Love it!

Too funny!

More fun stuff at Hey It's Me

Love is not a Feeling

I also like this definition of love (from wikipedia). I think it might even be true:

Psychologist Erich Fromm maintained in his book "The art of loving" that love is not merely a feeling but is also actions, and that in fact, the "feeling" of love is superficial in comparison to ones commitment to love via a series of loving actions over time. In this sense, Fromm held that love is ultimately not a feeling at all, but rather is a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, ones self, or many others, over a sustained duration. Fromm also described Love as a conscious choice that in its early stages might originate as an involuntary feeling, but which then later no longer depends on those feelings, but rather depends only on conscious commitment.

More cool stuff about love can be found here: Hey It's Me

All Is For Love

In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:

The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.

When the calamity of time afflicts one limb

The other limbs cannot remain at rest.

If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others

You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."

Source: Wikipedia

More cool quotes and interesting stuff can be found at my new website: Hey It's Me

In Love?

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

~Neil Gaiman

For more cool quotes visit my new website: Way Cool Quotes

But wait! There's more!

But wait, there's more. Not satisfied with what the dictionary had to say about love, I took a trip to wikipedia to see what they had to say about it. Wow! That was a lot of information... Here's their simplest explanation:

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.


In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.


Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.


Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species. People with developmental disorders may have a limited or minimal capability of experiencing love.

Find more stuff about love at my new website: Hey It's Me

Definition of Love

Here's the dictionary definition of love. It's a long list. How interesting that in tennis love means nothing, zero, zilch. How did that come about, I wonder...

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. ( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing.
14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. to have sexual intercourse with.

More fun and interesting stuff about love can be found at my new website: Hey It's Me

What is Love Actually?

So, what is love, anyway... everybody talks about it... we all want it... don't we? I can find quotes, and images, books and lengthy dissertaions about love - how to get it, how to express it, where to find it, where not to find it... but what is love actually? Here's one definition:

I looked up the dictionary definition and came up with a short version that seems true to me. Here it is:

Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment, profoundly tender, a feeling in which you find pleasure and receive great benefit from when you give it, and also when you receive it.

And that's probably why that quote about wierd love sounds so true. How profoundly wonderful it is to find someone whose wierdness is compatible with your own. Wouldn't it right away give you a pleasurable feeling of safety and delight to discover that suddenly you are not alone? And how would you not get attached to that? Of course we love the people whose wierdness is compatible with ours - we love them all the way up until the day we change, or they change... or life splits us apart.

More fun and interesting stuff can be found at my new website: Hey It's Me

Do You Love Me?

There is a book about love, and the different ways we express it and accept it. It's called The 5 Love Languages. I read it several years ago, and found it interesting and helpful. Here's a quickie synopsis of the five languages.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Not sure what yours is? You can take this quickie quiz. Interesting, huh? The first time I read this book, it was pretty clear that I'm one of those Quality Time sort of people, and I thought I had it all figured out. Recently, however, a friend of mine also read the book, and we got into a great discussion about it. And as a result, I'm not so sure that Gary Chapman got it exactly right. I think he's missing a few key components to the whole "I know you love me because..." thing.

For example, what about these?

I Can Count On You
This is the language of you're the soft place I land on when things go awry. I can count on you to back me when the chips are down. You will tell me the truth as you see it. You will listen to me rail about life and tell me to shut up when it's time to stop. And when things are going good - you're right there to enjoy them with me. When I reach for you - I always find you there.

You Know Me
This language is all about knowing who I really am. You don't just see the outer me. You see past all my bullshit and into the deeper me. If you give me a gift, it's something I would actually like. It resonantes. If you hug me or touch me - it's a comfort. If you say to me that you appreciate me - or need me - you say it because it's true not because it's what I want to hear. If you do something practical for me - it never leaves me feeling less than or beholden.

We Can Be Real With Each Other
This language is all about no barriers. I can say what I think, I can be totally and completely honestly me - faults, flaws, and all. I can be vulnerable and raw with you. And you with me. We trust each other because we don't hide what we think, we don't hide from what we don't want to see, we just simply are who we are. Unflinching. I don't scare you. And you don't scare me.

And better yet, what about this one:

You know me, the real me, the raw me, the totally messed up me - and not only do you not run away screaming, you actually stick around because you want to. This one is pretty much self explanatory. And I think it's the one love language that we all respond to. Unconditional acceptance. I don't think it even matters - gifts, words, actions, time, affection... it's all nothing if you can't accept me in the raw... me in the real... me at my core... What if I could be that for everyone I know... what if you could?

