Monday, March 5, 2012
In Love?
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 10:28 AM 0 comments
Labels: Looking For Love, quotes I love
But wait! There's more!
But wait, there's more. Not satisfied with what the dictionary had to say about love, I took a trip to wikipedia to see what they had to say about it. Wow! That was a lot of information... Here's their simplest explanation:
In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.
Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species. People with developmental disorders may have a limited or minimal capability of experiencing love.
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 10:20 AM 0 comments
Labels: Looking For Love
Definition of Love
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- sexual passion or desire.
- a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
- (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
- a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
- sexual intercourse; copulation.
- ( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
- affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
- strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
- the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
- the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
- Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing.
- a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
- to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
- to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
- to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
- to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
- to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
- to have sexual intercourse with.
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 10:16 AM 0 comments
Labels: Looking For Love
What is Love Actually?
So, what is love, anyway... everybody talks about it... we all want it... don't we? I can find quotes, and images, books and lengthy dissertaions about love - how to get it, how to express it, where to find it, where not to find it... but what is love actually? Here's one definition:
I looked up the dictionary definition and came up with a short version that seems true to me. Here it is:
Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment, profoundly tender, a feeling in which you find pleasure and receive great benefit from when you give it, and also when you receive it.
And that's probably why that quote about wierd love sounds so true. How profoundly wonderful it is to find someone whose wierdness is compatible with your own. Wouldn't it right away give you a pleasurable feeling of safety and delight to discover that suddenly you are not alone? And how would you not get attached to that? Of course we love the people whose wierdness is compatible with ours - we love them all the way up until the day we change, or they change... or life splits us apart.
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 10:14 AM 3 comments
Labels: Looking For Love, quotes I love
Do You Love Me?
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Not sure what yours is? You can take this quickie quiz. Interesting, huh? The first time I read this book, it was pretty clear that I'm one of those Quality Time sort of people, and I thought I had it all figured out. Recently, however, a friend of mine also read the book, and we got into a great discussion about it. And as a result, I'm not so sure that Gary Chapman got it exactly right. I think he's missing a few key components to the whole "I know you love me because..." thing.
For example, what about these?
I Can Count On You
This is the language of you're the soft place I land on when things go awry. I can count on you to back me when the chips are down. You will tell me the truth as you see it. You will listen to me rail about life and tell me to shut up when it's time to stop. And when things are going good - you're right there to enjoy them with me. When I reach for you - I always find you there.
You Know Me
This language is all about knowing who I really am. You don't just see the outer me. You see past all my bullshit and into the deeper me. If you give me a gift, it's something I would actually like. It resonantes. If you hug me or touch me - it's a comfort. If you say to me that you appreciate me - or need me - you say it because it's true not because it's what I want to hear. If you do something practical for me - it never leaves me feeling less than or beholden.
We Can Be Real With Each Other
This language is all about no barriers. I can say what I think, I can be totally and completely honestly me - faults, flaws, and all. I can be vulnerable and raw with you. And you with me. We trust each other because we don't hide what we think, we don't hide from what we don't want to see, we just simply are who we are. Unflinching. I don't scare you. And you don't scare me.
And better yet, what about this one:
You know me, the real me, the raw me, the totally messed up me - and not only do you not run away screaming, you actually stick around because you want to. This one is pretty much self explanatory. And I think it's the one love language that we all respond to. Unconditional acceptance. I don't think it even matters - gifts, words, actions, time, affection... it's all nothing if you can't accept me in the raw... me in the real... me at my core... What if I could be that for everyone I know... what if you could?
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 9:19 AM 0 comments
Labels: lists I like, Looking For Love
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Four Kinds Of People
- Rule Makers
Basically, a rule maker likes to tell other people what to do, and does best when surrounded by rule followers. Rule makers are pretty easy to spot. I'm sure you know at least one or two. - Rule Followers
The world is full of rule followers. And it's a good thing that most people are willing to follow most of the rules - otherwise there would be chaos, and life would be a lot more scary than it already is. - Rule Breakers and Benders
Not all rule breakers are criminals and bad guys. Many of them are freedom fighters and activists. Think about it - women's rights? civil rights? gay rights? Rule breaking at it's best! - Rules? Really? I didn't know there were rules.
