tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55452530746169762032024-03-13T00:47:01.336-04:00Shirley TwoFeathersWhat the heck is that woman going to talk about next? And yeah, I know the page loads slow. So what? I've got widgets! And they're cool! And it's worth the wait! So take a chill pill!Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.comBlogger799125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-8556840048780120672015-03-01T11:51:00.001-05:002023-06-18T09:07:01.481-04:00The Code of the Sith<img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0r6oa29MhWw/VO9PAvnps8I/AAAAAAAAWmI/DfF3n58OE3A/s1600/Order_of_the_Sith_Lord-_BoS.jpg" /><br />
There is no peace, there is anger.<br />
There is no fear, there is power.<br />
There is no death, there is immortality.<br />
There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side.<br />
<br />
I am the Heart of Darkness.<br />
I know no fear,<br />
But rather I instill it in my enemies.<br />
I am the destroyer of worlds.<br />
I know the power of the Dark Side.<br />
I am the fire of hate. <br />
<br />
All the Universe bows before me.<br />
I pledge myself to the Darkness.<br />
For I have found true life,<br />
In the death of the light. <br />
<br />
-Version 2 of The Sith Code-<br />
<br />
Peace is a lie<br />
There is only passion<br />
Through passion I gain strength<br />
Through strength I gain power<br />
Through power I gain victory<br />
Through victory my chains are broken<br />
The Force shall set me free
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So, I was going through the posts here on ShirleyTwofeathers, looking at everything that was still in draft form. Doing a little housekeeping, and I found this video. It's way out dated - but fun nevertheless, so I'm posting it today just in case someone finds it as entertaining as I did:</div>
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Unofficial Music Video for "John The Revelator" performed by "Depeche Mode"</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zZeRwuN68VQ" width="560"></iframe> </div>
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Here's a link to the video on YouTube</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZeRwuN68VQ">"John The Revelator" performed by "Depeche Mode"</a></div>
Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-50352486148153815592015-02-25T09:57:00.001-05:002023-06-18T09:13:20.414-04:00Truth and The Devil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wytf3aYBStY/VO3iRJG-2FI/AAAAAAAAWlw/2uiOSZKXw7Y/s1600/hfd._14_-_lucifer.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wytf3aYBStY/VO3iRJG-2FI/AAAAAAAAWlw/2uiOSZKXw7Y/s1600/hfd._14_-_lucifer.jpg" width="280" /></a></div>
<em><br /></em>
<em>You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, "What did that man pick up?" "He picked up a piece of Truth," said the devil. "That is a very bad business for you, then," said his friend. "Oh, not at all," the devil replied, "I am going to let him organize it."</em><br />
<br />
<em>~Krishnamurti</em><div><em><br /></em></div><div>More fun and interesting quotes can be found on my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/quotes-i-love/">Hey It's Me</a></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-57133245355558698692015-02-24T16:55:00.000-05:002018-11-26T16:08:24.379-05:00Cobra Verde Quotes I LoveIt was he who was<br />
the alonest<br />
of the alone.<br />
<i> ~old storyteller</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EBXNx_6eZ3s/VOzyK9SlHQI/AAAAAAAAWlg/SHV3zeR6H8c/s1600/f13.jpg" /><br />
<br />
Eleven years of drought,<br />
the rocks are sick.<br />
The world is dying.<br />
Evil is a trick.<br />
<i> ~introduction, opening credits</i><br />
<br />
I will die now.<br />
Be quiet,<br />
or the bench will crack from sadness.<br />
<i> ~Francisco's mother</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
... I am so sorry, but the rest of these amazing quotes have been moved to my new website <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/">shirleytwofeathers.com</a>. All of them can be found on <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/cobra-verde-quotes-i-love/">Hey It's Me</a> and also (individually listed and nicely illustrated) on <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/waycoolquotes/Authors/cobra-verde/">Way Cool Quotes</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EIDjiXDHXoE/VOyFDcu6gzI/AAAAAAAAWk8/ksg6QcLn4DY/s1600/cobra%2Bverde.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EIDjiXDHXoE/VOyFDcu6gzI/AAAAAAAAWk8/ksg6QcLn4DY/s400/cobra%2Bverde.jpg" /></a></div>
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The story of my life aka</div>
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Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski as Cobra Verde</div>
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Amazingly accurate!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1YIAccW4Aww/VOyFTVDgKLI/AAAAAAAAWlE/IfUD2Puv5yI/s1600/deathcobra.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1YIAccW4Aww/VOyFTVDgKLI/AAAAAAAAWlE/IfUD2Puv5yI/s400/deathcobra.png" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DWaxX252hlw/VOyJDgi3KKI/AAAAAAAAWlQ/jz6sQ586SW4/s1600/cv-35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DWaxX252hlw/VOyJDgi3KKI/AAAAAAAAWlQ/jz6sQ586SW4/s400/cv-35.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">I was going to write a bunch of stuff about this, but I think the movie clip needs no explanation, no introduction, and nothing more. I am curious, however, to know if this is true for others as well. If it's true for you too, it means I am not alone and neither are you. </span></div>
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Videos on YouTube come and go, </div>
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but for now here is that awesome final scene.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AdOmH1SgZsc" width="420"></iframe>
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<br /></div>
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Or go directly to YouTube and see it there: </div>
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<a href="http://youtu.be/AdOmH1SgZsc">Cobra Verde (1987) Ending</a></div>
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<br /></div>
Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-53682566121699137742015-02-21T15:15:00.000-05:002015-02-21T15:15:03.003-05:00Finding My Inner Buddha<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Found this quote on Facebook today. And when I first read it, the thought appealed to me. I mean, who wouldn't rather be the lion in the story, right? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vrlg_fTkxEA/VOjVU__ZWjI/AAAAAAAAWkU/HXoDmaE2H1Y/s1600/10991290_10153051693983279_3527713127788334342_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vrlg_fTkxEA/VOjVU__ZWjI/AAAAAAAAWkU/HXoDmaE2H1Y/s1600/10991290_10153051693983279_3527713127788334342_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Buddhism, mindfulness, all that stuff appeals to me quite a bit. But I'm never able to actually embrace the whole of it because when I look too closely at the teachings, <a href="http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/60songs.pdf" target="">the writings of Milarepa</a>, for example, I see rules, judgment, and dogma. Right away, I'm wanting to break the rules, and poke at the status quo.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Yes, I agree that we all take life on earth way too seriously, and I love the idea that it's all a grand illusion, that we are merely actors on a stage, taking on different roles. Sure, I can go there. I actually believe it. But hey, if I'm going to be an actor in this bone chilling, skin wrenching, heart clenching, mind blowing show called ShirleyTwofeathers, I want to be in it all the way. I want to feel it, to taste it, and grab onto it just as desperately and determinedly as I am to avoid it completely. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">I guess that's why hiding in a cave in the Himalayas, owning nothing, responsible for nothing, doing nothing, being nothing, eyes fixed and vacant, totally detached from everything and everyone, sounds so appealing to me. Enlightenment, yogi style, is the ultimate escape from living my real life.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">But that's not what I came here to do. That's not who I want to be. And it's not who I am right now. And so I give up my dream of being an enlightened and scary lion. I will</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> continue chasing the sticks my mind throws... and running around crazy with them... chewing them... shredding them all over the carpet... then asking for one more time... one more time... one more time... until finally and at last I fall asleep, stick still in my mouth, smelling like wet dog and dead wood.</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"></span>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-75199768511062086192015-02-20T11:12:00.002-05:002015-02-20T11:12:32.998-05:00Turning Junk Into ArtMy retarded blog post about "<a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com/2015/02/gag-me-with-fork.html">Gag Me With A Fork</a>" led me to this really cool art page... <a href="http://www.inspirationgreen.com/federico-uribe.html">Inspiration Green - check it out</a>... Deeply reinforces what a loser I am since I'm sitting here mindlessly blogging about nothing when I could be making art with the junk that surrounds me.<br />
