Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire

I am reading The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra. The book came to me in a synchronistic way, and is spontaneously giving me clues to finding answers to questions that I have been mulling over and struggling with for months now.

He says: "People who have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning to go to a job they hate, who find it difficult to become engaged in their professional activities, who feel emotionally 'dead' after a day at the office, need to pay attention to those feelings. These are important signals that there must be a way to get more fulfillment out of life. Perhaps a miracle lies in the wings. You'll never know unless you form an intention, become sensitive to the clues from the universe, follow the chain of coincidence, and help create the destiny you most desire."

Now, I don't hate my job - but I don't love it either. As broke as I am, I cannot force myself to work more hours even when they are available, I do find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and I do feel emotionally 'dead' just about all the time. I keep myself pretty well anesthetized. My greatest pleasures come from being involved in creative projects and my biggest disappointments come when those projects don't grow into self sufficiency.

He goes on to say: "Of course, life can be difficult, and we each have daily chores, responsibilities, and obligations that can become overwhelming. Coincidences may come flying at you from all directions, or they may seem to dry up entirely."

So true. What does he say to do about that?

• Take five minutes every day and just sit in silence.
• Ask yourself a few questions.
• Who am I?
• What do I want for my life?
• What do I want from my life today?
• Let yourself go and let your inner voice supply the answers.
• Write those answers down.
• Do this every day.

When I did that, and didn't write anything down, nothing much happened. When I went ahead and wrote the answers down, it seemed to work better. Somehow, the process of writing it down opens up (at least for me) areas that my mind passes over.

This is what I came up with today:

• I don't know who I am because I'm afraid to know because I'm afraid that I will not be able to live up to it.
• What I want from my life is peace within and interesting challenges without, I want friends and companions. I want to be in a space where I can share what I know, where I can share my heart and my "knowings" in a way that is helpful and inspiring to others. I want the freedom to be creative. And I want what I create to be appreciated and loved.
• For today, I want to get "organized", I want to feel that I have "handle" on chaos, a road map, or a good "beginning" point for the rest of my week.