Sunday, February 14, 2010

Fish Out Of Water

Ok, so I found a really really long and complete list of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, and I'm wondering... who the heck writes this stuff? And maybe it would be good if I had a complete list of Twofeathers Rules of Being Cool and Having a Fun Life... then I could follow those rules and be cool and have a fun life... or probably and most likely I wouldn't follow the rules at all and my life would be as uncool as it is right now and I'd be having about as much fun as I'm having right now... so maybe what I really need is Twofeathers Rules of Not Being Cool and Having a Not Fun Life. Then, I could not follow those rules and my life would be cool and fun... what do you think? Would it work? Or would that be the one and only time in my life when I actually did follow the rules?


Also, buried in all those Ferengi rules is one that is actually pretty interesting and something I hadn't actually thought of before. It's rule #152: You can't free a fish from water. And I assume that means that you can't free a fish from water without killing it. So now I'm wondering what, (in my uncool not so much fun right now life,) is the water that I can't be freed from.

And it occurs to me that maybe the idea of coming out of the box, expanding horizons, stepping out of comfort zones, or jumping into the deep end of the pool, brings out this primal fear of being a "fish out of water" of finding out that what's on the other side of the fishbowl, (which up til now felt like a prison), is actually the annihilation of "OMG I can't breathe out here, where the hell is the water!"

The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition


The Ferengi believe that the universe is held together by the Great Material Continuum, also known as the Great River. They believe that each part of the universe has too much of one thing, but not enough of another, and it is through the continual flow of the Great River that wants and needs can be fulfilled, if one navigates the River with sufficient entrepreneurial skill. Like most of their culture, their religion is also based on the principles of capitalism: they offer prayers and monetary offerings to a "Blessed Exchequer" in hopes of entering the "Divine Treasury" upon death, and fear an afterlife spent in the "Vault of Eternal Destitution".


And so here we have: The Complete Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition

