm beer, and think about how much fun it will be to get up in the morning after having had like... I dunno... 4 hours of sleep... and go to a funeral in a vehicle with no air conditioning on a day when it's going to be 95 degrees with 80% humidity. That'll put a surefire stop to all this fun coolness, don't you think?
Oh and by they way: If you've stumbled onto this post like, days or weeks or even months after I wrote it, you might want to read my rules for living a not cool not fun life so you'll know what I'm talking about. It's very... um... David Foster Wallace-ish!