You gotta love these guys! Innovators.... fools... dreamers... idiots... geniuses... They fly kites during thunderstorms... Do you think it's true that what you don't know can't hurt you?
Good questions, huh?
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 3:19 PM 0 comments
Labels: food for thought, lists I like
Amtrak Travel Tips
I recently traveled to Texas via Amtrak, and I have to say it turned out to be quite a learning experience on many different levels. Here's what I learned about train travel in general:
It really does matter where you sit. And here's why:
If the train is going north, and you are sitting on the east side of the train, you might as well forget about looking out the window and enjoying the sights because the sun will be glaring in your eyes for at least half the day. I know, because my train was going south and I was sitting on the west side of the train, and I finally had to move because I couldn't stand it any more.
And if you do change seats, pay attention. Don't sit directly across from Jehovah Witnesses unless you enjoy stupid religious bullshit. They cannot keep their mouths shut! And even if they aren't talking to you - they will be talking to the people in front of you, behind you, next to you, and three seats over from you... I know this to be true because it happened to me.
Don't forget your MP3 player. Don't forget batteries for your MP3 player. And above all, don't forget where you stashed it. Also, it can't hurt to invest in some good ear plugs just in case the above happens and you end up stuck sitting in the midst of a cluster of people who are talking endlessly and mindlessly about stuff you think is incredibly stupid..
If you don't like the people sitting around you, and if there are empty seats but you don't want to have to go to the trouble to move your stuff... you can always do the following:
- Borrow a crying baby from a frazzled young mom. She'll be happy for the relief - believe me! And it will clear out your area in no time. Even the sight of a baby and/or small children has the effect of clearing out an area... unless the children are attached to a young mom (or dad) traveling alone. If the mom or dad is eye candy - or black - or both... next thing you know there will be an extended family surrounding them... more on that later...
- Can't find a baby? Pop your ear buds in, turn on your MP3 player and start singing (loudly) to the music. This works best if you are tone deaf and have a terrible voice. People will fall all over themselves to get away from you! Trust me.. it's true!
Right away I noticed that people who look the same tend to sit together and talk to each other. Middle-aged fat men who smoke hung out with other middle-aged fat men who smoked. They swapped cigarettes and bullshit on the smoke breaks. Nobody else wanted anything to do with them... it was kind of sad really...
Well preserved, well manicured old people tend to travel in packs... or at the very least pairs. Most of the ones I saw traveled first class, and spent a lot of time complaining about the "service." Grandmotherly ladies (less well preserved) were most often seen in pairs, and generally seemed to like their travel adventure. When they were not traveling first class, they appeared to enjoy their trip much more...
And here is something else I noticed. White people (unless they were religious nuts) pretty much only talked to white people. White couples (with and without children) were extremely unlikely to talk to anyone other than each other - it was almost as if no one else existed except for them. Black people on the other hand, were almost instantly friendly with one another. Sharing food, watching each other's children, laughing, joking, passing out phone numbers, addresses, and invitations to visit...
Now... if you are a young black man, and you'd like to meet women. Ride the train. I'm telling you - it's a sure fire way to get hit on. I didn't see a single exception to that rule on my entire trip - and it was a long trip (6 days total) ... Young black men on a train are girl magnets. White girls, black girls, asian girls... girls with pink hair and tattoos... girls with children... fat girls... skinny girls... even girls traveling with guy friends... young black men traveling with small children will also attract motherly women who will offer to babysit during smoke breaks and layovers... fascinating...
If you are young, a guy, white, and a redneck... well... that's a whole different story. Chances are you talk too loud, you just broke up with your girlfriend, and your cell phone has a really annoying ringtone which is set way too loud, and is constantly alerting you to stupid texts from (or about) the ex girlfriend. Not only that, but you will talk to anyone ... even people who are studiously avoiding eye contact and trying hard to get away from you (because they are sick of hearing about your girlfriend). And, when you run out of people to tell your story too... chances are good that you will sing loudly and off key while listening to "she done me wrong" songs on your phone or MP3 player.
