John as George by Depeche Mode

So, I was going through the posts here on ShirleyTwofeathers, looking at everything that was still in draft form. Doing a little housekeeping, and I found this video. It's way out dated - but fun nevertheless, so I'm posting it today just in case someone finds it as entertaining as I did:

Unofficial Music Video for "John The Revelator" performed by "Depeche Mode"

   

 Here's a link to the video on YouTube

  "John The Revelator" performed by "Depeche Mode"

My Unitarian Jihad Name!!

Inspired by Jon Carroll's column in the Chronicle, and after reasoned and lengthy discussion, the committee reached a consensus that you should be called:

My Unitarian Jihad Name is:

The Machine Gun of Mild Reason.

Get yours.

Love and Marriage

Do you have questions about love and marriage? I've got the answers right here! Just about anything you want to know about this important issue. I found it in my inbox this morning, it was too fun not to share.


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

• You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
  ~Alan, age 10
• No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
  ~Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

• Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER , by then..
  ~Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

• You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
  ~Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

• Both don't want any more kids.
  ~Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

• Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
  ~Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)
• On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
  ~Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

• I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
  ~Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

• When they're rich.
  ~Pam, age 7
• The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
  ~Curt, age 7
• The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
  ~Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
  ~Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

• There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
  ~Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

• Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck hit her.
  ~Ricky, age 10

More fun stuff at my new website: Hey It's Me

The Epic Blizzard of 2011

Well... amazingly, our roads are now cleared.

Here's a picture:

Too bad all the houses and cars are buried!

LOL!

My New Album!

Cool, huh? You can make one too. Here's how:

1 - Go to Wikipedia.org and hit random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr.com and click on “explore the last seven days”. Or go to picasa, click on "explore." The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.

5 - Post it on facebook with explanatory text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in.

I had so much fun, I made two more!





Which one is your favorite?

Hypnotized

Over at The Prosperity Project, I'm gearing up for 30 days of self-hypnosis. And just in case you're wondering if hypnosis works - Here's proof!!
LOL

My Johari Window

Here's a link to my Johari Window... Two Feathers Johari. Why not visit it and put your own two cents in... You might even want to make one of your own!

What the heck is a Johari Window? The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

You can get your own Johari Window, or contribute to mine. If you do make one for yourself, leave your link and I'll be sure to visit it.

Rules for Cats

When it comes to living the good life, I personally think that cats really do have it figured out. So, if you have a cat, here are the rules - and if you want to live as if you were a cat, this might give you some ideas on how to accomplish it:

Doors:
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

Chairs and Rugs:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

Bathrooms:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything . . . just sit and stare.

Hampering:
If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

• When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
  
  
• For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
  
  
• For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.
  
  
• For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim-to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to be startled.
  

Walking:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

Bedtime:
Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around.

Play:
This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games. Below are listed several favorite cat games that you can play. It is important, though, to maintain one's dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say "I meant to do that!" It fools those humans every time.

Cat Games:

• Catch Mouse:
  The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse!
  
  
• King of the Hill:
  This game must be played with at least one other cat. The more, the merrier! One or both of the sleeping humans is Hill 303 which must be defended at all costs from the other cat(s). Anything goes. This game allows for the development of unusual tactics as one must take the unstable playing theater into account.
  
  Warning: Playing either of these games to excess will result in expulsion from the bed and possibly from the bedroom. Should the humans grow restless, immediately begin purring and cuddle up to them. This should buy you some time until they fall asleep again. If one happens to be on a human when this occurs, this cat wins the round of King of the Hill.
  

Toys:
Any small item is a potential toy. If a human tries to confiscate it, this means that it is a good toy. Run with it under the bed. Look suitably outraged when the human grabs you and takes it away. Always watch where it is put so you can steal it later. Two reliable sources of toys are dresser tops and wastebaskets. There are several types of cat toys.

• Bright shiny things like keys, brooches, or coins should be hidden so that the other cat(s) or humans can't play with them. They are generally good for playing hockey with on uncarpeted floors.
  
  
• Dangly and/or string-like things such as shoelaces, cords, gold chains, and dental floss (& Q-tips) also make excellent toys. They are favorites of humans who like to drag them across the floor for us to pounce on.
  