More great stuff on my new website: Hey It's Me

The Secret To Lifelong Happiness

I have discovered the secret to lifelong happiness and peace of mind!! How cool is that? Are you curious to know what it is? It's quite simple, actually, here's the step by step tutorial:

1. Move in with a nice, easy to please person who already has a lot of money.
2. Use their money and go on an extended vacation to a tropical island paradise.
3. While you are there, say hello to one of the locals, and next thing you know the two of you will be hanging out together and on the way to becoming very good friends.
4. Make an offering at an ancient temple.
5. Accumulate good karma by being nice to people.
6. When you get home from vacation invite your new friend to come for a visit. The two of you will hit it off and in no time at all you'll be in love and making plans for marriage.
7. Because of your good karma, a mysterious person will leave a magic lamp on your doorstep in the middle of the night.
8. When you find the lamp, keep it safe until you are in a really good mood, and then rub the lamp.
9. A genie will appear and give you three wishes. Isn't that nifty?
10. Wish for peace of mind. (Save the other two wishes for later).
11. You will then be in a permanent state of grace - and lifelong happiness will be yours for the taking.
12. Now, marry your friend from the islands, and when that person is in a really good mood, give them the lamp so they can wish for their own peace of mind... and the two of you will live happily ever after!

I know this to be true because I played the Sims all day yesterday and that's exactly what happened! Here's the back story:

I've been having this urge to play the Sims - which usually means there's an important lesson about life that I can learn from it. So I powered up my game and created a person just like me. And of course, right away I realized that she was going to be a real pain in the ass because I couldn't get her to make friends with anyone. She flat out wasn't interested in talking to people at all... and spent all of her time making sure her 3 cats didn't destroy her house. She didn't have any money, and she couldn't find a job she liked. It was sounding way too familiar!

So, I decided I'd populate my neighborhood with copies of me and see if I'd even like myself if I happened to meet myself on the street. I love social experiments like this... Anyway... she'd never talk to herself when she walked by - and if I made her stop and chat - she'd spend like... I dunno... 2 seconds saying "hi" and then she was out of there.

It was obvious that she was going to die alone and unhappy.

So I decided to try something different. I made a copy of my person and her 3 cats and then I moved her in with a total stranger, a nice, easy to please stranger with money. They hardly spoke and never became friends but now my person had someone to take care of her animals while she went on vacation - and off to the islands she went. Once there, she wanted to learn some of the local customs - so she said hello to one of the locals and they just hit it off. I had never seen my sim person so animated and interested in talking to anyone ever.

When she got home from vacation, their friendship continued, and somehow she accumulated some good karma and the magic lamp showed up on her doorstep. I have no idea how that happened. I suspect it might have something to do with the offering at the ancient temple... I dunno... but whatever it was, she is now in love and permanently happy.

Ok... yeah I know, life is not a sim game... but I'm just saying... all it takes is enough money for a cool vacation.. an offering at an ancient temple... and who knows...

More cool tips on life can be found at my new website: Hey It's Me

Love and Marriage

Do you have questions about love and marriage? I've got the answers right here! Just about anything you want to know about this important issue. I found it in my inbox this morning, it was too fun not to share.


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

• You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
  ~Alan, age 10
• No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
  ~Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

• Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER , by then..
  ~Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

• You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
  ~Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

• Both don't want any more kids.
  ~Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

• Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
  ~Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)
• On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
  ~Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

• I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
  ~Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

• When they're rich.
  ~Pam, age 7
• The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
  ~Curt, age 7
• The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
  ~Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
  ~Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

• There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
  ~Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

• Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck hit her.
  ~Ricky, age 10

More fun stuff at my new website: Hey It's Me

Looking for Opie

Did you ever have a dream that was so cool, so real, and so vivid that not only do you know it "means" something, you'd also like to figure out a way to get back into it and make it come true in your real waking life?

OK so... this post and other cool stuff can be found at my new website, Hey It's Me, which is hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com

About 2 weeks ago, I had one of those. And then a series of events have happened to underscore it, and tonight I'm taking steps to say to the Universe, to tell the powers that be, "Hey - I'm up for it!"

So, here's the dream:

In the dream, I hooked up with Opie, one of the bikers on the Sons of Anarchy. We had great sex, we had real love, and it was so so good! Now, interestingly, my ex-husband (now deceased) and Opie look really a lot alike. Here's something else that's interesting. When Mike (my ex) really began to slide towards the other side, I started to see him in my dreams more and more.

After he died, I began to see him every where I went. On the way to the viewing I saw him about 6 different times. I thought that the viewing would make his passing seem more real to me, but just the opposite happened. Now he doesn't seem dead at all. Often he comes to me in dreams... that feeling of closure I had when the divorce was finalized is gone and it feels to me like we are connected in some deep irredeemable way.

But, back to the dream... no... wait... here are some pictures. The first one is Opie, the second one is my ex.