<br />
I love this one because it looks so easy to reproduce and play around with. It's made out of garden hoses and faucet handles:<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6c-xE5tuddw/VOdYeKTuYPI/AAAAAAAAWj4/lsPbrN7F3rY/s1600/hose%2Bart.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6c-xE5tuddw/VOdYeKTuYPI/AAAAAAAAWj4/lsPbrN7F3rY/s1600/hose%2Bart.JPG" height="640" width="476" /></a></div>
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I love this next one because it looks so impossible:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cgkc59RLf3M/VOdbKwJzYeI/AAAAAAAAWkE/wTL6uMMzjwc/s1600/IMG_07921.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cgkc59RLf3M/VOdbKwJzYeI/AAAAAAAAWkE/wTL6uMMzjwc/s1600/IMG_07921.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Art by <a href="http://www.sayakaganz.com/2013/01/light/">Sayaka Ganz</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So now I think I might to head into my "hoarder room" (fondly remembered as my "art room") and see if I can make some sense of it, maybe hack out some space to work on some art this weekend. I hope that's what I do...<br />
<br />Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-41271082435674690562015-02-20T10:35:00.003-05:002015-02-20T11:14:16.381-05:00Gag Me With A Fork<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hpj22t7jUjM/VOdQMDWakPI/AAAAAAAAWjU/Fh00rFJ2rj0/s1600/il_fullxfull.309804865.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hpj22t7jUjM/VOdQMDWakPI/AAAAAAAAWjU/Fh00rFJ2rj0/s1600/il_fullxfull.309804865.jpg" height="320" width="195" /></a></div>
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I love the title to this blog post!</div>
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And I can't think of anything to go with it...</div>
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:-(</div>
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<br /></div>
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I trolled Facebook looking for something that would qualify...</div>
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Nothing</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nada</div>
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Zilch</div>
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<br /></div>
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I watched the news</div>
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I stared mindlessly at the seemingly endless flow of </div>
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mind numbing soul sucking buy me buy now </div>
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advertising on network television.</div>
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Came up empty.</div>
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I googled it</div>
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Found a deleted You Tube video</div>
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Dictionary definitions - Boring!!</div>
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A number of twitter comments - Even More Boring!!</div>
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A strange foodie post at Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit</div>
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<a href="http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2009/09/gag-me-with-fork.html">Gag Me With A Fork</a></div>
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And this picture</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0-ztMlQGprY/VOdLuPlSChI/AAAAAAAAWjE/WQNqzReoZLs/s1600/robot%2Bcyborg%2Bsusan%2Bb%2Banthony%2Bcorrections.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0-ztMlQGprY/VOdLuPlSChI/AAAAAAAAWjE/WQNqzReoZLs/s1600/robot%2Bcyborg%2Bsusan%2Bb%2Banthony%2Bcorrections.jpg" height="320" width="241" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
So then I thought it might be a good idea to look inside and see if there is anything personal I'd like to say about things that annoy me to the point of "Gag Me With A Fork" </div>
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Everything I came up with was too stupid to write about... </div>
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I kept gagging and deleting..</div>
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So..</div>
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<br /></div>
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I guess at some point a person has to give up<br />
So this is me giving up on the idea of a clever "gag me with a fork blog post"<br />
and sharing a picture by someone else about someone else instead.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uB6PfuDBt_U/VOdR__X_1hI/AAAAAAAAWjo/liCWo2PySSA/s1600/41709-RBLOG-FORK-MOVE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uB6PfuDBt_U/VOdR__X_1hI/AAAAAAAAWjo/liCWo2PySSA/s1600/41709-RBLOG-FORK-MOVE.jpg" height="301" width="400" /></a></div>
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Ok... I can't resist.</div>
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More forks..</div>
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Actually a lot of them:</div>
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Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-83102715523103670192015-02-18T13:54:00.000-05:002015-02-18T13:54:18.373-05:00It's Been A Long TimeWow! It's been a long time since I blogged about anything, and even longer since I blogged something that wasn't self serving, or found somewhere else, but was - instead - deeply personal and intimate. I've been too busy wallowing in the mire of self pity, self doubt, regret, angst and guilt. I totally hate getting older and older and still not feeling like I have actually lived up to even my mildest aspirations.<br />
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<br />
What I have been doing is hiding out, becoming more and more reclusive, avoiding the internet entirely, reducing my circle of friends to the few who dare to push their way in (meaning nobody), hanging tight with my family, doing the barest of minimums every day, and burying myself in the Sims 2. Creating elaborate neighborhoods and scenarios, and pretty much losing myself in the fantasy of a game where I can always get what I want, where lifetime happiness can always be achieved, and friends and family can be found and created with only a little bit of effort.<br />
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I was starting to feel as if I was dying a slow death of lethargy and immobility. Actually, it was more like I had already died inside and was just waiting for my circumstances and my body to catch up with me. The walking dead... that was/is me. Shambling through the shambles of a life I have allowed to fall down around me. <br />
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Sometimes, the numbness would give way to a sort of nameless anxiety, that "Oh God!" feeling of having forgotten something really really important. And sometimes I would have glimpses of ... I would almost feel something ... like grief, a desperate sorrow, a heart clenching longing for ... I don't know what. Home maybe? That comes closest to describing it... something sure to hold on to, fall into, belong to, be enfolded in... And that, of course, was very uncomfortable and immediately sedated with food, television, the Sims, whatever was immediately available.<br />