  
• When a string is dragged under a newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug Mouse and should be killed at all costs. Take care, though. Humans are sneaky and will try to make you lose your dignity.
  

Paper Bags:
Within paper bags dwell the bag mice. They are small and camouflaged to be the same color as the bag, so they are hard to see. But you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, up to and including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them. Note: any other cat you may find in a bag hunting for bag mice is fair game for a sneak attack, which will usually result in a great Tagmatch.

Food:
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are guidelines for getting fed.

• When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.
  
  
• Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table. Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from.
  
  
• Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent. Your food will usually not be so polite and try to leave.
  
  
• Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the dignity of a cat to beg outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist. These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the "softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, the "direct stare", and twining around people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively.
  

Sleeping:
As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.

Scratching Posts:
It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren't around won't help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is not recommended.

Humans:
Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one's Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

source: received via email

I love this stuff!

Here's something fun!

Found this at Facebook, and couldn't resist putting it here as well. The instructions for Facebook are a little different.... I don't know if we'll have any "takers," but I'm hoping we will, and that over time this will be a really interesting comment stream!

Here's the game: Grab the book nearest you. Right now. • Turn to page 56. • Find the sixth sentence. • Post that sentence as a comment right here. • Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST book.

If you want to share this on Facebook, use these instructions:

Here's the game: Grab the book nearest you. Right now. • Turn to page 56. • Find the sixth sentence. • Post that sentence AS YOUR STATUS. AND POST these instructions in a comment to this status • Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST book.

Still Not Satisfied

I'm still not completely satisfied that I'll have all of my questions answered... so I give you Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Ha! How cool is that? Go ahead, ask her a question - you know you want to!


Don't use a Magic 8-Ball. Get an Askzy!

Still Have Questions?

If Dexter and Tony Soprano didn't quite nail the answers to your questions... try Tony Montana! His life was a blazing success!! (Well, OK, some people wouldn't call it a success... exactly. He did have a lot of money though! And balls!)


Don't use a Magic 8-Ball. Get an Askzy!

Any Questions?

Gotta question? Well, now you can ask Tony Soprano!! How fun is that?


Don't use a Magic 8-Ball. Get an Askzy!

Bob Dylan - Wow!

And so now I'm on a roll with the Bob Dylan videos...
This one was so much fun!
I love him!

Games for when we are older

In honor of my birthday, I thought I'd post this list of games for when we are older.

1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

How To Stay Young

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them.”


2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.


3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.


4. Enjoy the simple things.


5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.


6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.


7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.


8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.


9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county or to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity!


11. Be ALIVE while you are alive,and last but not least!


12. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. So! Who do you love most?? Do a quick check!! Who would want to spend their whole life with someone they didn't love??? Now THINK about that one!!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

• Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


• We all need to live life to its fullest each day.

Learn Chinese in Five Minutes

English Phrase
- Chinese Version

That's not right
- Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?
- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP
- Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
- Dum Fuk

Small Horse
- Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
- Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table
- Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift
- Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
- Wao So Dim

I thought you were on a diet
- Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone
- No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week
- Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight
- Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
- Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
- Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great
- Fa Kin Su Pah

You can do it!
Try reading each lesson out loud.

My Name Has Power - Check it out!

Your Name's Power is Optimism

Your name's power is that it helps you be optimistic. Your name conveys both endurance and devotion. People who meet you can't help but think you are fiery. You try to live your life in a solid, connected way.

What's Your Name's Power?

Playing the Emotions Game

I meant to upload this the other day when I was obsessing over emotions, and then I got so emotional that I forgot all about it!! So here ya go:

Ok, so maybe you don't want to actually experience your emotions. That's cool. Here's a game you can play - online - what a great way to avoid actually FEELING anything while still being able to SAY that you WORKED with a wide variety of EMOTIONS! Interested? Here's the link.

Little Golden Books That Never Made It

It's hard to get a book published these days... here's a list of Little Golden Books that never made it... I wonder why!

• You Are Different and That’s Bad
• Dad’s New Wife Steve
• Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
• The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking
• Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• All Cats Go to Hell
• The Little Sissy Who Snitched
• Some Kittens Can Fly
• Strangers Have the Best Candy
• Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
• The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Veggies
• Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
• Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her