You Know You've Watched Too Many Vampire Shows When

You know you've watched too many vampire shows when you are walking through a veterinary clinic and happen to see an IV bag full of blood on the counter, and your first thought is, "Yummy!"

And guess what? I did that just yesterday. So it really does look like I've been watching too many vampire shows. How many is too many? Here's the list:

First I watched the entire 7 seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" back to back. Every single night it was 3 episodes of Buffy. Then I rented every single vampire movie I could find at my little video store. I watched "Twilight" and "New Moon" with my granddaughter, (very high school - I can see why she likes it). Then I worked my way through "Moonlight," a fluffy little series, but not too bad. And now I've started in on "Blood Ties" which is actually pretty good. And as soon as the second season of "True Blood" comes out I'll be biting into that one.

Not only that, I've been playing Vampire Wars on Facebook, and having wonderfully satisfying fantasies about when I am a vampire who will I kill. So, it's been vampires on my mind pretty much for several months now.

And then, I open my email this morning only to find out that I'm dead. Or, more accurately one of the living dead, or possibly an even better description would be that I have joined the ranks of the undead, which is quite similar to but not the same as the not dead.

The not quite "normal and sane" part of me is hoping that I'll somehow manage to become a real vampire - maybe by osmosis - so that I can be forever cool and dangerous. Instead of what I actually am, which is ... well... not cool and not dangerous... and I just want my life to be ... well... more interesting!

So, do you suppose that's possible? To become a vampire, I mean? Maybe all these vampire movies could actually begin work on my DNA. The Hawaiian Kahunas believe that you are what you think about! And if that did happen would I miss the sun? Would I be sorry later? And what if it turned out that I was just as uncool and not dangerous in the vampire world as I am in the real world? And what if I really am cool and dangerous, right here, right now, today, I just don't know it? And why do I want to be dangerous anyway?