<br />
So what happened? And why am I here, blogging it?<br />
<br />
Well, it was interesting (at least to me), because everything I know about life I've learned from playing The Sims, and in the game it was becoming more and more apparent that in order to get along in life, in order to achieve lifetime happiness, it is extremely helpful to have people. And I started trying to figure out how to have people in my real life without actually having to go anywhere or do anything. Which is partly what social media is all about. You can have a bunch of "friends" and never have to interact with them at all. I know this is true because I have 520 facebook friends, and not including my family, I actually know less than 20 of them, and maybe only 1 or 2 of them have my actual phone number.<br />
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At the same time, I realized that much of my lethargy and angst is fueled by regret. All the things that I did that I wish I hadn't done, all the things I didn't do that I wish I had done, so much that I could'a - should'a - would'a ... if only... and I really didn't know what to do with all that. So because everything else I know about life I've learned from books, movies, and television, I thought I'd take a page from the Debra Morgan book of coping with the un-cope-able, and do some time on the treadmill. Remember Deb from Dexter running and running on the treadmill, working it out that way? Well, running is beyond my capabilities at this point, but I figured I could at least do some walking. And I have to tell you... it turned into yet another form of self torture. I tried just walking slow, I tried walking fast, I tried walking and watching television, I tried rewarding myself for walking, I tried listening to music and walking - which worked best, by the way - and ultimately the music was what saved me. But not yet...<br />
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It occurred to me that maybe what I needed was religion, a spiritual experience that could be revisited, something that would give me absolution, and comfort, and a reason to get up every morning and carry on.... Something larger than my baggage, my bullshit, my perennial self doubt... So I talked to my angels, and I talked to my guides... all the while convinced that they were disappointed and disgusted by my failure to make something special and interesting with my life, and had left me long ago in search of someone better, someone more authentic and real.<br />
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I looked up churches in the yellow pages, I contemplated becoming a Catholic. "Forgive me father for I have sinned" sounded very appealing to me. Plus, there would be - you know - actual people there. But in the end, you have to believe in that stuff for it to work, and while I am a believer in some things, I am not a believer in the conventional sense, and mainstream religions with their rules and dogma do not appeal to me, I have never been a rule follower, or a believer in dogma. I am an asker of questions, a skeptic, a rebel, and a rule breaker... there's no church that I could find where I thought there was even the remotest chance of fitting in or finding what I was looking for.<br />
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Then, suddenly, surprisingly, my angels and guides came through for me and gave me... a church to go to, someone to listen to, something to cling to, and no - not comfort, not absolution, but something real that (right now anyway) resonates so deeply it has brought me out of my lethargy, and back to the world of maybe not the living, but certainly the not quite dead.<br />
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So what was it? This is the strangest life I've known... because when I asked for Church, when I asked for spiritual guidance, when I asked for something that would give me back my connection to life, I got The Doors and Jim Morrison. And I'm like... really? And yet from the moment I played that CD I have felt more alive, more understood, more real, more OK with the mess I have made with my life, than I have in years. So, of course (since I never do anything half way) I got the movie, and every DVD I could get my hands on... all the CD's... the books...<br />
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And here I am online again, looking to connect with the larger world. Morrison's voice resonating in my head, unable to just sit and mindlessly play the Sims, thinking that maybe, just maybe it might be possible to break on through to the other side.Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-74138111953595157442013-11-26T23:48:00.001-05:002013-11-26T23:50:08.243-05:00Some Not Very Interesting News<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xabhS9jX-sI/UpV5bNph-qI/AAAAAAAAWbA/cZbQf8R2fXk/s1600/hd-wallpapers-puppy-wallpaper-cute-dogs-1024x768-wallpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xabhS9jX-sI/UpV5bNph-qI/AAAAAAAAWbA/cZbQf8R2fXk/s200/hd-wallpapers-puppy-wallpaper-cute-dogs-1024x768-wallpaper.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Well, I'm pretty sure that by now everyone I know is pretty tired of hearing about the website, so that's why the title of this post is "Not Very Interesting News." But, I have been working my ass off and I have to have some place to post updates of what's new... so here it is.<br /><br />My friend Daniel and I were talking about meditation, and I was kind of psyched about all the Transcendental Meditation content I had uploaded earlier, so I got to work and made the <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Meditation.html">Meditation landing page</a>. I totally love how it looks. The ads need some tweaking so they aren't so... well... obnoxious... but other than that I really like it. I also put up some meditation content:<br /><ul>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Simple_Instruction.html">Simple Instructions For Meditation</a></li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Instant_Mantras.html">Instant Mantras</a></li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Repair_and_Restoration.html">Meditation for Repair and Restoration</a></li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Om_Namah_Shivaya.html">Om Namah Shivaya</a></li>
</ul>
Then I posted two more <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Sufi_Stories.html">Sufi Stories</a>.<br /><ul>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Sufi_Stories_2.html">A Sufi Dandelion Story</a> (this one was originally posted here)</li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Sufi_Stories_2.html#Seeker and Sufi">The Seeker and the Sufi</a></li>
</ul>
I also added two new pages (A story called "<a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/IR_winter_1986_3.html">Socks</a>", and <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/IR_winter_1986_4.html">4 new poems</a>) to the <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Independent_Review_1986.html">Independent</a> <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Independent_Review_1986.html">Review Winter 1986</a> issue. I figure if I do one or two pages at a time, it'll eventually be completely finished and I can move on to the Spring 1987 Issue, and at some point all the issues will be online and I'll be done with that.<br /><br />Then I got excited about creating the <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Dog_Training.html">Dog Training Pages</a> which I think looks awesome. I also uploaded a few pages of stuff including:<br /><ul>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/About_Me.html">About Me</a> (I actually look pretty good on paper)</li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Obedience_Questionaire.html">Four Reasons to Obedience Train Your Dog</a> (Cute... at least I thought so)</li>
<li><a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Getting_Started_with_Training.html">Getting Started With Dog Training</a></li>
</ul>
