Moving To The Beach

The other day, my mom was telling me about Port Aransas Texas. It's a place she and my dad (when he was still here) loved to visit when they wanted some rest and recreation. Ever since she told me about it, that poem by Edna St Vincent Millay about "I shall go back again to the bleak shore..." has been going round and round in my head.

So, I've been thinking... what if I just up and moved to Port Aransas? Then, today, I found this picture... it even says "rent me."


That is a cool looking house! Now all I have to do is find a job there, win the lottery, or ... I dunno ... find a lamp with a genie in it!

I figured where to find a magic lamp? Craig's list, of course! But, (sad face) I did not find a magic lamp. BUT guess what I did find! This listing for artists wanted:

We are preparing for our first annual fall festival here on Padre Island, and are looking for local art vendors to come join the fun!!!!! If you are interested in showcasing your art or talent please email back or call, 361-949-8041 X150 and ask for Jojo.. Interesting!! Padre Island can't be that far away!

And then there's this one in Corpus Christi: New business offering artist the chance to advertise and sale their work in a business facility. Feel free to call (688 0444) or stop by New Beginnings Wellness Spa

Maybe I wouldn't have to get a stupid job. Maybe I could sell my art! Like, for example... this painting:

Or this one:

And what about my family? How could I leave them? But never fear! I even found a job for my daughter: Barkaritaville Pet Resort is now accepting applications for Experienced Groomers. If you are interested in applying, please e-mail resume to Autumn Vasey at, autumnvasey@gmail.com

Not only that, I also found a job for my son-in-law: our company is looking to hire full and part time cleaning people (women or men) with EXPERIENCE in all aspects of cleaning ...especially in final construction cleaning...being able to use sizzor lifts,floor polishers,window cleaning etc... must have supervision and look neat in appearence ....please contact us at either jrad@concleangroup.com or 888-514-7842 ....please leave a tel: # so that we can get back to you..asap ....ask for john.

Ok... so the jobs and the kids are taken care of, what about a social life... let me see... maybe I can find a male companion... Oh look! Here's this:

I'm still looking for the woman that's maybe a little anti-social, and possibly an outspoken misanthrope, truly "Old Fashioned", or even an intelligent shy girl who prefers not to get caught up in the trappings of the shallow, greedy masses. Seriously people in general are stupid and mostly annoying and I don't have the patience or desire to waste my time sorting through them. Despite what it may sound like I tend to give everybody a chance to fuck up atleast once. I'm only judging society in general, of course there are decent people out there.. Ok here it goes..

I'd like you to be Agnostic, Atheists annoy me almost as much as devout Christians do. Hindu, or Buddhists are ok too if you're not just pretending. Looks aren't that important either, I don't mind a bbw or a bean pole or anything in between. There's beauty to be found in every woman if you know how to look. I like to read the book before giving my critique... I want someone real to enjoy life with, someone I know right off the bat isn't gonna burn me, and that hasn't gone retarded over some completely unimportant contrived issue, societal crutch, or lame fad. An old soul. I want a woman who would be comfortable going "ex-pat" and living on a farm in South or Central America (Costa Rica :D) with me. A woman who can carry on an intelligent conversation that isn't about how "fly" or "bangin" she is but can also shut the fuck up when we're sitting on the beach watching the sunset and be comfortable just soaking in the moment. A passionate, animal loving, deeply sensitive woman.

First of all I don't care about fitting in.. I smoke cigarettes, I drink alcohol, I enjoy everything in excess. I'm a little impulsive. I like the outdoors, one because I like being isolated, and two I enjoy our Mother Earth's company. I'm an accomplished gardener. I devour astronomy. I like semi-religious psychedelic experiences, but I don't smoke pot (as much as I used to). I love to learn, a day that's gone by without learning something is a day wasted. I'm not wealthy, I don't need to be, but I do take care of my family. That doesn't mean kids I don't have any, YET... I love to cook, I'm a BBQ wizard. I spent quite a few years working in a kitchen under a French chef when I was a kid. I've been driving a truck for the last 5 years because it affords me some independance of mind and thought. What I'd really like to do is just be completely self sufficient. That's where the farm in comes in.. I'm not a fucking "metro-sexual" I pride my self on having rough hands and sore back at the end of the day. I'm not a complainer, and yes I can reconcile that after everything I've just said. I just feel what I feel. On the outside I'm 6'1", wide shoulders, blue eyes, short brown hair that's starting to pepper a little bit, and I'm not skinny, I'm not obese but I'm definitely not skinny.. 250lbs. Yes I'm working on it. I have a few tattoos and I'd like a few more..

Ok so there should be no confusion as to who I am, or what I want. I'm very real and very serious. It's Monday and the sun is back out today. My garden got some much needed rain.

Honestly I don't expect a real reply I don't think what I want exists, at least not here in Corpus where being ignorant is synonymous with cool, but if you do reply please be honest, I do have face pics. I will not send you a picture of my junk and ask for some "nsa".

P.S. Nipple piercings are a deal breaker lol.. And seriously if your favorite music is Rap and only Rap I want nothing at all to do with you. Same goes for most C&W.. Don't get me wrong I like all types of music if it's somewhat intelligent, but I find the desire to be "Ghetto", or "Right-Wing" both equally disturbing. PostingID: 1374519691

So, what do you think? Does he look like this?

This?

Or this?

And, really, does it matter? After all, looks aren't EVERYTHING!
So, now that that's all settled, all I need is a really big truck!


Well... maybe not THAT big. Something like this might do just fine! I especially like that it comes with so many helpers!


And then... I suppose... I'd be happy! Don't you think? How do you like my happy smiling face?


And if you actually read this whole entire post... WOW! Wanna go with me?

I shall go back again

I shall go back again to the bleak shore
And build a little shanty on the sand
In such a way that the extremest band
Of brittle seaweed will escape my door
But by a yard or two, and nevermore
Shall I return to take you by the hand;
I shall be gone to what I understand
And happier than I ever was before.

The love that stood a moment in your eyes,
The words that lay a moment on your tongue,
Are one with all that in a moment dies,
A little under-said and over-sung;
But I shall find the sullen rocks and skies
Unchanged from what they were when I was young.

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

My life - What's up with that?

I found this really cool free reading that uses exerpts from books to answer any question you might have. So, it being my birthday, I thought... ok... I'll see what it has to say about my life, and asked the following question: "My life, where am I at with that?" I liked the answers so much that I'm not only posting them here - I installed the widget at the bottom of the page. Check it out!

Here's the answer I got:

The first excerpt represents the past or something you must release, and is drawn from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley:

unsullied descent united with riches. A man might be respected with only one of these advantages, but without either he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabond and a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profits of the chosen few! And what was I? Of my creation and creator I was absolutely ignorant, but I knew that I possessed no money, no friends, no kind of property. I was, besides, endued with a figure hideously deformed and loathsome; I was not even of the same nature as man. I was more agile than they and could subsist upon coarser diet; I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceeded theirs. When I looked around I saw and heard of none like me. Was I, then,

The second excerpt represents the present or the deciding factor of the moment, and is drawn from An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce:

the fiery heart, without material substance, he swung through unthinkable arcs of oscillation, like a vast pendulum. Then all at once, with terrible suddenness, the light about him shot upward with the noise of a loud splash; a frightful roaring was in his ears, and all was cold and dark. The power of thought was restored; he knew that the rope had broken and he had fallen into the stream. There was no additional strangulation; the noose about his neck was already suffocating him and kept the water from his lungs. To die of hanging at the bottom of a river! -- the idea seemed to him ludicrous. He opened his eyes in the

The third excerpt represents the future or something you must embrace, and is drawn from The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath by H. P. Lovecraft:

no sound, ugly prehensile paws, and barbed tails that lashed needlessly and disquietingly. And worst of all, they never spoke or laughed, and never smiled because they had no faces at all to smile with, but only a suggestive blankness where a face ought to be. All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of night-gaunts. As the band flew lower the Peaks of Throk rose grey and towering on all sides, and one saw clearly that nothing lived on that austere and impressive granite of the endless twilight. At still lower levels the death-fires in the air gave out, and one met only the primal blackness of the void save aloft where

Games for when we are older

In honor of my birthday, I thought I'd post this list of games for when we are older.

1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

93 years old when this was filmed

Watch and learn from Kung Fu Master, Lu Zijian. He was 93 years old when this was filmed during a competition. He is still thriving at 114. He has the agility and mind of someone ¼ his age. I find this so amazing and as I watched him gracefully moving across the floor as sense of peace came over me. What he does is absolutely beautiful. To what does he credit his longevity?

Mr. Lu said, "The key to a long and healthy life is a combination of movement and stillness—cultivating life by guiding the qi, the vital energy in the body, and moving the hands and feet through practicing Chinese boxing."

Simply that means, he gets up at 7 a.m. every day, practices kung fu in the morning, meditates, paints, reads, and visits friends in the afternoon. He is as alive, alert, and as amusing as any young man. He is a vegetarian refraining from eating meat or fish. His favorite food is tomatoes. He meditates for an hour and a half starting at 2 p.m., goes to bed at 11 p.m., and lives at his grandson's home. He told others a secret: eat raw tomatoes every day.

How To Stay Young

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them.”


2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.


3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.


4. Enjoy the simple things.


5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.


6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.


7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.


8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.


9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county or to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity!


11. Be ALIVE while you are alive,and last but not least!


12. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. So! Who do you love most?? Do a quick check!! Who would want to spend their whole life with someone they didn't love??? Now THINK about that one!!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

• Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


• We all need to live life to its fullest each day.

A Beautiful Message

Here's a beautiful message about growing old.

Oh Crap!
I forgot what it was!!

Views on Aging

Yes... I do have a birthday on the horizon. And so... here George Carlins views on aging. Enjoy!

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!
And then, the greatest day of your Life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a Ceremony. . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it is a day-by-day thing - you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90’s, you start going backwards - “I Was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half, going on 200!!!

Lost In The Woods

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita.

Ok, I know this is crazy - but hey - so what! I went on a search for the Dante quote about the "dark wood" and what did I find? Thirty-Five, yes, thirty-five slightly different translations of that one famous qoute!! It was somewhat cathartic to read them all out loud... listening to my life in a nutshell over and over again... knowing that I'm actually reading great literature... So... now you can join me, we can be lost in the woods together! Number 34 is my favorite, what's yours?

1. Midway on our life's journey, I found myself
   In dark woods, the right road lost.
   (Robert Pinsky)


2. In the middle of the journey of our life
   I found myself astray in a dark wood
   where the straight road had been lost sight of.
   (Seamus Heaney)


3. Midway upon the road of our life
   I found myself within a dark wood,
   for the right way had been missed
   (???)


4. In the middle of the road of my life
   I awoke in the dark wood
   where the true way was wholly lost
   (???)


5. In the middle of my journey through life,
   a dark wood overcame me
   for I had lost my way.
   (???)


6. In the middle of our life's walk
   I found myself in a dark wood
   for the straight road was lost
   (???)


7. In the middle of the journey of our life
   I came to myself within a dark wood
   where the straight way was lost.
   (John D. Sinclair)


8. At the midpoint of the journey's life
   I found myself lost in a dark forest
   with no straight path I could see anywhere.
   (M.L. Rosenthal)


9. At midpoint of the journey of our life
   I woke to find me astray in a dark wood,
   perplexed by paths with the straight way at strife.
   (Geoffrey L. Bickersteth)


10. Midway life's journey I was made aware
    That I had strayed into a dark forest,
    And the right path appeared not anywhere.
    (Laurence Binyon)


11. Midway upon the journey of our life
    I found myself within a forest dark,
    For the straightforward pathway had been lost.
    (Henry Longfellow)


12. Midway upon the road of our life
    I found myself within a dark wood
    for the right way had been missed.
    (Charles Eliot Norton)


13. Midway through the journey of our life, I found
    myself in a dark wood, for I had strayed
    from the straight pathway to this tangled ground.
    (Palma)


14. Midway in the journey of our life
    I came to myself in a dark wood,
    for the straight way was lost.
    (Hollander)


15. Midway in our life's journey, I went astray
    from the straight road and woke to find myself
    alone in a dark wood.
    (Joan Ciardi)


16. Midway in the journey of our life
    I found myself in a dark wood,
    for the straight way was lost.
    (Charles Singleton)


17. Midway along the journey of our life
    I woke to find myself in some dark woods,
    for I had wandered off from the straight path.
    (Mark Musa)


18. Midway in the course of our life
    I found myself within a dark wood,
    where the right way was lost.
    (Rev. H.F. Tozer)


19. Midway in human life's allotted span,
    I found myself in a dark wood,
    where the straight path I sought in vain.
    (Ronald Bottrall)


20. In the midway of this our mortal life,
    I found me in a gloomy wood, astray
    Gone from the path direct
    (Henry F. Cary, Mario Praz)


21. Upon the journey of our life midway
    I came unto myself in a dark wood,
    For the straight path I had gone astray.
    (Jefferson B. Fletcher)


22. In the midst of my journey through this life of ours,
    I was in a dark forest,
    because I had lost the right road.
    (Allan Gilbert)