Another thing to be on the look out for is disheveled old ladies - the not well manicured types - they never travel first class and pretty much will talk to anyone... about anything... and you can definitely spot them by the pinwheels spinning in their eyes. Crazy old ladies ride the train - yes - it's true.
Interestingly... and here is one of my great insights. If you don't fit into any of the above categories... and people can't quite tell "who" you are, or what you're about... they will pretty much leave you alone. And if you don't smile at people who have just boarded and are looking for a place to sit, but instead shoot daggers out of your eyes at them... well... they'll try really really hard to find someplace else to sit.
And here's another thing: Don't piss off the Conductor.
The conductor for part of my trip was this cute little hispanic dude named Jesus. Which I found interesting when placed in context with the reason for my trip, and my Jehovah Witness encounter... but that's a whole other story.
Anyway... somebody, I don't know who... but I'm sure it was a man, was having a really hard time not pissing all over everything in the bathroom. And yes, the train does sway and jump around a bit.. but... on the walls as well as on the floor? come on... that was just nasty. Plus, there was someone who couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet... or didn't want to... or something. And Jesus was quite annoyed because I think he was the one having to clean up the mess... and probably the persnickety retirees were throwing a bitch fit about just about everything else... and so he gave everyone a talk about "Good Grief... you can at least flush the toilet and clean up after yourself..."
Our punishment? He didn't pass out pillows when it got to be late and time to sleep, nor did he turn off the overhead lights at 11pm as usual but left them on several hours longer... and to top it off... our particular section hooked up to a different train at one point, and instead of turning our seats around, we had to ride backwards for upwards of 3 hours. I think he was going to make us take the whole 10 hr trip backwards, but one of the young black men (and his bevy of brand new girlfriends) knew how to turn the seats around, and so we did it ourselves.
And by the way... It's very disconcerting to ride a train sitting backwards... your mind plays tricks on you. And even if you know for sure that you are actually traveling in the right direction, the fact that the scenery is moving the opposite way it "should" be, tells your brain that you are going the wrong way. And if you're me, pretty soon you're playing the "what-if" game... What if I really am on the wrong train? What if we really are going backwards? What if I fall asleep and wake up in New Orleans instead of San Antonio? And is the train really going backwards? What if it isn't? What if I'm actually not traveling backwards? What if I'm even really on a train at all?
Which brings me to the last thing I learned about traveling on trains. And this may not be true for everyone, but it was true for me. And that is this:
When you crawl out from under your rock, climb out of your familiar box, or leave the confines of your hidey hole... you will come face to face with that cowardly part of yourself that hid under that rock or in that hole in the first place. I know this is true because it happened to me... and I'll probably write more about that later.... but for now, I'll leave you with this thought:
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 2:21 PM 0 comments
Labels: life on earth
Places Everyone Goes
- I have been in many places, but I've rarely been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
- I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
- I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a short drive.
- I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
- I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
- I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
- And while I'd like to be in Fallible, I find myself in Ept and in Adequate more often than not.
- I do, however, get quite a lot of work done when I am in Dustrious.
- Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
- One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
- And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.
- People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!
- I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there.
- So far, I haven't been in Continent; but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.
Ok. I better stop now before I find myself in Tolerable!
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 11:59 AM 0 comments
Labels: lists I like, me being dumb
Monday, February 6, 2012
My Unitarian Jihad Name!!
Inspired by Jon Carroll's column in the Chronicle, and after reasoned and lengthy discussion, the committee reached a consensus that you should be called:
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 1:41 PM 0 comments
Labels: something fun
Secret To Immortality
If you are what you eat - and you want to live forever - then eat McDonalds hamburgers. They never decompose!
This video shows a true story about a guy who's been saving hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and Big Macs from McDonalds for over 18 years... and they look EXACTLY the same! Check it out - they haven’t decomposed in over two decades!
Visit Bionic Burger or The Best Day Ever for more information. And if you don't believe it, here's another video:
She's been photographing it regularly ever since. After 6 Months there was very little sign of decay.
