My Ecology Rant for the New Year

So, I've been watching Public Television recently... and I saw this show about the glaciers in Greenland, and how they are melting faster than anyone thought possible. It was really interesting and I started to feel really bad about the ways I contribute personally to global warming. The biggest thing being the burn pile... which is where all my trash goes. (The why's and wherefore's of that is a whole other story).

Then, on the heels of that show there was another one about Antarctica and what would happen if all that ice melted... talk about gloom and doom...

I probably could have started to get really depressed and scared about the whole thing, but there was this wonderfully wicked part of me that was thinking how cool it would be if suddenly the polar ice caps did melt and the world was totally reshaped. It would be so exciting and dramatic - like a disaster movie - only for real!

I don't know if other people have that small core of wickedness.. but it's the same thing that compells me to want to drop everything and watch whenever a plane flies overhead... and then be mildly disappointed when it didn't drop out of the sky in flames... My dad would probably say it's the Devil in me, and I don't know, maybe he's right... nevertheless, whatever it is, I have it. And let's face it - I'm probably not a "good person."

Anyway - then I watched a movie called "Bag It." It was a documentary about plastic bags, plastic, and our ridiculous notion that we should make a gagillion disposable bags, wrappers, and containers out of a non renewable substance that will last virtually forever in the environment... Here's a trailer for the movie:



So I watched it, and then I did get depressed - and angry too. Seeing whales beached and dead because their stomachs were full of plastic bags... birds feeding plastic to their babies because it was floating in the ocean and looked like food... And then there's this whole thing about great swirling "isalnds" of trash in the ocean - take a look at this really interesting and cool graphic Through The Gyre after you watch this video:

The wicked part of me was not at all titillated... and I was starting to think that maybe I should do something about it... actually, the wicked angry part of me wanted to walk into the boardrooms of those giant corporations who care more about money than they do about nature and blow their brains all over the boardroom floor...

But... I don't have a gun... and well... I'd have to get dressed and get into my car... and figure out where those boardrooms are... find my way into them...get past security... and then there would be the screaming.. and the blood... probably a lot more cool in a movie than in person... not to mention the life in prison ordeal and having to eat crappy prison food... deal with other inmates... mean bitches way more wicked than me... the whole thing just seemed... well... like way too much work... Plus there's this other thing annoyingly true thing:  if we - the consumers - weren't buying what they were selling - that would be the end of it! Interesting how easy it is to blame the faceless "others" when it's really myself who holds at least some responsibility.

And then I hit on the ideal solution! Global warming! I just need to help Antarctica melt in a hurry - and ta da! Problem solved.

The planet could get really warm - people could die off in huge numbers - those that remain would learn a really good lesson about ecology and fossil fuels - all those gagillion bits of plastic would eventually be assimilated somehow -  and yes - I'm sorry about the polar bears and the penguins - but let's face it - some things have to be sacrificed for the greater good!

So... here's my plan. No more plastic bags from the store - and no more plastic bottles of water. At least - not if I can help it. And whatever plastic I end up with... well... hey! I'm going to burn it in my burn pile and pray for the Arctic ice to melt in a hurry... it'll be my sacrifice - my prayer - my ritual to the God of Global Warming. And if nothing else, I can have the comfort of knowing that none MY plastic bags will end up here: