Sunday, June 7, 2009

Everything I Know About Life I Learned From My Cock


  • When you’re up, everyone needs to hear about it
  • Don’t let anyone tell you where you can and can’t pee
  • Fuck everything
  • Every once in a while, you may have to eat some shit
  • Don’t get near any other cocks, and don’t let them get near you
  • It doesn’t matter how big you are, just how loud you are
  • Know the pecking order
  • They want you, they all want you, you know they want you
  • Just because nobody’s listening, it’s no reason to shut up
  • The only thing you have to know about sex is “yes”
  • Subtlety gets you nowhere
  • Brains are overrated
  • Everywhere you look, there’s something edible

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