  1. Once you have their money, never give it back
  2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try
  3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to
  4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough
  5. If you can't break a contract, bend it
  6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity
  7. Always keep you ears open
  8. Keep count of your change
  9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit
  10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one
  11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines
  12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice
  13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money
  14. Anything stolen is pure profit
  15. Acting stupid is often smart
  16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along
  17. A bargain usually isn't
  18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
  19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion
  20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat
  21. Never place friend ship before profit
  22. Wise men can hear profit in the wind
  23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest
  24. Never ask when you can take
  25. Fear makes a good business partner
  26. The vast Majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it
  27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down
  28. Morality is always defined by those in power
  29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying
  30. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money
  31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother
  32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects
  33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss
  34. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore
  35. Peace is good for business
  36. War is good for business
  37. You can always buy back a lost reputation
  38. Free advertising is cheap
  39. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
  40. If you see profit on a journey, take it
  41. Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention
  42. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit
  43. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon
  44. Never argue with a loaded phaser
  45. Profit has limits. Loss has none
  46. Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person
  47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you own
  48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife
  49. Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent
  50. Never bluff a Klingon
  51. Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame
  52. Only Bugsy could have built Las Vegas
  53. Sell first; ask questions later
  54. Never buy anything you can't sell
  55. Always sell at the highest possible profit
  56. Pursue profit; women come later
  57. Good customers are almost as rare as Latinum - treasure them
  58. Friendship is seldom cheap
  59. Fee advice is never cheap
  60. Never use Latinum where your words will do
  61. Never buy what can be stolen
  62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit
  63. Power without profit is like a ship without an engine
  64. Don't talk shop; talk shopping
  65. Don't talk ship; talk shipping
  66. Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it
  67. Enough is never enough
  68. Compassion is no substitute for a profit
  69. You could afford your ship without your government - if it weren't for your government
  70. Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise
  71. Gamble and trade have two things in common: risk and Latinum
  72. Never let the competition know, what you're thinking
  73. Never trust advice from a dying Ferengi; listen but don't trust
  74. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
  75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum
  76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies
  77. Go where no Ferengi has gone before; where there is no reputation there is profit
  78. There is a customer born every minute
  79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge
  80. If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique
  81. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman
  82. A smart customer is not a good customer
  83. Revenge is profitless
  84. She can touch your ears but never your Latinum
  85. Death takes no bribes
  86. A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity
  87. Trust is the biggest liability of all
  88. When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear something
  89. Latinum lasts longer than lust
  90. Mine is better than ours
  91. He who drinks fast pays slow
  92. Never confuse wisdom with luck
  93. He's a fool who makes his doctor his heir
  94. Beware of small expenses: a small leak will kill a ship
  95. Important, more impotant, Latinum
  96. Faith moves mountains - of inventory
  97. If you would keep a secret from an enemy, don't tell it to a friend
  98. Profit is the better part of valor
  99. Never trust a wise man
  100. Everything that has no owner, needs one
  101. Never do something you can make someone do for you
  102. Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever
  103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity
  104. Money is never made. It is merely won or lost
  105. Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth
  106. There is no honor in poverty
  107. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian Beetle Snuff
  108. A woman wearing clothes is like a man without profit
  109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack
  110. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity
  111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them
  112. Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first
  113. Never sleep with the boss's sister
  114. Small print lead to large risk
  115. Greed is eternal
  116. There's always a way out
  117. If the profit seems too good to be true, it usually is
  118. Never cheat a honest man offering a decent price
  119. Buy, sell, or get out of the way
  120. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum
  121. Everything is for sale, even friendship
  122. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer
  123. A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer
  124. Friendship is temporary, profit is forever
  125. A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth
  126. A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of view
  127. Gratitude can bring on generosity
  128. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races
  129. Never trust your customers
  130. Never trust a beneficiary
  131. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother
  132. The flimsier the produce, the higher the price
  133. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet ... sometimes good things come in small packages
  134. There's always a catch
  135. The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it
  136. The sharp knife cuts quickly. Act without delay!
  137. Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father
  138. Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder
  139. Wives serve; brothers inherit
  140. The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more
  141. Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. Fait play and financial loss go hand-in-hand
  142. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves
  143. The family of Fools is ancient
  144. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket
  145. Always ask for the costs first
  146. If possible sell neither the sizzle nor the steak, but the Elphasian wheat germ
  147. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back
  148. Opportunity waits for no one Females and finances don't mix
  149. Make your shop easy to find
  150. Sometimes, what you get free costs entirely too much
  151. Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits
  152. You can't free a fish from water
  153. The difference between manure and Latinum is commerece
  154. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too
  155. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
  156. You are surrounded by opportunities; you just have to know where to look
  157. Don't pay until you have the goods
  158. The customer is always right ... until you have their cash
  159. Respect is good, Latinum is better
  160. Never kill a customer, unless you make more profit out of his death than out of his life
  161. His money is only your's when he can't get it back
  162. A thirsty customer is good for profit, a drunk one isn't
  163. Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's
  164. Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a universal goal: profit
  165. Never give away for free what can be sold
  166. If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially unprofitable revenge, is illegal
  167. Beware of relatives bearing gifts
  168. If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable
  169. Never gamble with an empath
  170. Time is Latinum. The early Ferengi get the Latinum
  171. If you can sell it, don't hsitate to steal it
  172. A piece of Latinum in the hand is worth two in a customer's pocket
  173. Share and perish
  174. When everything fails - run
  175. Ferengi's don't give promotional gifts!
  176. Know your enemies ... but do business with them always
  177. The world is a stage - don't forget to demand admission
  178. Whenever you think that things can't get worse, the FCA will be knocking on you door
  179. Never offer a confession when a bribe will do
  180. Even dishonesty can't tarnish the glow of Latinum
  181. Whenever you're being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES
  182. Genius without opportunity is like Latinum in the mine
  183. There are three things you must not talk to aliens: sex, religion and taxes
  184. If you want to ruin yourself there are three known ways: Gambling is the fastest, women are the sweetest, and banks are the most reliable way
  185. There are two things that will catch up with you for sure: death and taxes
  186. If your dancing partner wants to lead at all costs, let her have her own way and ask another one to dance
  187. Never bet on a race you haven't fixed
  188. Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing
  189. Drive your business or it will drive you
  190. Let other keep their reputation. You keep their money
  191. If the flushing isn't strong enough, use your brain and try the brush
  192. Klingon women don't dance tango
  193. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door
  194. Wounds heal, but debt is forever
  195. Only give money to people you know you can steal from
  196. Never trust your customers, especially if they are your relatives
  197. Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success - don't hesitate to step on them
  198. The secret of one person is another person's opportunity
  199. A madman with Latinum means profit without return
  200. The justification for profit is profit
  201. a) A friend in need is a customer in the making
    b) A friend in need means three times the profit
  202. A Ferengi in need, will never do anything for free
  203. When the Grand Nagus arrives to offer you a business opportunity, it's time to leave town until he's gone
  204. When the customer dies, the money stops a-comin'
  205. Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians - it's good to have a friend around when you lose
  206. Never trust a hardworking employee
  207. Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer
  208. Tell them what they want to hear
  209. A wife, who is able to clean, saves the cleaning lady
  210. In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator
  211. If they accept your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much
  212. Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides
  213. Never begin a business transaction on an empty stomach
  214. Instinct without opportunity is useless
  215. Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself
  216. Only pay for it, if you are confronted with loaded phaser
  217. Always know what you're buying
  218. A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount
  219. Profit is like a bed of roses - a few thorns are inevitable
  220. Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes
  221. Knowledge is Latinum
  222. Rich men don't come to buy; they come to take
  223. Never throw anything away: It may be worth a lot of Latinum some Stardate
  224. Pride comes before a loss
  225. Don't take your family for granted, only their Latinum
  226. Loyalty can be bought ... and sold
  227. All things come to those who wait, even Latinum
  228. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox
  229. Manipulation may be a Ferengi's greatest tool, and liability
  230. If you steal it, make sure it has a warranty
  231. Life's no fair (How else would you turn a profit?)
  232. Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining
  233. Never deal with beggars; it's bad for profits
  234. Don't trust anyone who trusts you
  235. You can't buy fate
  236. There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find each one
  237. The truth will cost
  238. Ambition knows no family
  239. The higher you bid, the more customers you drive away
  240. Never underestimate the inportance of the fist impression
  241. More is good, all is better
  242. If you got something nice to say, then SHOUT
  243. If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away
  244. A warranty is valid only if they can find you
  245. He that speaks ill of the wares will buy them
  246. Never question luck
  247. Celebrate when you are paid, not, when you are promised
  248. Respect other culture's beliefs; they'll be more likely to give you money
  249. A dead vendor doesn't demand money
  250. Satisfaction is not guaranteed
  251. Let the buyer beware
  252. A contract without fine print is a fool's document
  253. Anyone who can't tell a fake doesn't deserve the real thing
  254. A warranty without loop-holes is a liability
  255. Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse
  256. Only fools negotiate with their own money
  257. A Ferengi is only as important as the amount of Latinum he carries in his pockets
  258. A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know
  259. Gambling is like the way to power: The only way to win is to cheat, but don't get caught in the process
  260. A wealthy man can afford everything except a conscience
  261. No lobes, no profit
  262. Never let a female in clothes cloud your sense of profit
  263. It's not the size of your planet, but it's income, that matters
  264. The fear of loss may be your greatest enemy or your best friend - choose wisely
  265. A pair of good ears will ring dry a hundred tongues
  266. Wish not so much to live Long, as to live well
  267. a) When in doubt, lie
    b) When in doubt, buy
    c) When in doubt, demand more money
    d) When in doubt, shoot them, take their money, run and blame someone else
  268. Never purchase anything that has been promised to be valuable or go up in value
  269. It's better to have gambled and lost than to never have gambled at all
  270. There's many witty men whose brains can't line their pockets
  271. The way to a Ferengi's heart is through his wallet
  272. Always count their Latinum before selling anything
  273. There is no profit in love; however, a strong heart is worth a few bars of Latinum on the open market. Keep it on ice
  274. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it
  275. If at first you don't succeed, try to acquire again
  276. Diamonds may be girl's best friend, but you can only buy the girl with Latinum
  277. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit
  278. Never close a deal too soon after a female strokes your lobes
  279. An empty bag can not stand upright
  280. Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell
  281. Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner
  282. Rules are always subject to change
  283. Rules are always subject to interpretation
  284. No good deed ever goes unpunished
  285. When Morn leaves it is all over

Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Osho Horoscope

This was my Osho horoscope for today. I think it's more of a quote for the day than an actual horoscope based on planetary aspects etc, but it really does sum me up quite accurately!


The moment you get a sniff of freedom, there is every chance that your mind will try to find some new way to put you back in your cage. Be alert to it's tricks. It's not so difficult to get it's measure. To find awareness, consciously melt into that which naturally brings you bliss.

"Choose that which brings more and more bliss, silence, serenity and calmness to you."

~Osho,
excerpted from The Book of Wisdom,
Chapter 5

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


"I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast rooted they travel about as far as we do. They go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day, and through space heaven knows how fast and far!

— JOHN MUIR

The Science of Cosmic Oneness

The universe is a living body, an organic unity. In it nothing is isolated, all is connected.




Whatever is far away is connected to that which is near, nothing is separate. So no one should remain in a fallacy that he is an isolated island, separate, aloof. Each one is connected to the whole, and each one is all the time affecting the other and being affected by the other. Even when you pass by a stone lying on the road, it is throwing its vibrations in your direction. The flowers too are throwing out their vibrations. And you are not just passing by, you too are throwing out your vibrations.

It is said that we are affected by the moon and the stars. Another idea that astrology has is that the moon and the stars are affected by us, because influence comes from both directions. Whenever a man like Buddha is born on the Earth, the moon may not realize that it is because of him that storms are not arising on its surface or that because of Buddha the storms have subsided.

The moon is affected and the sun is also moved. When spots occur on the sun and storms arise, diseases spread across the Earth. When a person like Buddha is born on the Earth, a current of peace flows, the pillar of consciousness grows strong, and the deep beauty of meditation moves over the Earth; which also makes it difficult for a storm to arise on the sun because everything is joined together.

A tiny blade of grass has an impact on the sun, and the sun has its impact on the blade of grass. The blade of grass is not so tiny that the sun can say, "I do not care about you," nor is the sun so big that it can say, "What can this blade of grass do for me?"

Life is interconnected. Here nothing is big or small; everything is one organic unity.

By Osho

All About Mentors

Even though I have succeeded in finding a mail order husband, I still felt compelled to "find a mentor" or at least get on track with the who, what, where, when, and how of the mentoring thing. Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, I decided to visit Osho Zen Tarot, I pulled a card with the intention of finding out everything I needed to know about mentors, and this is what came up:

Harmony:

Listen to your heart, move according to your heart, whatsoever the stake: A condition of complete simplicity costing not less than everything.... To be simple is arduous, because to be simple costs everything that you have. You have to lose all to be simple.

That's why people have chosen to be complex and they have forgotten how to be simple. But only a simple heart throbs with God, hand in hand. Only a simple heart sings with God in deep harmony. To reach to that point you will have to find your heart, your own throb, your own beat.


~Osho, Dang Dang Doko Dang, Chapter 3
Commentary:

The experience of resting in the heart in meditation is not something that can be grasped or forced. It comes naturally, as we grow more and more in tune with the rhythms of our own inner silences. The figure on this card reflects the sweetness and delicacy of this experience. The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there. Let yourself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting for you just around the corner. Nobody else can point it out to you, and when you find it you won't be able to find the words to express it to others. But it's there, deep within your heart, ripe and ready to be discovered.

Monday, February 8, 2010

I Found My Man!