So, there you have it. The story of my weekend...Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-76862554607204843272013-11-25T21:00:00.000-05:002013-11-25T21:00:02.905-05:00A Drop In The BucketOk... so one of the things I didn't expect when I decided to create a mega website with a boatload of information on it was that uploading a bunch of stuff would be so decidedly underwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy creating websites and sharing all the stuff I find cool and interesting.... It's just that when a website is so ... well ... mega ... a "bunch" of posts or pages are like a tiny drop in the bucket and almost not even noticeable.<br />
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For example: I spent all day yesterday working on transcribing the notes I took during a course called The Science of Creative Intelligence. I managed to get about 8 classes transcribed, plus an article about Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and five... yes five !! pages of Maharishi Quotes. If I would have uploaded all that stuff here, or on one of my other blogs, my readers would be praying for mercy! But on my mega site... it was like nothing happened.<br />
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So... anyway... that's all I have to say about that right now. Here are links to the pages I uploaded. Enjoy!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IEHdxV6mAsY/UpPDKgwXhJI/AAAAAAAAWaw/fb0qgc8SjJ4/s1600/article-2061001-0EC80BA800000578-8_468x691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IEHdxV6mAsY/UpPDKgwXhJI/AAAAAAAAWaw/fb0qgc8SjJ4/s320/article-2061001-0EC80BA800000578-8_468x691.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
<a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Science_Of_Creative_Intelligence.html">Science of Creative Intelligence</a><br />
<a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/About_Maharishi.html">About Maharishi</a><br />
<a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/Maharishi_Quotes.html">Maharishi Mahesh Yogi Quotes</a>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-59704232602224914222013-11-25T14:21:00.001-05:002013-11-25T14:21:39.051-05:00My Latest and Greatest IdeaIt's been a really long time since I put anything new up here at shirleytwofeathers the blog. But that's about to change. I have been working really hard on a static website for all my cool shit. Well, actually it's going to be a mega (and hopefully awesomely cool) website by the time I get everything uploaded.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ulKxLocrMxg/UpOh8zxIqAI/AAAAAAAAWag/o0SHcw7C1IU/s1600/Home+page+banner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="61" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ulKxLocrMxg/UpOh8zxIqAI/AAAAAAAAWag/o0SHcw7C1IU/s400/Home+page+banner.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The idea was to put all my eggs in one basket - consolidate all my blogs and cool stuff on one static website that is owned by me. A place where I can put whatever I want, wherever I want, and nobody can give me too much grief about it. Images will be hosted on the site itself, so I won't have that annoying problem of hosting images on websites and then suddenly they're gone because I wasn't paying attention... or paying money... or whatever..<br />
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So what will happen with my blogs? This little blog is going to be the news feed for the website. I'll be posting information and links to the new content on the website. This is because I am not all that good with html and code and etc, and I couldn't figure out how to have a dynamic news feed on the site. It's also because I hate to let go of anything, and this gives me a really good reason to hang on to this blog.<br />
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Gradually, I will be moving all the cool stuff that I've posted here, and putting it on the new site. This is going to take a while - I have so much to upload from all my other blogs. But don't worry, I'll be letting you know when something moves from here to there.<br />
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Oh, and the name of the site? Well, it's <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/">shirleytwofeathers.com</a>... what else would it be? My plan is for it to be your online resource for all things magickal, mystical, spiritual, inspirational, radical, ridiculous, and cool... So, go check it out and let me know what you think. Comments of any kind are appreciated.Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-76243742107428448772012-03-18T13:34:00.000-04:002012-03-18T13:34:13.975-04:00Not Paying AttentionSo here's what happens when you don't pay attention. Websites go away. I mean, seriously? How did I miss this? And now I'm just... well... grrr aarrggghhh... Do you know how many pictures I hosted at slide? That I now have to go find and repost because they look like this?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.slide.com/s/82t_I01g7z8V8d4AGTTc_eWA6LMl52N5?referrer=hlnk" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="382" src="http://www.slide.com/s/82t_I01g7z8V8d4AGTTc_eWA6LMl52N5?referrer=hlnk" width="400" /></a></div><br />
And I'd be really aggravated at them if it wasn't for this... which I probably got an email about and didn't read... so there you have it! My lesson for the day. Pay attention.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DapulTQiovs/T2YYyTXhKWI/AAAAAAAAPeg/BNkD6SQKsB8/s1600/slide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="382" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DapulTQiovs/T2YYyTXhKWI/AAAAAAAAPeg/BNkD6SQKsB8/s400/slide.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-39783223913137432142012-03-18T12:44:00.000-04:002019-02-15T17:39:39.378-05:00Thinking About Osho<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wx5ZZKqJ7kY/T2YNU7-60oI/AAAAAAAAPeI/Mk1jqoSwTos/s1600/51WHKNRJYEL__SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wx5ZZKqJ7kY/T2YNU7-60oI/AAAAAAAAPeI/Mk1jqoSwTos/s200/51WHKNRJYEL__SL500_AA300_.jpg" width="152" /></a></div>
So, I've been thinking about that <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312117337/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=theprosproj-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0312117337">Osho Zen Tarot</a><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=theprosproj-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0312117337" height="1" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px;" width="1"> reading I got yesterday on the situation with my mother. Haven't really done more than think about it.... And when I say think about it, the truth is that I haven't been thinking about what the reading actually said. No. I've been simply thinking about the reading in a more general way... like... well... <em>"Wow... that was great..."</em> and <em>"Osho was really spot on..."</em> That kind of thing....<br />
<br />
... I am so sorry, but this post has been moved to my new website, <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/">Hey It's Me</a>, hosted at <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.com/">shirleytwofeathers.com</a>, and can be found in its entirety here: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/thinking-about-osho/">Thinking About Osho</a>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-5702362535143420512012-03-17T15:08:00.002-04:002012-03-18T12:48:34.989-04:00The Osho FixSo I got to wondering what the <a href="http://www.osho.com/Main.cfm?Area=Magazine&Sub1Menu=Tarot&Sub2Menu=OshoZenTarot&Language=English">Osho Zen Tarot</a> would say about the <a href="http://shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com/2012/03/talking-to-my-mother.html">situation with my mother</a> and what (if anything) could be done about it... (And if you didn't read that post, this might not make any sense.) I did a one card reading first, looking for a simple answer, and here it is:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ye5kZjzYTMA/T2TdWZRfHgI/AAAAAAAAPdQ/NWCc8DRued4/s1600/05totality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ye5kZjzYTMA/T2TdWZRfHgI/AAAAAAAAPdQ/NWCc8DRued4/s200/05totality.jpg" width="134" /></a></div><em>Every moment there is a possibility to be total. Whatsoever you are doing, be absorbed in it so utterly that the mind thinks nothing, is just there, is just a presence. And more and more totality will be coming. And the taste of totality will make you more and more capable of being total. And try to see when you are not total. Those are the moments which have to be dropped slowly, slowly. When you are not total, whenever you are in the head--thinking, brooding, calculating, cunning, clever--you are not total. Slowly, slowly slip out of those moments. It is just an old habit. Habits die hard. But they die certainly--if one persists, they die.</em> <br />