23. One night, when half my life behind me lay,
    I wandered from the straight lost path afar.
    Through the great dark was no releasing way
    (Wright)


24. When I had journeyed half of our life's way,
    I found myself within a shadowed forest,
    for I had lost the path that does not stray.
    (Allen Mandelbaum)


25. Halfway along the journey of our life,
    Having strayed from the right path and lost it,
    I awoke to find myself in a dark wood.
    (Harriet Rubin)


26. Halfway through the story of my life
    I came to in a gloomy wood, because
    I'd wandered off the path, away from the light
    (Ciaran Carson)


27. Halfway through our trek in life
    I found myself in this dark wood,
    miles away from the right road.
    (Steve Ellis)


28. Halfway through the journey we are living
    I found myself deep in a darkened forest,
    For I had lost all trace of the straight path.
    (James Finn Cotter)


29. Halfway along the path of this existence
    I found that I was in a gloomy wood,
    My right way being blotted by the distance.
    (Louis How)


30. Halfway along the road we have to go,
    I found myself obscured in a great forest,
    Bewildered, and I knew I had lost the way
    (Sisson, Oxford World Classics)


31. Halfway upon the road of our life,
    I came to myself amid a dark wood
    where the straight path was confused.
    (Arthur J. Butler)


32. Once, halfway through the journey of our life
    I found myself inside a shadowy wood,
    because the proper road had disappeared.
    (Sean O'Brien)


33. Half-way upon the journey of our life
    I roused to find myself within a forest
    In darkness, for the straight way had been lost.
    (Henry Johnson)


34. About halfway through the course of my pathetic life,
    I woke up and found myself in a stupor in some dark place
    (Birk and Sanders)


35. Just halfway through this journey of our life
    I reawoke to find myself inside
    a dark wood, way off course, the right road lost.
    (Tom Phillips)

Walking In The Dark

There is, therefore, a more perfect intellectual life in the angels. In them the intellect does not proceed to self-knowledge from anything exterior, but knows itself through itself.

~St. Thomas Aquinas

I found this quote today when I was adding to Way Cool Quotes. It really struck me because that's exactly what I've been mulling over recently. What I've been thinking about is how much I rely on what other people think, say, and do versus how little I rely on what I think about what I say and do. I'm constantly running to my friends, to books, to websites, etc. etc trying to figure out what to do... it's like I don't even know what I think until I know what every one else thinks.

What does it mean to know yourself through yourself? Am I afraid to trudge through those well worn pathways of gloom and defeat? Is that what I think I'll find if I explore my inner self? Do I just not see a single glimmer of light when I look inside? Am I struggling to find validation, acceptance, and love on the outer because I know that it will not or can not come from the inner? And what would it take to light that inner lamp, and give myself my own validation, acceptance, and love? How can I find that moment of nonjudgment and unconditional grace when I know all my faults and failures so intimately and hold them so close to my heart?

There is a quote from Dante's Inferno - how does it go.... something about a dark wood... (here it is) And that's where I find myself this morning, endarkened... What about you? Where do you find yourself today?

Abandon All Hope

"Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here."

~Dante Alighieri

The Journey

The Shamanic journey starts when we begin to live what we have grasped of the Great Plan.

Where do we start? Physically from where we are, however tempting it may be to wait until "the conditions are right," until we move to another place, until we get a new job, until we find more understanding, more congenial people, until... until...

The Grandfathers say, "Start now," Now is all we have, all we shall ever have. Start now."

Our journey is a resumption of the long way we have come, not a totally new start. Spiritually we start from that moment and that place where we decide to re-commit ourselves to the journey, to re-surrender our wills to the will of the Great Source, to enlist with finality in the Company of Light. Sooner or later this great moment comes to us, but it must be with finality, total commitment, we must stick with it, or it will be only another half-hearted attempt to take a few hesitant steps on one of the ways leading to the Center, and away from it. We must go forward firmly. or we may find ourselves again in the "dark wood." Each time this happens it gets harder to resume the journey, and whether we go on foot, or "over wonderful slippery water" in a Shadow Canoe, resumption of the journey is what our spirits crave.

~Evelyn Eaton

The birds' favorite songs

The birds' favorite songs
You do not hear,

For their most flamboyant music takes place
When their wings are stretched
Above the trees

And they are smoking the opium
Of pure freedom....

... I'm so sorry, but this post has been moved to my new personal blog Hey It's Me, hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com, and can be found in its entirety here: The Bird's Favorite Songs

What Mike Rowe Has To Say

Ok, so I had to go find a replacement for the "How To Pull Sheep Testicles Out With Your Teeth" video, and I stumbled across this interview with Mike Rowe:



Here's the description of the video from the download page at YouTube:

Drawing on his experiences picking up roadkill, feeding swine, and castrating a lamb with his teeth, Mike Rowe, host of Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, discusses how modern American culture belittles necessary labor.

EG is the celebration of the American entertainment industry. Since 1984, Richard Saul Wurman has created extraordinary gatherings about learning and understanding. EG is a rich extension of these ideas - a conference that explores the attitude of understanding in music, film, television, radio, technology, advertising, gaming, interactivity and the web - The Entertainment Gathering

Mike Rowe has had more jobs than you. In fact, Mike has had more jobs than anyone.

As the creator and executive producer of Discovery Channels Emmy-nominated series Dirty Jobs With Mike Rowe, Mike has spent years traveling the country, working as an apprentice on more than 200 jobs that most people would go out of their way to avoid. From coal mining to roustabouting, maggot farming to sheep castrating, Mike has worked in just about every industry and filmed the show in almost every state, celebrating the hard-working Americans who make civilized life possible for the rest of us.

On Labor Day 2008, Mike launched a Web site called mikeroweWORKS.com, where skilled labor and hard work are celebrated in the hope of calling attention to the steady decline in the trades and bolstering enrollment in trade schools and technical colleges.

In addition to Dirty Jobs and his mikeroweWORKS endeavor, Mike is the voice of Deadliest Catch and the national spokesman for Ford Trucks. He has traveled extensively for Discovery Channel, hosting Shark Week in South Africa, where he field-tested a steel-mesh shark-suit, and Egypt Week Live, where he opened and explored newly discovered tombs in the Valley of the Golden Mummies.

Wonderland!

'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat.
'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'

~Lewis Carroll

“Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.”

~William Shakespeare

Captain Eo

Here we have, for your viewing pleasure, the full version of a 1986 short film featuring Michael Jackson, called Captain Eo. Included is the song We Here To Change The World. This is part one:



And this is part two:



Michael Jackson, what an interesting person! What a unique and strange life this man lived. Whatever else you have to say about the King of Pop, the man was one hell of a singer and dancer...no one else did it better. Rest in peace Michael.