So, today I was researching how to find a mentor for the Prosperity Project and ended up (of all places) on Mail Order Husbands! So, I took their quiz to find my ideal match and this is who I came up with:

Congratulations!

You have completed our survey and our proprietary algorithms have determined that you are a very unique and special individual. We have many high quality bachelors and the one that most perfectly aligns with your spiritual and personal values is listed below.

Stan, (stationed) in Iraq

I got way too much time on my hands over here. I'm on my second tour in Iraq and am supposed to go back in a few months. I'm cool with going to most anywhere afterwards. I'm looking for a traditional type of woman who wants a bunch of kids.


For more hilarious weirdness visit my new website: Hey It's Me

So Here We Have It

I found my dream job today, adopted a new Credo, uploaded some photographs to support myself. And here I am, all decked out and ready to go for it:

My New Credo

Daniel thinks I should apply for that job on Craig's list in New York. He thinks I need to make a statement to the universe, and quit moping and pining and whining and complaining and actually DO something. And I started to do just that, even though I know full well that I haven't got a chance in hell of landing it. Then, I realized that I don't want THAT job. I want to BE the person who OFFERS that job. And in order to do that, I need to get over myself and start living my life the way I talk about living it, and just shut up about everything else.

So, I pulled his "credo" off of the job application, and I'm going to put it somewhere that I can see it, and I'm going to begin to actually live my life in that way (just as soon as I get over being scared of it).


The Credo:

One of the fundamental principles of the samurai code of Bushido is that in your own mind, you are already dead; there is nothing you have to fear. An artist should live and feel the same way. You are not attempting to exist in any state other than living and creating your art. You are not afraid to die unknown as far as recognition of you or your work by the popular world. What others think is of no concern. You create your art come what may.

The only thing that matters is the passionate and overwhelming inner aesthetic that drives you on, that makes you feel that this is what I want to do, this is what I believe, this is what I'm going to discover, this is what I'm going to explore; this is the blazing, future. I don't care how dangerous it is. I don't care how enigmatic it is. I've got to go beyond what I've ever done before. I may and will go beyond what most people see or understand at this time. That is the Zen warrior’s and the artist’s code, “the absolute will to die” as I have translated it in my own terms in my books THE SAMURAI WAY and FIRE IN MY HAIR.

—Harvey Lloyd

Samurai Warriors Were Real

Since I'm going to start living by the Samurai Code (just as soon as I get over being scared of it) I thought it might be helpful to remind myself that Samurai Warriors were actually real people who lived in the real world and really did do real stuff. This is not some fantasy fiction I found in an obscure book. So... here are some photos!




This Pretty Much Sums Me Up Today

I remember my youth and the feeling that will never come back any more—the feeling that I could last for ever, outlast the sea, the earth, and all men; the deceitful feeling that lures us on to joys, to perils, to love, to vain effort—to death; the triumphant conviction of strength, the heat of life in the handful of dust, the glow in the heart that with every year grows dim, grows cold, grows small, and expires—and expires, too soon, to soon—before life itself.
— Joseph Conrad

Light, Love, and Art


Light is supreme. Inner light, the light with which we learn to view the world. The art of seeing relies heavily on the light which comes from our minds, holy light which illuminates a dark world with our imaginings and our dreams. How can we see through the veil of order which imprisons us like caterpillars in a cocoon from which we will never emerge as shining butterflies? The search for beauty is the truest meaning of life. Until we gain the ability to see beauty in the simplest things, we cannot love in the highest meaning of the word. We learn to love ourselves which brings about love of others. Life itself is love and art.


~Harvey Lloyd

We Dream

"...We dream of traveling through the universe - but is not the universe within ourselves? The depths of our spirit are unknown to us - the mysterious way leads inwards. Eternity with its worlds - the past and future - is in ourselves or nowhere. The external world is the world of shadows - it throws its shadow into the realm of light. At present this realm certainly seems to us so dark inside, lonely. shapeless. But how entirely different it will seem to us - when this gloom is past, and the body of shadows has moved away. We will experience greater enjoyment than ever, for our spirit has been deprived."

~Novalis, from 'Miscellaneous Observations', 1798

My Dream Job!

So, I searched Craig's List for jobs today, and found my dream job, the one I should have applied for AND gotten back when I was fresh out of high school and just getting started with the extreme mess I have made of my life.


Globe Circling Master artist-photographer-writer seeks interns (Gramercy)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-02-06, 5:49PM EST
Reply to: job-ndfgb-1589075059@craigslist.org

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GLOBE CIRCLING MASTER ADVENTURE TRAVEL ARTIST, PHOTOGRAPHER, WRITER SEEKS DARING INTERNS: “IF YOUR LIFE BORES YOU, RISK IT”

Harvey Lloyd, top million and a half mile adventure travel artist, master photographer, writer, aerial photography specialist, iconoclast and poet (www.harveylloyd.com) seeks the best, brightest, creative, energetic, dedicated self-starters as interns, assistants, or apprentices in his atelier. Apply if you have a “fire in your hair” passion for art, photography, science, technology, endless curiosity, study the university of the Internet, and have an insatiable desire to see and witness the world. You will dare anything to become a “tenth degree black belt” rebellious, sensitive, madly creative, out of the box artist. You will work like hell to know and master the exponentially expanding artist’s “paintbox” —the magic, empowering art and techniques of digital photography and digital software .In short, you are one of the best and the brightest!