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 1:21 PM 0 comments
Labels: FYI, health and healing, life on earth, videos I like
Sunday, February 5, 2012
A Video History of the Ninja
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 6:39 PM 0 comments
Labels: Ninjas, this is interesting, videos I like
How To Spot A Ninja
Ninjas are masters at the art of being invisible. Here's a perfect example:
Above is an artist's depiction of a fruit bowl. It was only when he looked at his finished painting that he realized a ninja was hiding in front of him the whole time.
- Behind you
- In front of you
- Near you
- Around you...
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 5:37 PM 1 comments
Labels: funny stuff, Ninjas
What is a Ninja?
If so, HE'S BEHIND YOU, YOU IDIO- ahh, damn.
Too late again.
Ninja (zool. cut-throatius ninjutsu-useis head-rippus-offis assassinus Japanensis) (pl. ninji) is the common Japanese term for a group of intentionally badass martial artists with a complete dominion over all things totally sweet who specialize in killing people, flying, and burger/pizza/magazine delivery, which they do 24/7, and have also been known to mysteriously show up several hours before the burger/pizza/magazine was even ordered, with your condiments....
... I am so sorry to do this to you, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, and can be found in its entirety here: What is a Ninja?
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 5:07 PM 0 comments
Labels: funny stuff, Ninjas
My New Favorite Movie
I absolutely adore this movie! The special effects are hilarious - it's clever - has a great plot twist - and while the movie absolutely refuses to take itself seriously, it does manage to have depth and layers of meaning.
Here's what Wikipedia says about it:
Norwegian Ninja
The film is loosely based on the story of Norwegian politician and diplomat Arne Treholt, who in 1985 was convicted of high treason and espionage on behalf of the Soviet Union and Iraq. In 2006, Thomas Cappelen Malling wrote the book Ninjateknikk II. Usynlighet i strid 1978 ("Ninja Technique II: Invisibility in combat 1978"). The book was presented as a military manual written by Treholt in 1978. It achieved a certain cult status, and was considered a success at 5,000 units sold.
In December 2008 it was announced that the Norwegian Film Institute would support a film made by Cappelen Malling with NOK 10.5 million, in spite of the fact that the author had no previous experience from the movie industry. The book forms the basis for the film, where an alternative universe-Treholt leads a group of ninjas set up by then - King Olav V to combat the Soviets. The original working title was Nytt norsk håp ("New Norwegian Hope"), and the total budget was NOK 19 million. The producers describe the story as taking place directly before Treholt's arrest in 1984, presenting "the true story of how Commander Arne Treholt and his Ninja Force saved Norway during the Cold War." Cappelen Malling himself describes the film as "alternative history", but only in the sense that all history is alternative. Treholt himself has allegedly given his consent to both the book and the movie.
The absurd premise of the film secured a great deal of media attention for it ahead of its release. Aftenposten, in January 2010, predicted it would be one of the most absurd works of Norwegian cinema. Verdens Gang quoted producer Eric Vogel, saying "Something like this has never been made in Norway before. Or in the world, as far as I know!" They also interviewed Mads Ousdal, who portrayed Treholt in the film, describing the role as very different from anything he had done previously. Comedian Trond Viggo Torgersen played the part of King Olav V.
Although the movie was not a big box-office success, it did receive some very good reviews. J.S. Marcus of Wall Street Journal: "Hilarious and menacing, absurd and insightful, and an accomplished work of genre film making that authoritatively upends the cold-war spy thriller."
Find it on Amazon: Norwegian Ninja
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 4:09 PM 0 comments
Labels: Ninjas, stuff I love, videos I like
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Art Of Doing Nothing Productive
Actually, the name of this post should read "The Art Of Doing Nothing Productive While Seeming To Be Productive Especially When There Are A Bunch of Actual Productive Things You Could Be Doing But Don't Want To Do So You Found This Other Seemingly Productive Activity To Occupy Your Time."
Here's how it works (for me, anyway):
I usually start off with an ambitious plan to get a bunch of things accomplished. Today, for example, the plan was as follows:
- Go to the grocery store, and buy groceries - since I have no food in the house.
- Pay my 2010 property taxes and maybe even the 2011 tax bill too. Or is it the 2009 and 2010 tax bills... I can't remember... 2 years overdue? 3 years?
- Call Sprint and cancel my phone service - which I have just 1 day to do before I get charged for another month.
