Monday, February 6, 2012

My Unitarian Jihad Name!!

Inspired by Jon Carroll's column in the Chronicle, and after reasoned and lengthy discussion, the committee reached a consensus that you should be called:

The Machine Gun of Mild Reason.

Secret To Immortality

If you are what you eat - and you want to live forever - then eat McDonalds hamburgers. They never decompose!

This video shows a true story about a guy who's been saving hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and Big Macs from McDonalds for over 18 years... and they look EXACTLY the same! Check it out - they haven’t decomposed in over two decades!

Visit Bionic Burger or The Best Day Ever for more information. And if you don't believe it, here's another video:

Sally Davies, a New York-based photographer took a fresh McDonald's Happy Meal On 10 April, 2010 to see if what she had read online about a school teacher with a 12-year-old McDonald's burger could possibly be true.

She's been photographing it regularly ever since. After 6 Months there was very little sign of decay.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Video History of the Ninja

The original videos I had embedded are no longer available on YouTube, so I found these two. Not sure how much alike they are, but two is better than one... I think?


How To Spot A Ninja

Ninjas are masters at the art of being invisible. Here's a perfect example:

Above is an artist's depiction of a fruit bowl. It was only when he looked at his finished painting that he realized a ninja was hiding in front of him the whole time.
If you're trying to find a ninja, (make sure you have a written will and you've said goodbye to everybody you love, unless you can bribe a ninja or beg him to be your slave) these are the places they're most commonly found. How do I know? Well let's just say I've lost a lot of interns.
  • Behind you
  • In front of you
  • Near you
  • Around you...
... I am so sorry to do this to you, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, and can be found in its entirety here: How To Spot A Ninja

What is a Ninja?

Whoops, were you looking for a ninja?
If so, HE'S BEHIND YOU, YOU IDIO- ahh, damn.
Too late again.

Ninja (zool. cut-throatius ninjutsu-useis head-rippus-offis assassinus Japanensis) (pl. ninji) is the common Japanese term for a group of intentionally badass martial artists with a complete dominion over all things totally sweet who specialize in killing people, flying, and burger/pizza/magazine delivery, which they do 24/7, and have also been known to mysteriously show up several hours before the burger/pizza/magazine was even ordered, with your condiments....

... I am so sorry to do this to you, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, and can be found in its entirety here: What is a Ninja?

My New Favorite Movie

I absolutely adore this movie! The special effects are hilarious - it's clever - has a great plot twist - and while the movie absolutely refuses to take itself seriously, it does manage to have depth and layers of meaning.

Here's what Wikipedia says about it:

Norwegian Ninja is a 2010 Norwegian action comedy film, directed by Thomas Cappelen Malling. The film, based on a 2006 book, presents real-life espionage-convicted Arne Treholt as the leader of a ninja group saving Norway during the Cold War and stars Mads Ousdal as Treholt.

The film is loosely based on the story of Norwegian politician and diplomat Arne Treholt, who in 1985 was convicted of high treason and espionage on behalf of the Soviet Union and Iraq. In 2006, Thomas Cappelen Malling wrote the book Ninjateknikk II. Usynlighet i strid 1978 ("Ninja Technique II: Invisibility in combat 1978"). The book was presented as a military manual written by Treholt in 1978. It achieved a certain cult status, and was considered a success at 5,000 units sold.

In December 2008 it was announced that the Norwegian Film Institute would support a film made by Cappelen Malling with NOK 10.5 million, in spite of the fact that the author had no previous experience from the movie industry. The book forms the basis for the film, where an alternative universe-Treholt leads a group of ninjas set up by then - King Olav V to combat the Soviets. The original working title was Nytt norsk håp ("New Norwegian Hope"), and the total budget was NOK 19 million. The producers describe the story as taking place directly before Treholt's arrest in 1984, presenting "the true story of how Commander Arne Treholt and his Ninja Force saved Norway during the Cold War." Cappelen Malling himself describes the film as "alternative history", but only in the sense that all history is alternative. Treholt himself has allegedly given his consent to both the book and the movie.

The absurd premise of the film secured a great deal of media attention for it ahead of its release. Aftenposten, in January 2010, predicted it would be one of the most absurd works of Norwegian cinema. Verdens Gang quoted producer Eric Vogel, saying "Something like this has never been made in Norway before. Or in the world, as far as I know!" They also interviewed Mads Ousdal, who portrayed Treholt in the film, describing the role as very different from anything he had done previously. Comedian Trond Viggo Torgersen played the part of King Olav V.

Although the movie was not a big box-office success, it did receive some very good reviews. J.S. Marcus of Wall Street Journal: "Hilarious and menacing, absurd and insightful, and an accomplished work of genre film making that authoritatively upends the cold-war spy thriller."

Find it on Amazon: Norwegian Ninja

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