Artist-photographer Harvey Lloyd runs a creative, no holds barred, damned to hell with all pedagogic rules, aging mind sets, political correctness and restraints—a fire in the belly, freedom loving chaotic studio. We work passionately, recklessly, intuitively and sensitively to shatter the boundaries, cliches and limits of any and all arts and sciences that deal with vision and images. We live, love and breathe the magic of the digital revolution, work, practice and play 7/24 to explore and ex the limits of creativity and freedom. We are the future!

The digital age demands new blood, new minds, new eyes, passion, tenacity, boldness, courage and the greatest audacity. Fear of failure is the opiate of unenlightened pedants, bean counters and the orthodoxy of mass culture. Read every line of this revolutionary manifesto please, and e-mail your answer as requested below.

I erect myself at the exact point where knowledge meets madness and I erect no safety rail.
—BALZAC

Digital photography grandly bestows on us the virtually unknown and limitless child born of quantum perplexity, chance—the serendipity of the unexpected— and the holographic nature of light and light’s universe. Digital images emerge as pure information, a new life giving profound, passionate potential, a quantum leap to the stars from the limitations of celluloid film. The power of digital technology, cameras and software gives is the power of limitless information in the service of imagination, a becoming filled with the DNA and fires of an unborn child, evolution taking a giant step to knowing herself, the reckless, fierce and holy scriptures of new art. . Sculptor David Smith proclaimed, “An arrogant independence to create is my only motivation ”

Digital photography is a quantum leap from the discipline of film photography which was limited to “real” images. What you saw is what you got. Digital, like quantum physics deals with light’s universe, indeterminacy. It is a cloud that exists only in the form of unlimited information . This astonishing, exponentially expanding medium challenges us to learn to explore and see the many masks and faces of the world and of the universe—to see “what isn’t there.”

You must concentrate upon and consecrate yourself wholly to each day as though a fire were raging in your hair.
—The Zen Way to the Martial Arts

This manifesto calls and challenges those few who have the fire in their hair, and the passion, courage, tenacity and will to triumph over all obstacles. In the immortal words of heroic explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton in his ad for an Antarctic exploration adventure, “Safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in event of success.” Join us if yyou dare, and set sail on the unexplored and tempestuous seas of Lloyd’s way, “The Zen of Fluid Motion Digital Photography.”

See Lloyd’s new books, FIRE IN MY HAIR, Reinventing the Art of Photography in the Digital Age; and VOICES FROM THE FUTURE, Young People Speak About Their Lives, Art and Photography (your voices ) and THE SAMURAI WAY, Spiritual Adventures with a Warrior Photographer. On the website, Lloyd’s revolutionary abstract BREAKING THE LIGHT digital images display light’s invisible patterns. These single exposure images predict and map a digital future unknown, mysterious and unseen until now. Lloyd’s work shatters the conventions of two hundred years of traditional photography.
His abstract digital camera paintings proclaim a revolutionary new direction and historic turning point for the art of photography.

Jack Kerouac shouted, The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww '

Learn the secrets of the greatest mystery—how to live and work at a totally creative, freedom loving and paid for artist’s way of life and profession in the real world—and never get bored, quit, retire, slow down or stop creating. The power of digital technology frees an artist to, in the great French “Art Brute” painter Dubuffet’s words, “re-invent the world every day.”

Lloyd has over forty years behind the lens making adventure travel, aerial, journalistic, abstract expressionist images, documentary films, and multi-screen, multi-media shows worldwide. He has ten published picture books to his credit among which are THE SAMURAI WAY, Spiritual Adventures with a Warrior Photographer; SACRED LANDS OF THE SOUTHWEST: aerial photography of Arizona, Utah and New Mexico; AERIAL PHOTOGRAPHY, the first book on how to do this art;. Books, DVD sound & light shows in progress and finished include YELLOWSTONE: THE DEVIL’S VOLCANO, FOUR SEASONS OF HENRY MOORE at the New York Botanical Garden; ULTIMATE ROSES: The inner life of roses; THE DEAD SEA: Aerial Photographs of Mysterious Rainbows; and SACRED LANDS OF THE SOUTHWEST; The Grandeur of the National Parks.

Light is more fundamental than space and time...There is no medium for light in the physical world because light is not in the physical world. The physical world is in light. Light is visual consciousness itself.
—SAMUEL AVERY, Transcendence of the Western Mind;
Physics, Metaphysics and Life on Earth

Lloyd hangs out of helicopters over seven continents and seven seas. His chaotic, creative, anything goes, multi-award winning, inventive, idol smashing studio is a rare bird in the fierce wars of the business worlds of art and photography. You will learn professional and business practices from his forty plus years of business and marketing skills—getting published in media, writing proposals for picture books and getting them published, creating installations, multi-screen and documentary projects, securing paid assignments to exotic destinations around the world—to gaining media coverage, negotiating, budgeting, billing and employing winning business strategy. Like Patton and DeGaulle, war our cry is L’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
—ALBERT EINSTEIN

The great guru and sensei, the raptor of the Empyrean heights once said, “Expect Nothing, You are the universe IMPORTANT: Please see, read or get the book THE SAMURAI WAY: Spiritual Journeys With A Warrior Photographer by Lloyd and, if you can, see his other published books. Visit the studio website www.harveylloyd.com. Send an e-mail to atelierhl@aol.com with your comments on the website and the imagery. Your perception and understanding of the images, essays and books will influence the process of selection. No attachments please Paste comments and resume on the e-mail letter.