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And I'm sure that if I were to be totally total... whenever I'm in the moment with my mother. Letting go of the resistance, the expectations, the disappointments, the need to be heard, the desire to fix... that would be big... but can I do it? Maybe.... over time.... I dunno...<br />
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So, because that was so helpful, I went ahead and did a relationship spread. It was actually pretty good. <br />
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<strong>Imagining yourself, click the backside of the first card to display the first card.</strong> This is about You and what you are contributing to the relating here/now. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AMLIIGD8OjI/T2TdhzIenBI/AAAAAAAAPdY/7Grlf5pHnVA/s1600/Osho-Zen-Tarot-Fighting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AMLIIGD8OjI/T2TdhzIenBI/AAAAAAAAPdY/7Grlf5pHnVA/s1600/Osho-Zen-Tarot-Fighting.jpg" /></a></div><em>One moment it was there, another moment it is gone. One moment we are here, and another moment we have gone. And for this simple moment, how much fuss we make! How much violence, ambition, struggle, conflict, anger, hatred, just for this small moment! Just waiting for the train in a waiting room on a station, and creating so much fuss: fighting, hurting each other, trying to possess, trying to boss, trying to dominate - all that politics. And then the train comes and you are gone forever.</em><br />
<br />
Commentary: <br />
<br />
The figure in this card is completely covered in armor. Only his glare of rage is visible, and the whites of the knuckles on his clenched fists. If you look closely at the armor, you can see it's covered with buttons, ready to detonate if anybody so much as brushes up against them. In the background we see the shadowy movie that plays in this man's mind - two figures fighting for a castle. <br />
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An explosive temper or a smoldering rage often masks a deep feeling of pain. We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more. In fact, just the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armor we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need. <br />
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If this description seems to fit you, it's time to stop fighting. There is so much love available to you if you just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself: you're worth it.<br />
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<strong>Imagining the other, click the backside of the second card to display the second card.</strong> This represents the other's input to the relationship or situation.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Tiu5n5CP_g/T2TdwB1L86I/AAAAAAAAPdg/l7gcPlbQTDk/s1600/Aloneness2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Tiu5n5CP_g/T2TdwB1L86I/AAAAAAAAPdg/l7gcPlbQTDk/s200/Aloneness2.png" width="137" /></a></div><em>When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. </em><br />
<em><br />
</em><br />
<em>Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other were there - your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other were there, but the other is not. Loneliness is absence of the other. </em><br />
<em><br />
</em><br />
<em>Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.</em><br />
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Commentary: <br />
<br />
When there is no "significant other" in our lives we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues. <br />
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If you are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view your "aloneness" and take responsibility for the choice you have made. <br />
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The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. One of Gautam Buddha's most significant contributions to the spiritual life of humankind was to insist to his disciples, "Be a light unto yourself." Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.<br />
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<strong>Click the backside of the third card to display the third card.</strong> This represents the composite energies, the two of you together.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IFL-M1XPjZQ/T2TeVBGwtdI/AAAAAAAAPdw/tJR_1jUIx2A/s1600/twoofswords-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IFL-M1XPjZQ/T2TeVBGwtdI/AAAAAAAAPdw/tJR_1jUIx2A/s200/twoofswords-2.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><em>Man is split. Schizophrenia is a normal condition of man--at least now. It may not have been so in the primitive world, but centuries of conditioning, civilization, culture and religion have made man a crowd--divided, split, contradictory.... But because this split is against his nature, deep down somewhere hidden the unity still survives. Because the soul of man is one, all the conditionings at the most destroy the periphery of the man. But the center remains untouched--that's how man continues to live. But his life has become a hell. </em><br />
<em><br />
</em><br />
<em>The whole effort of Zen is how to drop this schizophrenia, how to drop this split personality, how to drop the divided mind of man, how to become undivided, integrated, centered, crystallized. The way you are, you cannot say that you are. You don't have a being. You are a marketplace--many voices. If you want to say 'yes', immediately the 'no' is there. You cannot even utter a simple word 'yes' with totality.... In this way happiness is not possible; unhappiness is a natural consequence of a split personality.</em><br />
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Commentary: <br />
<br />
The person on this card brings a new twist to the old idea of "getting stuck between a rock and a hard place"! But we are in precisely this sort of situation when we get stuck in the indecisive and dualistic aspect of the mind. Should I let my arms go and fall head-first, or let my legs go and fall feet-first? Should I go here or there? Should I say yes or no? And whatever decision we make, we will always wonder if we should have decided the other way. The only way out of this dilemma is, unfortunately, to let go of both at once. You can't work your way out of this one by solving it, making lists of pros and cons, or in any way working it out with your mind. Better to follow your heart, if you can find it. If you can't find it, just jump--your heart will start beating so fast there will be no mistake about where it is!<br />
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<strong>Click the backside of the fourth card to display the fourth card.</strong> This represents The Insight. And in my case, gives me a positive "to do" task.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zM1eMkbvlgg/T2TfyywwfuI/AAAAAAAAPeA/eNc7bIK0ZVc/s1600/imagesCAR665Q6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zM1eMkbvlgg/T2TfyywwfuI/AAAAAAAAPeA/eNc7bIK0ZVc/s200/imagesCAR665Q6.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><em>In Sanskrit the name is</em> alaya vigyan<em>, the house where you go on throwing into the basement things that you want to do but you cannot, because of social conditions, culture, civilization. But they go on collecting there, and they affect your actions, your life, very indirectly. Directly, they cannot face you--you have forced them into darkness, but from the dark side they go on influencing your behavior. They are dangerous, it is dangerous to keep all those inhibitions inside you. It is possible that these are the things that come to a climax when a person goes insane. Insanity is nothing but all these suppressions coming to a point where you cannot control them anymore. But madness is acceptable, while meditation is not--and meditation is the only way to make you absolutely sane.</em> <br />