One of my favorites was Thriller, here's a link to the video at YouTube: Thriller.

More About Brains

While we're on the subject of brains, here's something silly. These images show the differences between the male and the female brain.

I don't quite know what to make of it because there is NO room in my brain for "handbags" or "shopping" both of which I hate and detest. So... either my brain is defective.. or the person who thought this up is an idiot.

The diagram of the male brain, on the other hand, was amazingly accurate.

Too much thinking can rot your brain!

I just finished reading an article by Amrito MD, over at Osho.com. Here are some of the high points:

• Recent research has now established that thinking too much can rot the brain.
• Just as hard labor leaves marks on the hands, hard thinking leaves marks on the brain....

... I am so sorry, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com, and can be found in its entirety here: Too Much Thinking Can Rot Your Brain!

My Osho Card For Today

To transform breakdowns into breakthroughs is the whole function of a master. The psychotherapist simply patches you up. That is his function. He is not there to transform you. You need a meta-psychology, the psychology of the buddhas.

It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough. It does become, but these things cannot be guaranteed. Your chaos is very ancient - for many, many lives you have been in chaos. It is thick and dense. It is almost a universe in itself. So when you enter into it with your small capacity, of course there is danger. But without facing this danger nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible.

Zen, or meditation, is the method which will help you to go through the chaos, through the dark night of the soul, balanced, disciplined, alert. The dawn is not far away, but before you can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.

~Osho

Clueless

This pretty much sums me up today!



CLUELESSNESS

There are no stupid questions
But there are ALOT of inquisitive idiots

Mongolian Felt Making

Ok, so I wanted to make up for the sheep testicle video... and article about eating testicles... and the concrete sheep with the large testicles.... so I'm uploading this educational video on felt making.

Have you ever made felt? It's not hard, all it takes is time and elbow grease... oh, and wool. I went to a felt making class once. It was a lot of fun. I made a pair of boots that were really cool. I wonder where they are...

Concrete Sheep

Somewhere in Australia there is a really large concrete Merino sheep. He does have quite a look of superiority, doesn't he?

Well, go around to his back side, and you can see why! Look at those testicles! Wow!

My friend Daniel was wondering why sheep have such large testicles, and the answer is that the rams with the largest testicles sire the most fertile ewes. Also, apparently, in some circles, people like to eat them.

Hundreds line up to try sheep testicles

Hundreds of people queued up in lines for up to an hour at the 16th annual Mountain Oyster Fry event in Nevada, to try something a little bit different.

On the menu were sheep testicles, also known as 'fried oysters', and servers at the five food booths got through approximately 60kg of the delicacies.

The tiny morsels can be fried, barbecued, stuffed, ground up and even sautéed.

Visitors had mixed reviews after tasting the sheep testicles, but Amanda Palmer, 21, from Carson City had no problem eating them.

'People think, "Oh sheep testicles, gross", but it was pretty good,' she said.

Dan Herron, 32, from Reno, wasn't a fan, even though he was spending his fourth year at the festival barbecuing the meat.

'It's disgusting. It's like peeling a big grape,' he said when describing the process of skinning and preparing the testicles.

Believe it or not, the meat is pretty versatile and has also been used in tacos and sloppy joes (a hot sandwich).

Shauna Reese, 32, from Reno, said: 'We try to get families from all over to try them, but they're all "nuh-uh". It's just another tender meat.'

(This is old news - way back in March of 07. But I'm posting it here to give a little bit of credibility to my post on pulling out sheep testicles with your teeth.)

How To Pull Sheep Testicles Out With Your Teeth

Why am I uploading this video? Only Daniel knows. I don't even know because I haven't even watched it. But... on an internet search gone bad, I did find this video... so here ya go!



Ok, so it looks like the above video isn't working - but guess what? I found another one... the title of it is different, but it's the same one I think. Here it is. If you enjoy it, I'm sorry for you!!

Learn Chinese in Five Minutes

English Phrase
- Chinese Version

That's not right
- Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?
- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP
- Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
- Dum Fuk

Small Horse
- Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
- Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table
- Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift
- Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
- Wao So Dim

I thought you were on a diet
- Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone
- No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week
- Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight
- Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
- Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
- Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great
- Fa Kin Su Pah

You can do it!
Try reading each lesson out loud.

The Donkey In The Well

I found this in my inbox today - enjoy!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

• Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
• Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
• Live simply and appreciate what you have.
• Give more. Expect less

Enough of that crap . .. . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

My Name Has Power - Check it out!

Your Name's Power is Optimism

Your name's power is that it helps you be optimistic. Your name conveys both endurance and devotion. People who meet you can't help but think you are fiery. You try to live your life in a solid, connected way.

What's Your Name's Power?

Three Quotes

I uploaded a bunch of quotes today, over at Way Cool Quotes, and these three from Caroline Myss really spoke to me. I thought I'd share them here. They really hit the spot for me today!

.

"Therefore, when you enter into anything, as a frightened being,
that contract you make with another person out of fear, has to fall apart."

~ Caroline Myss

.

"Contain your experience with the divine
so that it does not escape you but rather shapes you.
Be silent.
Silence will help you avoid engaging in the games of competition and illusion
that regularly seduce us in the outside world.
Silence also helps you avoid distraction.
It helps focus the busy mind -
the mind that always has to be doing something, thinking something,
the mind that always has to be otherwise engaged
lest it become introspective and allow the soul's voice to override its own.
The silence I am describing is a silence that you use
to contain the grace you receive when you enter the Castle of your soul.
This quality of silence allows you to engage in discernment.
You carry this silence within you, even when you are with others.
It allows you to hold your center amid the chaos of your life;
it keeps you clear so that you do not do or say things you will regret
or make decisions out of fear. "

~ Caroline Myss

.

"Do you really want to look back on your life
and see how wonderful it could have been
had you not been afraid to live it."

~ Caroline Myss

Playing the Emotions Game

I meant to upload this the other day when I was obsessing over emotions, and then I got so emotional that I forgot all about it!! So here ya go:

Ok, so maybe you don't want to actually experience your emotions. That's cool. Here's a game you can play - online - what a great way to avoid actually FEELING anything while still being able to SAY that you WORKED with a wide variety of EMOTIONS! Interested? Here's the link.

Metaphysical Poem

When do you want to go
I'm not sure I want to go there
where do you want to go
any place
I think I'd fall apart any place else...