Our spinning planet displays dawns and sunsets, cloudscapes, rivers, mountains and oceans which conspire to create vast panoramas of peace, magic and magnificence, like the American Southwest, a unique place of gigantic forces, red rock canyons, and stone parks that exist nowhere else. Beauty is a lady, a lady who must be courted with care, for she is disarming, dangerous and hold’s Pandora’s Box in her bosom. The earth is beautiful and she will rise when she wills, carbon or warming a small issue to a five billion year old world that long ago came to peace with plate tectonics, gigantic vulcanism, boiling seas, and nuclear winters that caused extinctions. We live, love and create here to admire and get over the idea that we are gods ruling the planet or that we can change the earth; she will change, when and if she wishes. To admire her is to be praised by the gods who first make mad those who would rule with the arrogance of hubris. The eloquence of nature passes beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond the mystery of the human brain which in its mysterious workings and complexity surpasses any creation in the known universe. We are here because evolution, Earth's daughter wanted us here. Huxley wrote, "Mankind is evolution's way of knowing herself." Gaea, the Earth Mother, carries with her the molecular wisdom of five billion years.

What do you desire to accomplish? —a limitless, startling and fresh vision and perception of yourself and the world—a new found unshakable belief in your own talents and abilities; indefatigable intellectual growth, constant joy and achievement; a profound capacity to unravel the world’s mysteries by insight, intuition, no-mind and instinct; immense self-knowledge and confidence; inspiration, jubilation; the energy to seek, to grow and to find your own bliss; a never ending and exuberant desire to celebrate the wonder, enchantment and beauty of life on earth, In Tennyson’s words, “To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths of all the western stars, until I die.”

CREDO: One of the fundamental principles of the samurai code of Bushido is that in your own mind, you are already dead; there is nothing you have to fear. An artist should live and feel the same way. You are not attempting to exist in any state other than living and creating your art. You are not afraid to die unknown as far as recognition of you or your work by the popular world. What others think is of no concern. You create your art come what may. The only thing that matters is the passionate and overwhelming inner aesthetic that drives you on, that makes you feel that this is what I want to do, this is what I believe, this is what I'm going to discover, this is what I'm going to explore; this is the blazing, future. I don't care how dangerous it is. I don't care how enigmatic it is. I've got to go beyond what I've ever done before. I may and will go beyond what most people see or understand at this time. That is the Zen warrior’s and the artist’s code, “the absolute will to die” as I have translated it in my own terms in my books THE SAMURAI WAY and FIRE IN MY HAIR. —Harvey Lloyd

Copyright © Harvey Lloyd 2009


•Compensation: Hourly compesantion according to skills
•Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
•Please, no phone calls about this job!
•Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1589075059

Who is Harvey Anyway?

I had never heard of Harvey Lloyd, and when I read his ad in Craig's list, I really wished I was young again and full of passion and enthusiasm for life, so I could apply for that job and have a real life with my hair on fire. So I looked him up. Here's what I found:

Profile: Harvey Lloyd by Steve Anchell
The Samurai Way

“There’s a wonderful passage in the book, “Zen and the Art of Archery,” where the acolyte asks the master, ‘How do I know when to let the arrow go?’ And the master says, ‘It shoots.’ That’s the way it is when it’s right—in a ten thousandth of a second it shoots. But that ten thousandth of a second has to be the right ten thousandth of a second. And the arrow knows.

“I feel that there is a very close relationship between the samurai and the photographer. The samurai’s life is dependent on an instant of action. In A Book of Five Rings, Go Rin No Sho, the legendary 17th century Samurai, Miyamoto Musashi says, that in strategy ‘you must see distant things as if they were close, and take a distant view of close things. Perception is strong and sight weak. You must be able to see out of both sides of your eyes without moving your eyeballs. You must practice these things all the time.’

“ When I read this, I thought this was very interesting. There couldn’t be a better guide to how you have to see as a photographer. When you are out photographing, there are times when you have a split second to see everything: composition, light and shade, hue, chroma, and saturation; dynamics, symmetry and asymmetry—whatever it is you’re trying to do. When the image is processed, you realize you saw everything, your peripheral vision is that fast. Everything you’re doing is that fast, and if you practice that for 40 years, you get to be pretty good at it.”

Harvey’s latest in a long line of photographic books, The Samurai Way: Spiritual Journeys With a Warrior Photographer, published by Ruder Finn Press, should be available by the time you read this. According to Harvey, “The Samurai Way is a book about Zen philosophy, martial arts philosophy, creative strategy and a lot about the art of seeing. It has many of my images, tales of adventure from all the crazy places I’ve been, and the dangerous moments I’ve experienced. It is a worldwide photographic odyssey that contains my metaphysical and spiritual views, my ideas on creativity and aesthetics.

“ One of the principles of the samurai is that in your own mind, you are already dead; there is nothing you have to fear. An artist should feel the same way: You are not attempting to be alive in any state other than your art. You are not afraid to die as far as the recognition of you by the world. What other people think is of no concern. The only thing that matters is the inner aesthetic that drives you on, that makes you feel. This is what I want to do; this is what I believe; this is what I’m going to uncover; this is what I’m going to explore. I don’t care how dangerous it is. I don’t care how enigmatic it is. I’ve got to go beyond what I’ve ever done before, and may have to go beyond what most people see or understand. That is the absolute will to die as I have translated it in my own terms in The Samurai Way.”

