I would be happier if

Ok, so today you are all in for another installment of the never ending "I would be happier if..." series.

I am healthy and I would be happier if my body wasn't covered with fat, and if I didn't have heartburn, and if I knew I was getting plenty of exercise and fresh air. I would be happier if I ate healthier food, if I had compassion and love for my digestive system, if I gave my physical self the care and the quality upkeep and maintenance that she deserves. I would feel better. And I would be happier.

Is this really true?
Yes! I think so. And if it's true, then why don't I do something about it? Why don't I at least make a stab at the cleansing fast that Daniel has actually done and that I haven't even tried to do? Why do I continue to buy my "groceries" at the local gas station?

Don't I want to be happy? Don't I want to take better care of Shirley? I can't even be nice enough NOT to post a picture of a donkey munching in a refrigerator. It looks too much like how I feel about me! So why don't I do something about it?

I don't get it...

Interestingly, I can't even find a current picture of myself to upload here. So, what's up with that? I went on an internet search for "fat" pictures to post instead, and came up with this awesome picture of someone named Teresina:

Wow! I love her outfit! She looks very powerful, doesn't she. Like a barbarian fertility goddess or something. I wonder if she hated her body, or if she liked pushing her "weight" around. I wonder if she avoided mirrors or not, and did she have lovers and suitors, and did she enjoy her life and if not why not, and if so... why?

And no, I'm not that fat, although I'm afraid that it could happen to me. And if I was that fat, I would be hiding in my bedroom, every mirror in the house would be disappeared, and nobody would have a picture of me ever! I wonder what it would be like to have a figure like Teresina... and at the same time to feel really good about yourself... confident... and beautiful. Willing to pose for a photographer wearing my best furs. I wonder how that would feel. I bet if I felt that good about myself, I'd be eating better - eating less - exercising more - going outside - and feeling happier.