... so sorry, but I've moved this poem to my new personal blog, Hey It's Me, hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com, you can read it in its entirety here: Metaphysical Poem

Having A Coke With You

Frank O´Hara reading his poem "Having a coke with you" in his flat in New York in 1966, shortly before his accidental death. Taken from - "USA: Poetry: Frank O'Hara" produced and directed by Richar...

This poem is about Vincent Warren, a dancer with the New York City Ballet that Frank O'Hara was in love with. It makrs the moment when O'Hara realized he was in love with him. John Ashbury had invited O'Hara along with him on a european arts jaunt (which is where the itinerary lsited in the poem comes from) and O'Hara accepted. At that very moment he realized he was in love with Vincent Warren -- and sat down and wrote this poem.

Sylvia Plath reads November Graveyard

In this poem, Sylvia talks about the cemetery in Heptonstall. She was buried there in 1963. November Graveyard The scene stands stubborn: skinflint trees Hoard last year's leaves, won't mourn...



Another cool video that no longer exists... geez... that's a bummer!!!!!

The Truth The Dead Know

A great poem read by the poet herself, Anne Sexton...



oops... looks like that video no longer exists... very disappointing!!!!

The Worst Sympathy Letter Ever Written

Dear Edith,

I just heard the sad sad news! To say I'm sorry doesn't seem to be adequate. It's the old story, ''mere words cannot express - - "

I've thot (sic) of you so often and always going to call, but I'm sure you realize how little time I have; and it's much much more difficult since Wilbur's 2nd stroke - last January.

He can't walk at all now and sits in his wheelchair on the front porch, or inside watching television. Thank God he can still do that as he has had more brain damage.

I sleep on the davenport in living room so I can help him with the urinal every two to three hours - it eliminates a wet bed, which happened at first. I became desperate around about April or May and decided I just had to have a change, so I decided to go with the Hosp. group on their yearly trip. I talked it over with Wilbur and to my surprize (sic) he was for it emphatically!

The two weeks I toured Holland, Germany and Austria with the group Wilbur stayed at Smith Nursing Home in Skokie. He sure was happy when I came to bring him home!

I'm falling asleep writing this. Call me when you feel like it. Edith, I was thinking of you most of today before I heard the news.

Hoping your sorrow won't be too difficult to bear.

Your friend,

Lucy

P.S. I'll say a prayer for you and your son, Jimmy?

More ridiculous stuff can be found at my new website: Hey It's Me

What not to say when someone is grieving.

The list of what to say or do for someone grieving is much shorter than the list of what not to say.

One of the best things to say is simply, ''I'm sorry." If you have a happy memory, share it. Most of all, listen.

"It's so important to listen and just let the person say what they need to say," said the Rev. Beth DeVan, staff chaplain for Mercy Medical Baldwin County Home Health. ''Your presence says more than anything else. And it says it better and it says it without the dangers of all those other things."

Which question or comment inflicts the most pain is hard to say, but those who've suffered significant losses have heard more than their share.

Here's a look at what not to say - and why.

1. "Are you over it yet?"

• ''It's not a cut on the arm that gets better," said Lonn Spencer, whose 21-year-old son, Charlie, died of complications of an undetected heart condition while out running a few years ago. ''I mean, every day (you) wake up your son is not there or your daughter, and so you can't get over that. You just can't."

2. ''I know how you feel."

• ''If you've suffered a loss then you may have an idea," said Rabbi Steven Silberman of Congregation Ahavas Chesed, ''but you don't know exactly how I feel."

3. ''God needed him more than you" or ''God needed another angel."

• ''In my book that's not a valid explanation because I think it's just a tragedy," Spencer said.

4. ''He's in a better place."

• ''He's not here," Spencer said. ''And he may be in a better place but he's not here that I can put my hand on him and hug him."

5. ''He's with God now."

• ''God's eternal. And my dad's spirit is eternal. So my dad's eternal spirit is going to be with God for eternity, and so if I want my dad for another few years and my mom wants to be with her husband for another few years, you know, don't say that to me," Silberman said.

6. ''Time will heal."

• ''It's not helpful to say soon after a death because it does sound like it trivializes the person's grief," DeVan said. ''When you start grieving it is so intense that you can't imagine life ever being different."

7. ''Well, you've got more children, don't you?" or ''Thank goodness you have your other child/ren."

• It treats the surviving child like a spare tire, said Sarah Snell, whose son Anthony died when he was 6 weeks old. Furthermore, parents grieving the death of one child may now be particularly fearful that their other child or children may die.

8. ''It was God's will."

• ''No one knows what God's will is but God, and it's real presumptuous," said local grief counselor Nikki MacDonald. ''It never makes the griever feel better."
  

Facing Your Grief

I found this article today, it was just what I needed, and spoke to me despite the strong Christian bias (which usually turns me off - pagan that I am). I'm posting it here so I can find it again, and possibly it will be something that speaks to you as well.

Facing Your Grief
By: Max Lucado

“David sang this lament over Saul and his son Jonathan, and gave orders that everyone in Judah learn it by heart.” (II Samuel 1:17-18 MSG).

David called the nation to mourning. He rendered weeping a public policy. He refused to gloss over or soft-pedal death. He faced it, fought it, challenged it. But he didn’t deny it. As his son Solomon explained, “There is…a time to mourn” (Eccles. 3:1, 4 NIV).

Give yourself some. Face your grief with tears, time, and – one more – face your grief with truth. Paul urged the Thessalonians to grieve, but he didn’t want the Christians to “carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word.” (I Thessalonians 4:13 MSG).

God has the last word on death. And, if you listen, he will tell you the truth about your loved ones. They’ve been dismissed from the hospital called Earth. You and I still roam the halls, smell the medicines, and eat green beans and Jell-O off plastic trays. They, meanwhile, enjoy picnics, inhale springtime, and run through knee-high flowers. You miss them like crazy, but can you deny the truth? They have no pain, doubt, or struggle. They really are happier in heaven.

And won’t you see them soon? Life blisters by at much speed. “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath” (Psalms 39:5 NIV).

When you drop your kids off at school, do you weep as though you’ll never see them again? When you drop your spouse at the store and park the car, do you bid a final forever farewell? No. When you say, “I’ll see you soon,” you mean it. When you stand in the cemetery and stare down at the soft, freshly turned earth and promise, “I’ll see you soon,” you speak the truth. Reunion is a splinter of an eternal moment away.

So go ahead, face your grief. Give yourself time. Permit yourself tears. God understands. He knows the sorrow of a grave. He buried his son. But he also knows the joy of resurrection. And, by his power, you will too.

From: Facing Your Giants
Max Lucado

And Osho Says...