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Commentary: <br />
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The figure on this card is quite literally "all tied up in knots". His light still shines within, but he has repressed his own vitality trying to meet so many demands and expectations. He has given up all his own power and vision in return for being accepted by the very same forces that have imprisoned him. The danger of suppressing one's natural energy in this way is apparent in the cracks of a volcanic eruption about to take place around the edges of the image. The real message of the card is to find a healing outlet for this potential explosion. It is essential to find a way to release whatever tensions and stresses might be building up inside you right now. Beat on a pillow, jump up and down, go out into the wilderness and scream at the empty sky--anything to shake up your energy and allow it to circulate freely. Don't wait for a catastrophe to happen.<br />
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Wow!<br />
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It's always amazing to me when an online java scripting program manages to come up with such an intuitive grasp of a situation. Either that... or I am an extremely powerful person who can manipulate tarot cards even when they aren't actually real but merely a digital representation thereof...Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-37525723519145749782012-03-17T13:18:00.000-04:002012-03-17T13:18:47.366-04:00Talking To My Mother<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lv5plS8STrg/T2TFD0ZYpvI/AAAAAAAAPdI/1wlq6N77l0I/s1600/mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lv5plS8STrg/T2TFD0ZYpvI/AAAAAAAAPdI/1wlq6N77l0I/s320/mom.jpg" width="190" /></a></div>Woke up this morning wishing for stuff that probably will never happen. And, actually, I went to bed and tossed and turned all night wishing for that same stuff... trying to figure out what, if anything, I could do to make it so... For example:<br />
<br />
<strong><em>I wish my mother would stop being crazy and start acting "normal."</em></strong> <br />
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How's that for a wish list topper? I bet it's on a lot of wish lists... So, my mother had open heart surgery, and came home crazy. Ok. That's not entirely true. Before the surgery, the passive aggressive controlling behavior and all that goes with it was definitely there. She was just a lot better at hiding it. And she didn't become crazy after she went home from the hospital... she was pretty crazy in the hospital too. And the most annoying part of the whole thing is that it cannot be described... I mean... I could tell you stories... and you'd just think I was a bitch and a bad daughter. (Which I probably am.) And you'd make excuses for her because, well, <em>"she's old..."</em> (Which she actually is.) And I just wish I could have a talk with her - a real conversation... where I say what I really think and she says what she really thinks... but she absolutely will not allow it - and it occured to me this morning that I haven't had a real conversation with my mother since... well... I can't even remember... probably back when I was 5 years old right before she sent me away to boarding school... maybe not even then... <br />
<br />
So... rather than get all frustrated about it, I'm here this morning to say all those things. And since I can't say them to her, I'm going to say them to the world wide web! Here goes:<br />
<ol><li>So, why are you so angry?</li>
<li>Are you mad at me because I won't come down and move in with you and take care of you?</li>
<li>Don't you realize that you are impossible to take care of?</li>
<li>That nobody can do anything right? Even when (and especially because) you're right there micro-managing every little detail?</li>
<li>That when I'm around you for more than 2 hours I start to feel strangled and my soul starts to die? </li>
<li>And maybe that's because you don't see me? or hear me? And yet you expect me to not only see you and hear you but read your mind as well?</li>
<li>Do you have any idea how tiring that is? To have to read the nuances of every minute facial expression and be expected to guess what it is that's going on in your mind? And then based on that guess, say and./or do the exact right thing in the exact right way? </li>
<li>Isn't this why I ran away from home? Why I live thousands of miles away? And why I don't invite you to come and live with me?</li>
<li>Or maybe you are just angry at me because I keep trying to make you acknowledge and do something about your anxiety and your depression.</li>
<li>Maybe you aren't angry at me at all... maybe you're mad at Daddy for dying and leaving you all alone.</li>
<li>Do you realize that your anxiety started when he died?</li>
<li>And is that because now you have to actually live with yourself? You don't have the lovely distraction of someone else to fret and fuss over?</li>
<li>It must be hard for you now that you can't use Daddy as an excuse to get what you want. </li>
<li>That's one of the hardest things for you, isn't it... actually coming right out and saying what you want. So much easier to preface it with... "Bill wants... or your daddy needs... or Bill's tired... or etc..."</li>
<li>As a matter of fact, taking care of a crazy cranky old woman isn't nearly as terrible when she's honestly cranky and admittedly crazy. It's all that pretending that gets on everyone's nerves... </li>
<li>Did you know that Gracie hates... absolutely hates being called your "<em>little sweetie</em>"? You should know that because she's told you not to do it a number of times. And yet, when you are mad at her, and pretending not to be, that's what you call her every time! Wouldn't it just be simpler and easier to say "<em>I'm mad at you</em>" ? </li>
<li>And what's up with the dogged persistence when it comes to pounding it into my head that I'm old and used up? We are not "<em>two old widow women</em>" who can hang out together! We not "<em>old cronies</em>." Not now - not ever! </li>
<li>And the next time you tell me that, I'm going to start asking penetrating and uncomfortable questions... and if you suddenly have a bad connection and have to hang up, I'm going to call you back and ask you some more of them! How's that for a great threat?</li>
<li>Or maybe you are angry at God...</li>
<li>Now that's a good one. You've been shoving God and Jesus down my throat ever since I took my first breath - and now? God? Jesus? The bible? Prayer? Haven't heard word one about any of those things since you came home from the hospital.... I think you are angry at God.</li>
<li>What happened? Did he ignore you? Did he not answer your prayers correctly? Did you try to micro-manage God's will... and it didn't work out? What?</li>
<li>How many bibles did you pass out at the hospital? 25? 50? All that fake cheerfulness and bible sharing... and what did it get you? Are you happy? </li>
<li>And is that what all this anxiety is about? You've devoted your whole life to a religion, a book, a belief and now... it isn't working for you anymore?</li>
<li>I think we need to talk about God... I really do... maybe I could tell you what I think about your God... wouldn't that be something? </li>
<li>Are you angry because you didn't die on the operating table like you thought? Was that your plan?</li>
<li>You don't want to live any more and now you have to? Is that what this is all about? </li>
<li>And what's this thing about blaming everyone else for what ails you? You have anxiety and it's not you... it couldn't be you... must be the medication... You don't have any energy and it's not you being depressed... must be the medication... must be something the doctors did or didn't do... couldn't be because you aren't doing anything except focusing on how shitty you feel... </li>
<li>When are you going to step up and take responsibility for how you feel in your heart?</li>
<li>Never?</li>
<li>What if one time, just one time, you actually spoke the truth of what's in your mind and heart.... no matter how uncomfortable, no matter how inappropriate, no matter how "<em>wrong</em>"... How would your life change then?</li>
