Friday, August 29, 2008

Someone I Love

cinnamin sm

This is my little dog Cinnamin, it's quite possible that I love her more than I love my kids. And even if it's not a contest of who I love more - it is true that I really have no desire to be on the planet if she isn't here with me. So... last week, she got really sick. The vet said the C word, and pretty much said "no hope," and sent her home on hospice. What an excruciating thing...

At the same time, my dad is going through chemo and radiation for his own C word, and my mom is pretty much worn down to the nub. So, it looks like I might be needed here, which means I'll have to continue with life on earth even if (notice that I cannot and will not say "when") my little dog goes back to be with the Mother of All Life.

I expect that my posts here will be sporadic at best for the next few weeks. I barely have the energy or the enthusiasm for email - much less blogging - and I just wanted to let you all know what's up.

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Anonymous said...

Cinnamin is a cutems! Truly, animals are love incarnate. She needs you here on earth so that if she reincarnates, she will be able to hang out with you again!! We are wishing her much love and healing energy. Here is a link for you:

shirley said...

Thank you so much for that link. I'll be sure to explore it in depth. And thank you also for your thoughts, love, and healing energy. I am really having to do a lot of deep spiritual work in order to be able to have the faith to let her go so she can come back. She is my heart.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous here again...I understand what you're going through. Consider this: you and Cinnamin chose to walk this earth together. Bonds like that aren't broken by death. Strained somewhat, but not broken. Listen to 'secret separation' by the Fixx. =) Namaste.

Peacock And Paisley said...

I totally understand - and anonymous is right, she can come back to you in a new body, or stay right by your side spiritually. She will be active with you no matter what - I know from personal experience, and I have had a WONDERFUL cat reincarnate and come back to me. He's with me now. I just saw The Lake House, and it's giving me new hope and stuff to work with regarding all of this time, reincarnation, planning, working with Spirit, manifesting. I think our animal companions sometimes take long, drawn-out ways of leaving so that we know they don't want to go, that they're not abandoning us, but that they have leave these bodies eventually. Even in the new body, my cat is still the same spirit. At times, slightly different, because the body does affect experience and expression, but the very powerful love is awesomely there. Don't despair too badly, check out the holistic options, but also know that Cinnamin came to you in this life form for particular reasons - maybe to help you deal with grief, to understand spirit more intimately, to bring you through the dark of night and give you the joy of rebirth and the continuity of love. This bond of soul will never end unless you choose to end it, and you don't want that, so you know it's just a matter of changing physical form. She is committed to you heart, body, and soul. I keep thinking about how our spirit companions can be with us in circumstances where they are not normally welcome in physical presence in our culture. Like working in a hospital, or corporate building...... I just keep getting that type of image in regards to things you may be doing in the future where Cinnamin can be very helpful to you. She can be by your side then. While you are working. Telling you things, protecting you, giving you an advance heads-up on something that's about to happen. It doesn't fill the ache for personal physical contact with your loved one, but Cinnamin will always be with you. Love to you both.

Bob Johnson said...

Wow, so sad about Cinnamin, I feel for you, I have a cat that's been on this journey of life with me for around 17 years, she's always been there for me and I for her, it would create a big hole when she passes on.

Peacock And Paisley said...

Hey Shirley,

Check out While Walking Duncan:

He talks about his grandfather and his dog.

I read another of his posts the same night I read yours about Cinnamin, and today I found a comment-back from Curt talking about reincarnation and pointing me to the post I linked above.

Love to you both!

Two Feathers said...

Peacock and Paisley: Thank you so much - I know you are right, and there are even some moments when I'm OK with that and feeling like I can let her go - and then other times...

What I find is that when she is having a good day and looking like she's going to hold out for another month or two - those are the days that I'm at peace with letting her go.

Then on days (like today) when she is wobbly and weak - the anxiety and fear sets in once again.

I'll take a look at that post on Duncan's blog. I have also had some experiences of my own that I have not had the energy to post. Maybe I'll get them transcribed and posted here in the next couple of days.

It really touches my heart that people care - and means a lot.

Curt Rogers said...

I'm sorry to learn about Cinnamon's condition and as little as it means now, I know she will be with you always. Our animal companions have the power to heal us through their love and devotion; now is your time to focus all your energy and love on her. Do it with all your heart, without fear and by looking at each day as a single accomplishment. More than ever she needs your courage and devotion and based on what I've read, you have more than enough to give. I will send all my good butterfly thoughts in your direction and when I love Duncan I will love Cinnamon as well.

Know that our thoughts, hopes and energy are with you. Use them and they will not let you down.

Cindy H said...

Wow, what a bunch of great comments! It's so comforting to me to know there are so many people out there who "get it" and whose understanding of life and love and animals is so similar to mine! I agree with everything everyone has said and could not say any of it better!

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