Not entirely satisfied with the I Ching Oracle had to say about how to go to work tomorrow without hating everyone, I decided to pull a card from the Osho Zen Tarot. Here's the card that I pulled.

You have to look for guidance because you don't know your inner guide is hidden inside you. You have to find the inner guide, and that's what I call your witness. That's what I call your dharma, that's what I call your intrinsic buddha. You have to awaken that buddha and your life will shower blessings, benediction. Your life will become so radiant with good, with godliness, more than you can possibly conceive.

It is almost like light. Your room is dark, just bring light in. Even a small candle will do, and the whole darkness disappears. And once you have a candle you know where the door is. You don't have to think about it: "Where is the door?" Only blind people think about where the door is. People who have eyes and the light is there, they don't think. Have you ever thought, "Where is the door?" You simply get up and go out. You never give a single thought to where the door is. You don't start groping for the door or hitting your head against the wall. You simply see, and there is not even a flicker of thought. You simply go out.

Osho God is Dead: Now Zen is the Only Living Truth

So I asked the Oracle...

I asked the I Ching Oracle:
How can I go in to work tomorrow without hating everyone?

(present) 32. Heng - Constancy, Perserverance
Continue to the end because luck comes to the enduring who have faith in themselves.

(future) 48. Ching - The Well
Life is like a well. Poorly kept wells bring sickness. Maintain it properly and you will have satisfying water.

What does the Oracle hold for you?
http://luckyhonu.com/

Well

Well

Well

That's three holes in the ground.

Now you pretty much know everything I know about life is like a well.

I wonder, am I going to need a plumber?

Some chlorine maybe?

Algae eaters?

What?

Ok... so I really DO have emotions... sometimes.

As some of you may remember, I spent my childhood working hard to be the "little spartan boy," and now, all these years later, he does indeed serve me well. For example:

My elderly senile dog, Jesse, fell into the pond last night and drowned. It was just awful. And then we had to bury him - I couldn't just set him aside for some future time when I was in the mood, or had the energy, the time, or the money to deal with it. And I don't have a real shovel, my shovel handles were either broken or burned earlier in the year when we had a series grass fires, so my son-in-law and I dug a hole with a pitchfork and our bare hands in the dark in wet heavy clay. And all the while, I'm feeling... well... nothing. Nothing at all. Nada.

And I thought to myself, well, that was awful, and it wasn't so bad. At least he's now in a better, happier place.

Today, however, my inner spartan let me down big time. When I get to work, and my boss was pissy and aggravated that I hadn't downloaded and transcribed by hand (my printer is on the fritz) a complete how-to on brewing kombucha tea. It was so much more important (to her) than anything that might have happened to me overnight, that suddenly, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had a meltdown and had to go home... I didn't think I would be able to stop crying, and I hate crying, especially when it's me doing it, but I did, and I got the goddamn kombucha tea recipe, posted it here, and wrote it out by hand on paper - 8 pages, I hope she enjoys her fucking tea!

So, now I have the rest of the day to get over it before I have to be at work in the morning, ready, willing, and able to work my ass off for not enough money to pay my bills, along with the required bowing and scraping, and I'm pretty sure that this is NOT what I had in mind when I planned how my life on earth would be.

And then I found a series of posts on emotions saved as drafts, here on shirleytwofeathers... so... I thought, well... I'm actually FEELING my emotions, might as well post about them, huh? I even found a color wheel, and an alphabetical listing of emotions - I thought I'd go through the list and pick out the ones I'm feeling in the moment:

• Anger
• Bitterness
• Depression
• Frustration
• Grief
• Guilt
• Hate
• Inadequate
• Negativity
• Pain
• Self-pity
• Suffering
• Vulnerable
• Yearning

Whoa Nelly! Sure looks like I'm brewing up quite a stew! Aren't you glad you're not in the room with me right now? You'd probably shrivel up and die from all the negative vibes I'm emanating!! I'll be much easier to be around when I'm back to my normal self - and if you want to know what that looks like - here's a picture.

A Guide To My Emotions

In case you're wondering, here's a guide to my emotions. It comes complete with pictures, captions, and a kitty!

Emotions - More Than You Ever Wanted To Know

Now that we're on the subject of emotions, I might as well upload this:

Human emotions have deep evolutionary roots, a fact that may explain their complexity. What is an emotion? More than 90 definitions have been offered over the past century, and there are almost as many theories of emotion—not to mention a complex array of overlapping words in our languages to describe them. Robert Plutchik offers an integrative theory based on evolutionary principles. Emotions are adaptive—in fact, they have a complexity born of a long evolutionary history—and although we conceive of emotions as feeling states, Plutchik says the feeling state is part of a process involving both cognition and behavior and containing several feedback loops.

This three-dimensional model describes the relations among emotion concepts, which are analogous to the colors on a color wheel. The cone’s vertical dimension representsintensity, and the circle represents degrees of similarity among the emotions. The eight sectors are designed to indicate that there are eight primary emotion dimensions defined by the theory arranged as four pairs of opposites.

Generally, humans seek to re-establish an equilibrium state in their inner emotional life. In human experience it is common to use the term “emotion” to describe the feeling state, but in fact emotion is considerably more complex.

Robert Plutchik, author of "The Nature of Emotions" created a wheel of emotions in 1980 which consisted of 8 basic emotions and 8 advanced emotions each composed of 2 basic ones, here's what that looks like:

Basic Emotion -- Basic Opposite

• Joy -- Sadness
• Acceptance -- Disgust
• Fear -- Anger
• Surprise -- Anticipation
• Sadness -- Joy
• Disgust -- Acceptance
• Anger -- Fear
• Anticipation -- Surprise

The article goes on and on... drones actually... and I found it really intriguing that there can be so much intellectualizing and labeling and categorizing something which I think defies the intellect, resents being labeled, cannot be contained, and must be allowed to the freedom to just BE.

That being said, here we have the last of it, which I uploaded as a separate post because a small portion of it is actually interesting to me: General Principles for Working With Emotions

General principles for Working With Emotions

1. Recognizing emotions is the basis of self-knowledge and interaction.
2. Emotions are connected with your own memories and observations, bringing them into your mind when needed.
3. It is possible to experience deep joy only after you have recognized and lived through the negative emotions stored in your subconscious and your body.
4. The possible emotional locks will open in their own time without breaking the ego only in a mutually respectful, safe and loving atmosphere.
5. Repressed emotions may break out as symptoms in the body, crying, gestures, expressions, dreams or exaggerations in the emotional life.
6. An emotion that has not been dealt with will come up to the conscious level when a person is ready to cope with it.
7. Working with emotions may be more exhausting than mental or physical struggle.
8. While the breathing is becoming freer it will also create a freer expression of emotions – and vice versa.
9. Emotions can lead you astray or hide behind each other.
10. Inner healing is possible.
11. Our own beliefs, attitudes and verbalizing of our thoughts crucially affect our emotional lives.
12. Faith is not dependent on emotions.