Danger lurks everywhere when photographing on location. While hovering low over Hubbard Glacier in Alaska, Harvey looked down at the towering ice pinnacles and black crevasses and shouted to the pilot, “Brent, what happens if we lose power here?” Brent answered, “Not to worry Harvey, we helicopter pilots in Alaska have a saying, ‘Lots of altitude, lots of scream time. Down here, short scream time.’”

Like many great photographers, Harvey began his career as a graphic designer. Graduating from a six-month design course at the Cooper Union Brooklyn adjunct, he was soon operating his own company, Graphic Arts Center. Within two years GAC went to 80 employees. Harvey decided to go it alone; giving his share of the company to his two partners, he began his own promotional agency.

Around this time Harvey met the man that would change his life and his way of viewing the world, Alexei Brodovitch. A Russian émigré, Brodovitch was an extraordinary genius and the art director of Harper’s Bazaar during its golden years. He influenced many of the finest photographers of the 20th century through his workshops. Richard Avedon, Irving Penn, Hiro, Pete Turner and many others participated and grew under his tutelage.

Harvey says, “I got to know him, took care of his workshops, spent a lot of time with him, and learned there is no way you are ever going to reach the limits of the excellence that you seek.

“ Brodovitch would never talk about technique, about equipment; the only thing he would talk about was the mind behind the camera. His motto was, ‘Tonnez moi!’ which means ‘Astonish Me!’ And this is what he expected of everyone.”

Harvey began studying graphic design with Brodovitch and soon found himself in love with photography. He made shows using images and music. Brodovitch encouraged him (he always knew what you were best at even before you did). Harvey sold his business and went to London to become a photographer.

“ I took my cameras and portfolio and went to see Camera Press, a photojournalism agency. I saw the head guy and said, ‘I want to be a photographer.’ He looked at my work and said, ‘Young man, go find another profession.’

“ So I went from there to Black Star, and the director liked my work. I began shooting photojournalism in London for the Sunday magazines. I spent about a year there, and then came back to New York because I felt London was too sedate. The only place where ‘can-do’ is the mega-word is America. Anywhere else people think there are things you can’t do, and I never believed that. If there is anything you want to do, you go out and do it—you can do it. So I came back to America and started working.

“ My first client was Opera News. I had the pleasure of photographing the Metropolitan Opera rehearsals. I met the Italian film director, Federico Fellini when I was shooting for The Saturday Evening Post. I asked him, ‘Mr. Fellini, how important is the imagery in your pictures?’ He replied, ‘That’s everything, that’s everything.’”

Harvey had become a full-fledged photojournalist when he realized the big magazines were dead. “You go out and risk your life to cover a big story such as civil rights in the South, and they run two or three pictures, and not the ones you would have picked. So I opened a big production studio. The first place I opened was called Harvey Lloyd Productions, and we did big multi-screen, multimedia shows.

“ The guys and gals working for me were growing grass in the studio until I made them stop. It was those days—Electric Circus, The Grateful Dead—all that kind of music and imagery I was putting into shows for clients—very experimental. We had video installations of all kinds. I was having a ball, but the thing was much too big. At one point I had about 25 people and a huge studio on Fifth Avenue in the days when you could afford one.”

Then Harvey received an offer from the U.S. Information Agency (USIA) to travel to places around the world to produce a slide show with images and sound for the United Nations Conference on the Human Environment. The object was to show how people of the world lived.

“ I knew this was going to cost me the studio. I sensed it because they had very little budget, and I had a big overhead. I thought, either I do this or I keep doing what I’m doing. So I said, to hell with that, I want to see the world.

“ I went out, shot around the world and thought, this is the way to live.”

Another major change in his life occurred when he was called to do an assignment for the Royal Viking Cruise Line. The cruise line had seen some of the aerial photography work Harvey had done for Boeing and Kuwait Airways.

“ I created a campaign for them that became the pattern for the cruise industry, showing cruise ships in fantastic locations rather than showing the ships as hardware. That started me working for all of the major luxury cruise lines.

“ I traveled about a million and a half miles with my companion Shirlee Price, and visited close to 100 countries, or at least 100 ports-of-call, which is the title of the book, Voyages, The Romance of Cruising: The World’s 100 Most Exciting Ports of Call, which was published in 1999.”

In addition to his commercial work, Harvey was pursuing his personal projects because, “The art of photography is the only thing that concerns me.” For the last 20 years he has been photographing Alphabet City on the Lower East Side, Avenues A, B, C and D. “It went from being bombed-out, drug-ridden, crime-ridden—Upper Bronx in the old days is what it looked like—it was dangerous as hell—and now it’s becoming Yuppieville with high rent condos.

“ I covered that whole transition including extraordinary wall graffiti paintings by an artist named Chico, most of them memorials to dead kids or adults who overdosed or got shot. I was photographing those one day when a man walked up to me and said, ‘Hey, whaddaya doin’ here?’ I said, ‘I’m working on a book about Loisaida.’ That’s what they call the area. He said, ‘Oh yeah, last week a guy was shot doing what you’re doing.’”