<li>I keep having this thought - <em>Who are you and where is my real mother? What did you do with her?</em> But actually, your ability to manipulate through passive aggressive behavior is so well honed - you are so extremely good at tapping into whatever it is that will engage the people around you to dance to your tune... you have so much skill... I've got to believe that what we are finally seeing is the <strong>real</strong> you.</li>
<li>I believe that when we are tired and frightened - who we really are comes to the surface.... we don't have the will or the energy to hide it anymore... Add to that mix any kind of physical discomfort- pain, nausea -- and you have a recipe for <strong>Hey Look At Me - This Is Who I Really Am</strong>. And I was really hoping that a beautifully sweet, kind, and loving person was hiding inside you.... BUT NO!</li>
<li>And I'm disappointed... at first I was even surprised.... now I'm just frustrated and disappointed. How dare you not be who I want you to be?</li>
<li>That makes me angry! So I figure it must make you angry that I have never been, nor will I ever be who you want me to be! </li>
<li>I did pretend to be that person, and it seemed to work for a while. But in your heart, you must know that it was just a persona, not the real me... in your heart you must know that I'll never ever be "<em>nice</em>" and that I'll never be content to follow the rules and be a "<em>good girl</em>." </li>
<li>I also want to thank you for showing me just <strong>how</strong> it is that I became who I really am... and why I like who I really am way more than I like who you really are... and absolving me from any guilt I may have been feeling about having no desire whatever to come down and take care of you in your old age.</li>
<li>Interestingly, despite all this, and maybe even because of all this, I do love you. I've known you longer than I've known any other human being. I do think the world is a better place because you were in it. And it's actually quite amazing that you have been able to accomplish so much good in your life all while hiding this terrible secret of who you really are!</li>
<li>And it makes me sad that we will never have this conversation... you won't hear what I really think, and I'm pretty sure you won't ever be able to express how you really feel or what you really think.</li>
<li>And please, mom, would you stop being crazy and start acting normal? Could we just have one real conversation in this lifetime? I can be about anything you want it to be about as long as it's real and not just another mindless chat about the weather. </li>
</ol>So there it is... everything I'd like to say to my mother today. (Tomorrow there might be more.) And what about you? What would you like to say to your mother? <br />
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Oh, and by the way - in that picture, my mother is actually furious with me, but of course not saying so.... and just looking at the picture brings back that whole suffocating feeling... that aura... that energy field that she generates when stuffing all that rage and keeping it hidden under a facade of niceness. And do I feel better now? and less frustrated? Sadly, no.Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-14944194560979811792012-03-06T15:46:00.001-05:002012-03-06T15:46:00.197-05:00Zombie Caterpillars?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cBpqjwIsp1U/T1UOlPk0W8I/AAAAAAAAPc4/4GuzTVkPyGU/s1600/Glyptapanteles.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cBpqjwIsp1U/T1UOlPk0W8I/AAAAAAAAPc4/4GuzTVkPyGU/s200/Glyptapanteles.png" uda="true" width="150" /></a></div>I know it sounds crazy... but it's actually true! <br />
<br />
The parasitoid wasp <i>Glyptapanteles </i>lays its eggs, about 80 at a time, in young <i>geometrid </i>caterpillars. The eggs hatch and the larvae feed on the caterpillar's body fluids. When they are fully developed, they eat through the caterpillar's skin, attach themselves to a nearby branch or leaf and wrap themselves up in a cocoon.<br />
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Having partially developed inside caterpillars, the larvae of the wasps manipulate their hosts into watching over them as a mother or bodyguard might. <br />
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The caterpillar, still alive, behaves as though controlled by the cocooned larvae. Instead of going about its usual daily business, it stands arched over the cocoons without moving away or feeding.<br />
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Here's a video:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="301" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7UkDMrG6tog" width="400"></iframe><br />
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The caterpillar - now effectively a zombie - stays alive until the adult wasps hatch.<br />
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"We don't know exactly what kills the caterpillars, but it is fascinating that the moment of death seems to be tuned to the duration of the wasp's pupal stage," says Arne Janssen of the University of Amsterdam.<br />
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Although Janssen and his colleagues do not know how the parasites make the caterpillars change their behaviour, they think that a few larvae in each brood may sacrifice themselves to help their brothers and sisters.<br />
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"If we dissect the caterpillars, we find one or two <i>parasitoid </i>larvae have stayed behind, even after the rest of the brood has emerged and formed cocoons," says Janssen.<br />
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It could be that the larvae that remain in the host control its behaviour in order to make it protect the rest of the brood.<br />
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Cool huh? I found this at <a href="http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14053">New Scientist</a>, where you can read the entire article.Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-7260275271311425752012-03-06T14:10:00.001-05:002012-03-06T14:10:00.478-05:00Zombie Cockroach Cure?And how about this? Scientists have developed a cure for zombie cockroaches... I guess because we need more of them? Or is it because there really will be a zombie apocalypse and we're going to need the cure for ourselves? And is it wasps who will turn us into zombies? Or scientists experimenting with them? I don't know... what do you think? Here's a video:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="301" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9fO0zHiAIG8" width="400"></iframe><br />
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Watch how jewel wasps turn cockroaches into "zombies" and find out about the antidote scientists have discovered. <br />
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For more info see this article at <a href="http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn12983-zombie-cockroaches-revived-by-brain-shot.htmlml">New Scientist</a>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-18729611851649386082012-03-05T11:17:00.001-05:002023-06-18T12:29:46.147-04:00Love it!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I-0aEQchkh0/T1TmzciJJ1I/AAAAAAAAPcA/MAwoJv8bf9s/s1600/i+love+this+stick.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I-0aEQchkh0/T1TmzciJJ1I/AAAAAAAAPcA/MAwoJv8bf9s/s400/i+love+this+stick.jpg" uda="true" width="302" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Too funny!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">More fun stuff at <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/something-fun/">Hey It's Me</a></span></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-77505658203489793042012-03-05T10:52:00.004-05:002023-06-18T12:25:07.394-04:00Love is not a Feeling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GKZHZxn6upU/T1UHyt0C_BI/AAAAAAAAPcw/WYAAqAkNC9Q/s1600/old-couple-holding-hands.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GKZHZxn6upU/T1UHyt0C_BI/AAAAAAAAPcw/WYAAqAkNC9Q/s400/old-couple-holding-hands.jpg" uda="true" width="400" /></a></div>I also like this definition of love (from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love">wikipedia</a>). I think it might even be true: <br />