Emotions - A to Z

No aspect of our mental life is more important to the quality and meaning of our existence than emotions. They are what make life worth living, or sometimes ending.

What about you? Which emotions are you currently experiencing? Which emotions do you wish you could experience more often? Not sure what you're feeling in this moment? Here's a list to help you figure it out:

1. Acceptance,
2. Agitation,
3. Alarm,
4. Amusement,
5. Anger,
6. Annoyance,
7. Anticipation,
8. Apprehension,
9. Apathy,
10. Arrogance,
11. Anxious
12. Bitterness,
13. Boredom
14. Calmness,
15. Cautiousness,
16. Comfort,
17. Contentment,
18. Confidence,
19. Courage
20. Depression,
21. Determination,
22. Disappointment,
23. Discontentment,
24. Disgust,
25. Desire,
26. Delight
27. Euphoria,
28. Embarrassment,
29. Envy,
30. Ecstasy
31. Fear,
32. Friendly,
33. Frustration
34. Glad,
35. Gratitude,
36. Grief,
37. Guilt
38. Hate,
39. Happiness,
40. Homesick,
41. Hope,
42. Horror,
43. Humility
44. Impatient,
45. Inadequate,
46. Irritability
47. Joy,
48. Jealous
49. Kindness
50. Loneliness,
51. Love,
52. Lust
53. Melancholy
54. Nervous,
55. Negativity
56. Pain,
57. Paranoia,
58. Patience,
59. Peace,
60. Phobia,
61. Pity,
62. Pride
63. Rage,
64. Regret,
65. Remorse,
66. Resentment
67. Sad,
68. Self-pity,
69. Shame,
70. Shy,
71. Sorrow,
72. Shock,
73. Suffering,
74. Surprise,
75. Suspense
76. Thrill,
77. Torment
78. Unhappiness
79. Vulnerable
80. Worry
81. Yearning

Why Kombucha Tea?

So, a friend of mine asked me to find a recipe for brewing kombucha tea, which I did. You can find a definitive how-to here. She bought me a bottle, which was pretty pricey, and I thought it tasted alot like sour, carbonated, rotten vinegar - and that was the "strawberry serenity" flavor, so before you get all crazy and start brewing it, it might be a good idea to try some. My friend says it gives her a lift, a sense of euphoria and makes her slightly giddy. I did not have that experience. An ice cold beer on a hot day is more my speed.

However, if you're curious, here is some information found:

You may have heard you should drink fewer soft drinks and ingest more tea. While investigating teas, you’ve probably heard of the many claims of incredible health benefits of kombucha tea. However, there is a great deal of controversy over this unusual tea, ranging from testimony that the tea prevents cancer and helps with AIDS symptoms to accusations that the tea has caused allergic reactions and even death.

What is Kombucha Tea?
Kombucha drinks are different than traditional teas. Kombucha is a cake-like colony of bacteria and yeast, often referred to as a mushroom. It is prepared by adding sugar, water and tea (usually green or black tea) to create a sweet (yet sour) fermented beverage that resembles both wine and tea simultaneously. Sometimes kombucha is powdered and added to green or black tea in tea bags and steeped like traditional tea.

Kombucha Health Benefits
Kombucha advocates claim the tea can produce such health benefits as extending your life span, improving digestion, detoxifying the body, thickening the hair and dissolving gall stones. It is taken for a large range of reasons – to calm the nervous system, to ward off colds and to deal with chronic headaches.

Most people who drink any sort of kombucha drink report feeling slightly intoxicated, calm and euphoric. However, when scientists put kombucha to the test, they found little to support many of the health claims associated with the tea. The most obvious health benefits can be attributed to the presence of a significant amount of B vitamins, amino acids and to the fact that the fermented beverage does indeed work much like a glass of wine to calm the nervous system and promote a general sense of well being. The teas used to prepare these drinks provide significant amounts of antioxidants, which can prevent cancer.

Kombucha Health Risks
Many people have reported allergic reactions to Kombucha, including nausea and hives. The fermentation process of Kombucha also creates a type of vinegar and acid which may be responsible for leaching metals from certain drinking utensils, making it important to use drinking and fermentation vessels that will not leach lead into the beverage. It is recommended that you limit your intake of kombucha, especially when first trying the drink, to two to four ounces of fermented kombucha per day, just to make sure it agrees with you.

You can buy kombucha online from kombucha dealers, or you can ferment and brew the tea at home. Just be sure you have the proper equipment and take proper precautions. If you want to try kombucha without the hassle of home brewing, buy bottled kombucha or try a pre-made kombucha tea bag concoction.

How to Make Kombucha Tea

Kombucha tea, also known as kombucha mushroom tea, is a fermented beverage harkening back to the ancient Chinese. Doctors in China prescribed kombucha as a tonic for stomach ailments. During the Middle Ages, kombucha tea made its way through the Silk Road to Europe. It has been claimed as the "fountain of youth," and by the 16th century European nobility were turning to kombucha as a tonic for everything that troubled them.

The name kombucha mushroom tea refers to the kombucha mushroom, a bacterial cake resembling a mushroom that's used as a starter to ferment the beverage. The beverage doesn't really contain mushrooms. Although many health benefits are attributed to kombucha, the jury is still out whether or not it's good for you, won't do any harm, or is actually bad for you.

Plain kombucha has an acidic, vinegar-like flavor in addition to the original sweet tea flavor. The strength of the tea flavor can be adjusted with the amount of tea bags brewed per volume of water. It usually has a mild to moderate carbonated texture. In commercial brands, some have a sweet taste, others do not. This depends on length of brewing time, or if the manufacturer has added sugar to the final product. Kombucha also comes in different flavors. This is usually done by adding juices to the base tea after fermentation/incubation has completed.

If you'd like to try making your own kombucha tea beverage, here's how to make kombucha tea.

Things You'll Need:

• 3 quarts filtered water


• 1 cup sugar. Regular refined white sugar or organic cane sugar works fine. You can experiment with other fermentable sugars, like corn sugar. Many brewers prefer organic, if available. It is possible to use honey instead, but SCOBYs originally matured on sugar will not work well with honey, and the fermenting process may take much longer.


• 4 or 5 tea bags of organic black tea Tea. Tea bags or loose leaf teas will work. Experiment! Many teas will work: green, black, echinacea, and lemon balm.


