Saturday, February 21, 2015

Finding My Inner Buddha

Found this quote on Facebook today. And when I first read it, the thought appealed to me. I mean, who wouldn't rather be the lion in the story, right? 

Buddhism, mindfulness, all that stuff appeals to me quite a bit. But I'm never able to actually embrace the whole of it because when I look too closely at the teachings, the writings of Milarepa, for example, I see rules, judgment, and dogma. Right away, I'm wanting to break the rules, and poke at the status quo.

Yes, I agree that we all take life on earth way too seriously, and I love the idea that it's all a grand illusion, that we are merely actors on a stage, taking on different roles. Sure, I can go there. I actually believe it. But hey, if I'm going to be an actor in this bone chilling, skin wrenching, heart clenching, mind blowing show called ShirleyTwofeathers, I want to be in it all the way. I want to feel it, to taste it, and grab onto it just as desperately and determinedly as I am to avoid it completely. 

I guess that's why hiding in a cave in the Himalayas, owning nothing, responsible for nothing, doing nothing, being nothing, eyes fixed and vacant, totally detached from everything and everyone, sounds so appealing to me. Enlightenment, yogi style, is the ultimate escape from living my real life.

But that's not what I came here to do. That's not who I want to be. And it's not who I am right now. And so I give up my dream of being an enlightened and scary lion. I will continue chasing the sticks my mind throws... and running around crazy with them... chewing them... shredding them all over the carpet... then asking for one more time... one more time... one more time... until finally and at last I fall asleep, stick still in my mouth, smelling like wet dog and dead wood.

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