Harvey’s personal work takes him further than The City, to the Southwest, where he has photographed the landscapes of Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Utah from the air for a book titled, Sacred Lands of the Southwest. The images in Sacred Lands include the ruins of the Anazasi, Canyon de Chelly, Chaco Canyon, Mesa Verde, Monument Valley, and most of the area’s National Parks.

He then did a book, Isles of Eden, on the outer islands of the Bahamas to record and help preserve a way of life that was dying out. The people’s kindness, dignity and folk wisdom enriched his own life. The island kids go off to Nassau and Paradise Island for the work and action.

While photographing at Point Lobos in California, the nature reserve where the Westons, Ansel Adams, Wynn Bullock, Henry Gilpin and other West Coast photographers have photographed, Harvey met Ansel Adams. “I chatted with him a bit, he was in the last few months of his life. I said, ‘Mr. Adams, I’ve long admired your work, I learned black-and-white photography by reading your books.’ I told him I had come to Point Lobos a number of times to walk the rocks and wander in the coves and see the last stands of Monterey Cypress. There was a pause and Mr. Adams looked up from under his big hat and said, ‘How I envy you.’

“ I realized he was no longer able to go out and photograph like he used to, he was too weak, he was dying of emphysema, and to him what I was doing was the life he no longer had. Riches and fame meant nothing to him. The only thing that mattered was that if you can’t work as an artist, you’re dead.

“ Photography has changed enormously in the last 10 or 15 years. I spent many years in the darkroom doing black-and-white developing and printing, later on color printing, but that’s all finished now. My Canon EOS 1DS digital cameras, Photoshop and Epson printers do it. The Epson 2200 prints are like nothing I’ve ever seen from film labs in the old days.

“ I do photography almost every day because if you don’t practice constantly, you’re going to get rusty. The art of photography has been my obsession all of my life. I have tried to do less purely commercial work and tried to make my income purely by what I love, photographing what I love.

“ If I don’t go out at least a couple of days a week, I will not maintain the proficiency I have.

“ Having met Alexei Brodovitch I do not accept anything less than trying to be the best in the world. Certainly, the kind of aerial photography I was doing nobody has ever done better and nobody ever will. But that’s just a departure point. If you don’t think you’re the best, if you don’t aim for the stars, what the hell are you doing it for?

“ My belief is similar to Ansel’s, the affirmation of being alive in this beautiful world and the good fortune of being in one of the few countries where there are enough riches and freedom to enable artists to do whatever they want to do. My attitude is one of endless optimism and exuberance and joy and glory in the world.”

To see more of Harvey Lloyd’s worldwide and personal photography and to read “The Art of Seeing,” visit Harvey Lloyd.com.
Source:
Rangefinder Magazine
December 2004
Steve Anchell

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I Think I Love You?

Spike? Xander?
Who knew?


I think I Love you

Spike - I Love that guy!

Ok, I went a little crazy watching and downloading videos of Spike on YouTube. Here they all are in one mega post. I hope all this streaming video doesn't break your computer! Enjoy!


Spike the Ultimate Vampire


Buffy vs Spike


Best Spike Moments


Spike's Speech About Angel


Spike singing my way


To make you feel my love

Buffy Meets Edward Cullen

I've really been enjoying watching back to back Buffy The Vampire Slayer on DVD, and stumbled onto this silly little merger... Buffy meets Edward Cullen (Twilight). I love it when creative people do stuff like this!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Annoyingly Cool and I'm Jealous

Ok, so this is cool and I'm jealous! Here I am, researching ideas for websites because I'm going to make one for my sister, and, although I personally need another blog like I need another hole in the head, I'm also looking for an idea for a blog, or a site, or something about Reiki since I'm going to be teaching classes soon and it seemed like something I should be doing... plus it keeps me off that silly Vampire Wars game on Facebook.

And what happens? I find this really cute little website called The Hermitage. The art is interesting, the content is intriguing, and check this out! It's my Vardo Van, it's my great fantasy of running away from home and having a cool life!! Only someone else is living it! Two someone elses actually!




Neat huh? But wait... there's more! Remember when I wanted to be Rima the Birdgirl? Well, guess what her name is... yeah! Rima! And she's an artist! Check this out - it's the header she made for her blog... way cooler than the header I have for mine... especially since I have no header just a dumb cartoon picture that I didn't even draw myself even though I'm theoretically an artist.



Oh... and she made this really really neat video too! And I really like it! Some small consolation can be found in that she didn't write the music and is not the singer of the song.



And then there's this animated children's story that her husband? partner? made, which I also like, and also it gives me ideas about art - and makes me wish I had all the time in the world to just get creative and do cool stuff. And also makes me jealous because she has someone to fix flat tires and chop firewood, drive the Vardo, and make neat animated videos... while I... well... I guess my son in law counts as someone who would fix a flat tire but as for the rest of it? Nobody.. Nada.. Zilch.

Orla Wren - The Fish And The Doll from Tui on Vimeo.



But wait... there's still more! This little video uses images from her childhood, and I wonder if she grew up well whereas I grew up badly or if she grew up as badly as I did only managed to do it in a "weller" way than I have been able to... and yes, the video itself is kind of wierd, but I like wierd, and it's cool, and yes, I'm jealous.

Orla Wren - The First Born Daughter Of Water from Tui on Vimeo.

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