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<em>Psychologist Erich Fromm maintained in his book "The art of loving" that love is not merely a feeling but is also actions, and that in fact, the "feeling" of love is superficial in comparison to ones commitment to love via a series of loving actions over time. In this sense, Fromm held that love is ultimately not a feeling at all, but rather is a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, ones self, or many others, over a sustained duration. Fromm also described Love as a conscious choice that in its early stages might originate as an involuntary feeling, but which then later no longer depends on those feelings, but rather depends only on conscious commitment.</em><div><em><br /></em></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">More cool stuff about love can be found here: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/looking-for-love/">Hey It's Me</a></span></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-7758844749458179062012-03-05T10:52:00.003-05:002023-06-18T09:23:15.018-04:00All Is For Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tWzqtuWpgyY/T1UBSRiDJ6I/AAAAAAAAPco/7s7SniJC9Xs/s1600/Compassion%2520-%2520947162_kindness_1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tWzqtuWpgyY/T1UBSRiDJ6I/AAAAAAAAPco/7s7SniJC9Xs/s1600/Compassion%2520-%2520947162_kindness_1.jpg" uda="true" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><br />
In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><em>The children of Adam are limbs of one body<br />
Having been created of one essence.</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>When the calamity of time afflicts one limb</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>The other limbs cannot remain at rest.</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><br />
Source: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love">Wikipedia</a><div><br /></div><div>More cool quotes and interesting stuff can be found at my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/quotes-i-love/">Hey It's Me</a></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-51079706222829988792012-03-05T10:28:00.002-05:002023-06-18T09:32:47.986-04:00In Love?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fzlbYMugdF4/T1T6cS-RhJI/AAAAAAAAPcY/GmuNDf8J8FY/s1600/love-hurts_design.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fzlbYMugdF4/T1T6cS-RhJI/AAAAAAAAPcY/GmuNDf8J8FY/s320/love-hurts_design.png" uda="true" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. </em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. </em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. </em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>I hate love.</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><em>~Neil Gaiman</em></div><div style="text-align: right;"><em><br /></em></div><div style="text-align: left;">For more cool quotes visit my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/waycoolquotes/">Way Cool Quotes</a></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-17100520326319254982012-03-05T10:20:00.007-05:002023-06-18T12:20:46.115-04:00But wait! There's more!But wait, there's more. Not satisfied with what the dictionary had to say about love, I took a trip to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love">wikipedia</a> to see what they had to say about it. Wow! That was a lot of information... Here's their simplest explanation:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ENE6YGTqfnc/T1T74ppfKdI/AAAAAAAAPcg/IL1cnPRlTyQ/s1600/affection+bigflower+love+resized.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ENE6YGTqfnc/T1T74ppfKdI/AAAAAAAAPcg/IL1cnPRlTyQ/s320/affection+bigflower+love+resized.jpg" uda="true" width="320" /></a></div><em>Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.</em><br />
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<em>In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.</em><br />
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<em>Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.</em><br />
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<em>Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species. People with developmental disorders may have a limited or minimal capability of experiencing love.</em><div><em><br /></em></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Find more stuff about love at my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/looking-for-love/">Hey It's Me</a></span></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-65381495447187002042012-03-05T10:16:00.004-05:002023-06-18T12:12:17.879-04:00Definition of Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LvCH96qj2_I/T1T22ho38XI/AAAAAAAAPcQ/efmbqQsEi-M/s1600/love-is-red-05.png" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LvCH96qj2_I/T1T22ho38XI/AAAAAAAAPcQ/efmbqQsEi-M/s200/love-is-red-05.png" uda="true" width="200" /></a></div>Here's the dictionary definition of love. It's a long list. How interesting that in tennis love means nothing, zero, zilch. How did that come about, I wonder...<br />
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<ol><li>a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. </li>
<li>a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. </li>
<li>sexual passion or desire. </li>
<li>a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. </li>
<li>(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love? </li>
<li>a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. </li>
<li>sexual intercourse; copulation. </li>
<li>( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid. </li>
<li>affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. </li>
<li>strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books. </li>
<li>the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love. </li>
<li>the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God. </li>
<li>Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing. </li>
<li>a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.</li>
<li>to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her. </li>
<li>to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person). </li>
<li>to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. </li>
<li>to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight. </li>
<li>to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover. </li>
<li>to have sexual intercourse with. </li>
</ol><div><span style="font-size: large;">More fun and interesting stuff about love can be found at my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/category/looking-for-love/">Hey It's Me</a></span></div>
Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5545253074616976203.post-47960445953972359022012-03-05T10:14:00.003-05:002023-06-18T09:48:05.349-04:00What is Love Actually?So, what is love, anyway... everybody talks about it... we all want it... don't we? I can find quotes, and images, books and lengthy dissertaions about love - how to get it, how to express it, where to find it, where not to find it... but what is love actually? Here's one definition:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wR-1KKGkZro/T1TpJfVlAiI/AAAAAAAAPcI/oV7Ec5HWeSo/s1600/weird-love-quote.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wR-1KKGkZro/T1TpJfVlAiI/AAAAAAAAPcI/oV7Ec5HWeSo/s1600/weird-love-quote.png" uda="true" /></a></div><br />
I looked up the dictionary definition and came up with a short version that seems true to me. Here it is: <br />
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<em><strong>Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment, profoundly tender, a feeling in which you find pleasure and receive great benefit from when you give it, and also when you receive it.</strong></em><br />
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And that's probably why that quote about wierd love sounds so true. How profoundly wonderful it is to find someone whose wierdness is compatible with your own. Wouldn't it right away give you a pleasurable feeling of safety and delight to discover that suddenly you are not alone? And how would you not get attached to that? Of course we love the people whose wierdness is compatible with ours - we love them all the way up until the day we change, or they change... or life splits us apart.<div><br /></div><div>More fun and interesting stuff can be found at my new website: <a href="https://shirleytwofeathers.com/The_Blog/heyitsme/">Hey It's Me</a></div>Shirley Twofeathershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05911925862486389242noreply@blogger.com3