• A kombucha "mushroom" mother, also called a SCOBY, for Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast. If you can't find or don't want to buy a SCOBY, you can make one by buying commercial kombucha and leaving it out (covered, in a warm dark place as described below) for a couple weeks.


• 1/2 cup of already made Kombucha as a starter, or vinegar if you don't have that. This is to add acidity to the brew, so it's possible that something like pure cranberry juice might also work.


• 4 quart pyrex bowl, wide-mouth glass jar, or other container. A heavy, food-grade glass jar or large glass Pyrex container is your best bet. NOTE: If you use plastic, metal, ceramic or non-food grade glass containers to make Kombucha - they may (and will most likely) leach toxins, such as lead. If you use a glass container that is too thin, it may fracture when pressure builds inside as the kombucha effervesces.

Instructions:

1. Wash your hands very well (hot water and soap, for at least 30 seconds under running water). Use of non-latex gloves is also recommended, especially if touching the culture directly.


2. Fill up your pot with 3 liters (3.1 quarts) of water and put the stove to high. Boil water for at least 5 minutes to purify water, especially if your water supply is chlorinated.


3. Add 4 or 5 tea bags. According to taste, you may remove tea immediately after brewing, or leave them in for the next two steps.


4. Turn off heat and add 1 cup sugar (for about three liters of water). Sugar will start to caramelize if water continues to boil, and you don't want that to happen.


5. Cover and let tea sit until it is room temperature, around 75ºF/24ºC will do. It will seem to take a long time to cool, but adding the cultures when it is too hot will kill them.


6. Alternatively, you can boil 3 quarters of filtered water. Add the sugar and simmer until all the sugar is dissolved. Then, remove the pot from the heat and add the tea bags. Let them steep for as long as it takes for the water to cool - approximately two hours. Remove the tea bags.


7. While it is cooling, pull out your pyrex bowl, wide-mouthed glass jar, or other container and wash it well in the sink with very hot water, rinsing thoroughly. If you don't have much extra water for cleaning and rinsing, put 2 drops of iodine into the bowl, add a bunch of water, and swirl it all around to sanitize. Rinse out bowl, cover, and keep waiting.


8. When the tea is cool, pour it into the bowl (or whatever container you are using) and add the starter tea, which should constitute about 10% of the liquid. Using about a 1/4 cup of vinegar per gallon of tea also works, it tastes just a bit different, though.


9. Gently put the SCOBY into the tea, cover the top of the container with the cloth, and secure it tightly with rubber band. If you are using a bowl, you can place a piece of plastic wrap with holes punched in the top over the bowl.


10. Now place the bowl, covered, in a warm dark place where it won't be disturbed. Be sure that insects and dirt cannot fall into the mixture or it will contaminate it. Temperature should be consistently at least 21ºC or 70ºF. 30ºC or about 86ºF is best if you can manage. Lower temperatures will make it grow slowly, but below 70ºF makes it more likely that unwanted organisms will start growing too.


11. Wait about a week. During this time, you can check on the tea periodically if you like.

Here's what to look for:

• The culture will sink or float or do something in between, it doesn't matter. You should see, at some point, a new layer of culture growing on the top. Eventually, it will likely form a film covering the whole top of the tea. It may look strange and discolored, but don't worry, it's probably not moldy. Mold that grows on kombucha looks like the mold that grows on bread - fuzz and all. If it's turning black, discard the tea and get a new cake.


• When the tea starts to get smelly like vinegar, you can taste it. The best way to pull a sample is with a straw. Don't drink directly from the straw, as backwash may contaminate the tea. Dip the straw about halfway into the tea, cover the end with your finger, pull the straw out and drink the liquid inside.


• Brewed kombucha looks fizzy and tastes sour. If you can still taste the tea, it's not done yet. If it tastes right, then you're ready for the next step.


• If not, just keep waiting and sampling every couple of days until it is ready. Don't be impatient. If you move on too soon, it will taste funny, or perhaps too sweet.


• The tea is ready when the mushroom has grown a second spongy pancake. Use that to make more tea, or give it away to friends.

When the tea is ready:

• Make a new batch of regular tea the same way you did before (steps 1 thru 7, above). Allow to cool.


• Bring the container of newly fermented tea into the kitchen, take plastic wrap or cloth off top.


• With clean hands (and non-latex gloves if you have them), gently remove mama and baby cultures and set them on a clean plate. Note that they may be stuck together. Pour a little of the kombucha on them to keep them protected.


• Using a funnel, pour your finished, newly fermented tea into storage container(s). Fill it all the way to the top. If you don't it will take forever to get fizzy. If there isn't enough, you can either get smaller containers or fill the rest with regular tea. Only do this if there is only a slight gap, though, or else you risk watering down the tea. Another option is to fill it with juice to give it flavor. Fresh pressed is best, of course, but regular works too. Only do this after it's in the container, though. You don't want to contaminate your next batch, since you will...


• Leave about 10% of old tea in the glass jar as starter tea. This keeps the pH low to prevent mold and things from growing while the tea is getting started. This insures that the fresh tea solution is acidic enough to combat any foreign molds or yeast.


• Pour the new tea in, and put the culture back in, cover, etc. You may use each layer of culture to make a new batch of tea; some recommend using the new layer of culture and discarding the old one. It is not necessary to put both layers of culture back into a single new batch; one will suffice.


• Cap your jug or bottles of finished kombucha tightly and let sit for about 2 - 5 days at room temperature to get fizzy.


• Refrigerate. Kombucha is best enjoyed cold.
  

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My Horoscope for Today

June 15, 2009 - Here's what my horoscope said

Love In Words
Virgo Daily Horoscope

The love you feel for the people you care deeply about will likely be more intense than usual today. A need to show these individuals how you feel can come over you quite suddenly, inspiring you to reach out to relatives and friends you seldom have a chance to see. Your demonstrations of affection and adoration will likely make a strong impression on your loved ones. While they may know in their hearts that you care for them, they may nonetheless be overjoyed to hear you express your feelings out loud. If you internalize their responses today, you will likely be inspired to give voice to your emotions more frequently in the future.

The people we care about have an innate understanding of our feelings because they perceive them in our actions, yet our relationships will nonetheless still benefit from our willingness to articulate our affection in our words. The bonds that exist between individuals are reinforced by loving and warmhearted speech, which serves as the glue that holds two hearts together. When we speak our tenderness out loud, we show family and friends that we are not afraid to take our union into the public realm. Outsiders will no doubt occasionally be party to these fond declarations, and that is of little consequence to us as we are proud of our association with the people we choose to call loved ones. Your demonstrative mood will help you connect with family and friends today by providing you with the impetus you need to share your deepest feelings.