That being said, back to the dream. Opie and I hooked up, fell in love, had great sex, and then he had some business to take care of and I had to go to work. We decided to go someplace cool over the weekend,and I drove to work. When I parked the car, I saw that there were ripe black blackberries growing just beyond the parking lot. They looked so ripe and so good that I decided to go into "Heavenly Pets" (that's where I was working) and get a bowl to put them in.

This is how good they looked:



So, I go into the shop, and the place is a mess, dog hair everywhere. One of my daughters was there and I said, "We better get this place cleaned up!" But first, I wanted to find a bowl for the blackberries. So, I go outside with the bowl, all ready to have some yummy fruit, and this woman comes charging up to the door with her dog (Heavenly Pets is a dog grooming salon), all pissy and wanting to come in. I said to her, "We don't open until 8 o'clock."

She says, "It's ten after nine!"

And I'm like... Fuck Me! And then, people with dogs started pouring out of cars and mobbing the front door. I gave up on the collecting the fruit idea and went back into the shop only to find that it was now a really horrible mess in there. Dog shit everywhere - piles and piles of it. Dogs running around loose. Dog hair. Dirt. It's chaos and really really gross. My other daughter has decided to pull all the cages out and clean under them. And I'm running around cleaning up shit, and shit, and even more shit! Then, we pull out a cage and underneath it is a dead cow. A whole cow, dessicated and flat, but a cow nonetheless... I'm like... what a bunch of crap! Literally! 10 times worse than this!



Suddenly, I remembered about Opie... and how we were in love, and going to do something cool. So I told everyone (my coworkers) that I was "no longer a virgin" and that I had a cool biker dude... Next thing you know, he shows up. Looking all cute, wearing his "cut," and ready to go. In the picture, (it's really hard to find a good Opie pic) he looks kind of intense, in the dream, he was all smiling and cute.



And I'm thinking... "Damn! How can I leave now, with all this shit to clean up?" I could feel myself beginning to make the decision to stay and clean the never ending piles of shit and death, when I suddenly woke up. Wide awake. Dream so vivid in my mind! And right then and there, I decided that given a choice love vs shit, freedom vs work, cute biker vs dead cow, I'm going for love, freedom, and cute...

I told my daughter about it, and she was sure that I'd never find a biker or a biker type that was anywhere near anyone I'd have anything in common with. But then, I found Shaman Hawk's post about being a Shaman and I'm thinking he has that "biker" look and that "biker" attitude. Not only that, but (like Opie) he had a thing with a porn star... and one of the girls at work who encouraged me that maybe I should go looking for a biker... well, her name is Donna. Which is the name of Opie's dead wife. Coincidences... maybe... signs and portents... also maybe... I dunno.

Anyway, tonight I'm hanging out at bonifide biker bars with my friend Sequoiah. (Another interesting coincidence since Shaman Hawk's girlfriend's name is also Sequioah.) This is my way of making it clear to "the powers that be" that I absolutely choose freedom, love, fun, and cute over work, death, and shit. As Shaman Hawk would say, you "gotta do the pictures."

More weirdness and strange stories can be found on my new website: Hey It's Me

Lost Love

Now that I'm looking for love in all the wrong places - it seems appropriate to post this video:



Virginia O'Brien was truly gifted, watch the various expressions as she sings her trademark song. I love how the terror washes over her face. They don't come like this anymore folks.

How To Look Good When You Are Actually Ugly

Now that I'm out there looking for love, I think it might be a good idea learn know how to look good when you are actually ugly!

Not Giving Up On Love

Check this out - I may have found the dating site that's right for me! I know my man Stan will be disappointed, but let's face it, he just isn't quite what I need. This new dating site promises to be interesting... and I'm sure that I'll be able to find the love of my life!

Created by Mingle2.com

Take a look at this guy! He's kind of cute, don't you think? Isn't that a nice smile? And such big eyes!

Find more fun stuff about looking for love on my new website: Hey It's Me

I Found My Man!

So, today I was researching how to find a mentor for the Prosperity Project and ended up (of all places) on Mail Order Husbands! So, I took their quiz to find my ideal match and this is who I came up with:

Congratulations!

You have completed our survey and our proprietary algorithms have determined that you are a very unique and special individual. We have many high quality bachelors and the one that most perfectly aligns with your spiritual and personal values is listed below.

Stan, (stationed) in Iraq

I got way too much time on my hands over here. I'm on my second tour in Iraq and am supposed to go back in a few months. I'm cool with going to most anywhere afterwards. I'm looking for a traditional type of woman who wants a bunch of kids.

For more hilarious weirdness visit my new website: Hey It's Me

I Think I Love You?

Spike? Xander?
Who knew?


I think I Love you