Wednesday, August 13, 2008

So here it is!

I really want to post something definitive about WHY I would suddenly let go of blogs that I love, blogs with subscribers, blogs with readers, blogs with traffic, and blogs that are actually bringing in some money. Yes, the Flickr thing was a problem, but it wasn't the end of the world. So what was it really that pushed me into making such a drastic move? Didn't I, just the other day, talk about how I love my blogs, and blogging so much that it's FIRST on my list of stuff I would be willing to sacrifice and suffer for?

The only way to really explain it is to get all the Morning Meditations up to date, which is what I've been working on. And as I transcribe them, I realize that maybe the best way is to just share the journey. I invite you to follow the links and go see for yourself.


From the moment I decided to "be Aragorn" it was probably a done deal. Would Aragorn be sitting at home blogging other people's pictures until 3am? I don't think so.

And tonight when I reread that first morning meditation, "Counting Coup," I thought to myself... OK there it was... the first call to action.

Then there were the Snake Racers. I got that same page I don't know how many times. My mind was just racing and racing... this and that... bla bla bla... bla bla bla... I'd get on the internet and surf and blog and read this and post that and I'm just zinging from one thing to another... I even remember a conversation with Daniel about how I thought that all the time I spent on the internet might be interfering with my ability to concentrate and to focus... like it was giving me ADD or something.

So, when I got the "Talking is for Later" message, why wasn't that a clue? Wasn't that a clue that maybe I was spending way too much time talking about stuff and not enough time actually doing anything?

And there were numerous gentle hints like "taking care," A Mystery, and "do what's in here." Then, since I still wasn't taking any real action, it became more pointed. I was told to "pay attention," and I did. I even went so far as to read Caroline Myss which gave me one of those "light bulb moments" where you suddenly realize OH!

And my big OH! was that I have spent most of my life giving my power away. Selling my soul for the approval of others. If I'm not needed and appreciated - then I'm nothing. Nothing at all, and I might as well just throw myself in front of a truck!

I decided to stop being a coward, and reclaim my power. Well... that's easier said than done! And I really didn't have a clue how to go about actually doing it. That a commitment of some kind was going to be required became clear. I was told that life was to live in, not to live under, and the very next day I learned that I was going to be doing something big and the day after that my stuff was all lined up and ready to go, a nice old man counseled me not to give my power away, and encouraged to really think about what I was doing.

And still I was clueless. I knew something was going to have to give... especially when the idea cemetery came up. But I was cheerfully in total denial of just WHAT that something was going to be. All the while, uploading posts on the Hanged Man and suffering and sacrifice ...

For a smart person, I can be really really dense!

And as I'm writing this post, I am amazed at how my morning meditations dovetailed so perfectly with what I was building up to. So now that the kicking, screaming, and crying seems to be mostly over, I'm finding a tiny bit of peace with the idea that the structures I built will crumble to dust, and I'm ready to begin the work of letting it all go.

So, there you have it!

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Bob Johnson said...

I love the way you did the post. Shirley I guess what it comes down to is moderation, you have a lot of stuff going on, can get carried away, me for example, I can spend all night visiting sites, the blogging is just a tiny portion of my time. I have the grass that has to be cut, yet I'm surfing the net, if only I didn't have work, or if I could just cut back to 5 hours of sleep, better yet 5 hours of work,lol. I'm just behind the same boat or stage you are, difference is I only have one blog, but it is still controlling my life.

The key is finding a happy medium, and then like you said letting the rest go, let the virtual fake structures crumble before we do, give a time limit per week that we can't go over, I really don't know, but for me somethings gotta give, what did I ever do before I started blogging, I think I forget.

Your right about not being able to focus, always thinking about what to do or post next. I think you're doing the right thing scaling down, that is except for your visits to my while still in service blog.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

shirley said...

Thanks Bob so much. I have a deadline of Sunday to get it all accomplished. So... what will remain is this blog and the Gypsy Magic one which for some reason consumes me not in the least.

I will always have time for Black Holes and Astrostuff - at least for as long as it's there. I especially love that the posts come to me via email.

The Giant Penis Nebula is coming soon. Maybe as soon as tomorrow! I'll let you know when it posts.

that gypsy girl said...

Hello there! I have actually searched images of gypsies before and wound up at your flickr account, and wondered if you had a blog..tonite, the stars just aligned right and I found the magic blog and now this one! Thank you for all your wisdom in the ways of the gypsy. I have found it tremendously informative and inspiring.
Good luck to you...

Anonymous said...

I am from the Philippines, disabled, lonely most of the times and working as hard as I can because I work homebased. One of the blogs that keep me inspired and even makes me smile are your blogs. The pics that you post are really "candy for the eyes". I shall miss the blog that you will stop but I am sure there will be a better one coming up! Love and Lights to you...

Two Feathers said...

Gypsy Girl: Hi... I'm so glad you have enjoyed Gypsy Magic. I'm a little slow to post there recently, but as I said - it is one of the blogs that I do intend to continue with. Thank you for your encouragement - it is appreciated more than you know!

Two Feathers said...

Dear Anonymous - thank you so much for letting me know that my blogs lightened your day and made you smile. Your comment here today did the same for me. Maybe, when I can do it in a good and balanced way, I might pick up the blogs again, and continue with them. I don't know. The future is a mystery! And sometimes so is the present! Thanks again, you are appreciated more than you know!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for all of the posts! Your pics were so funny and interesting! I'm sad to hear that this has come to a close. Thanks for all the time you invested in it! YOU are appreciated! God bless you! :)

Liara Covert said...

This is like a breath of fresh air. I am absorbed in the detail of the tapestry you include in this post. I would be grateful if you would expand about that in your free-spirited, down-to-earth way.

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