- Text or call everyone who needs to know my new phone number.
- Clean the litter boxes - ok that one needs to wait until after the visit to the store - if it ever happens.
- Do something with the 2 year old christmas tree I still haven't done anything with (and no it's not a fake christmas tree - it is, howver quite dead) .
- Work on Gypsy Magic, Cafe Press, Mandala Madness... or some other website or blog I'm way behind on.
- Do the dishes and fix a nice meal with all those good groceries I theoretically just got.
Today, however, I told myself this story about how it would be proactive - and organized - and productive - to methodically go through all of it - discarding, sorting, answering, and freaking out (whichever was appropriate) . Three hours later... I am down to 764 unread emails and thinking of ways to avoid going to the store and doing all that other shit because now I "don't have time." Especially since it's almost noon and I have someplace I need to be at... let me see... 7:30 pm.
And now I'm having all this anxiety because I'm feeling like I'm up against the wall of "what I don't want to do that I have to do" and the more I have to do it, the less I want to... and I'm thinking that maybe my totem animal is a MULE! A stringy old balky one at that... maybe even one that bites!
So, here I am talking about pretty much nothing - as if it's actually something - when really it's just more "Doing Nothing Productive While Seeming To Be Productive Especially When There Are A Bunch of Actual Productive Things You Could Be Doing But Don't Want To Do So You Found This Other Seeminly Productive Activity To Occupy Your Time."
And of course, now, it's imperative that I do an exhaustive internet search for pictures of mules to illustrate this blog post because... well... that's just so important!
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 1:18 PM 0 comments
Labels: me being dumb
Monday, January 2, 2012
Finding Gollum
OMG! I must be a really successful ranger! I just found Gollum - and I didn't almost die, nor did I have to go hungry, or kill Orcs, or hang out in an ale house. Turns out he's alive and well, and right here, right now! Don't believe me? Here's a picture:
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 10:13 PM 2 comments
Labels: Lord of the Rings, me being dumb
The Hunt For Gollum
So I went on a search and found the official Hunt For Gollum website, and discovered that I could not only WATCH it on YouTube, I could embed it here so you can see it too! How cool is that?. I figure that I need all the help I can get in finding and releasing my inner Ranger - so hey, I'm watching it now! How cool is that?
Ok... I watched it.
Not bad for an indie film with a really small budget and volunteer actors. I think my favorite thing about the movie was this comment I found on YouTube -
"So, when Gandalf told Frodo 'I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum' what he really meant was 'I sent another guy to look for him and he almost died'."
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 8:50 PM 0 comments
Labels: Lord of the Rings, videos I like
Finding My Inner Ranger
Well, day one of finding my inner Ranger has gone pretty well, I think. I have an idea that this could possibly be the one year when I actually succeed in my quest to "be" who I want to be. But I dunno... it's just the first day. I'm posting a clip from Lord of the Rings to give me some inspiration and some umph... especially when I just want to sit around and eat cookies...
And this post has been moved to my personal blog at shirleytwofeathers.com, and can be found in its entirety here: Finding My Inner Ranger
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 8:32 PM 1 comments
Labels: Lord of the Rings, who I want to be
Saturday, December 31, 2011
It's Not My Fault
I've blogged this before (Gandalf Changed My Life) - but last year I didn't talk about it at all. Which I find interesting. And because of that, I'm not entirely sure what my thoughts were - I do remember that I was pretty damn sure that I was a miserable failure at "being Aragorn." And since I'd failed time and again in my quest to personify the coolest character in the trilogy, I decided to try something totally different.
I decided that I'd give "being Frodo" a go. I had this idea that I would spend the year "taking the ring to Mordor." The ring being a metaphor for my sugar and crap food addiction. The idea being that how could I ever hope to achieve Aragorn if I couldn't even defeat the craving for a cookie.
And this post has been moved to my personal blog at shirleytwofeathers.com - I think it's definitely worth reading all the way through, and if you're interested, you can find it here: It's Not My Fault
Posted by Shirley Twofeathers at 5:08 PM 1 comments
Labels: Lord of the Rings, who I want to be


















