Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Listerine Saves The Day

So, here's the thing. Jesse, my border collie - who is 12 years old and way old enough to know better - decided to take me to the limits of my patience. Maybe he has a death wish, maybe he's getting senile, I don't know. He did, however, get on my last nerve.

I left him in the bedroom for oh, I don't know... 40 minutes or so... while my other dog ate her prescription dog food. I shut him in there with his own food, and thought nothing of it. This is something we do EVERY DAY. First they go outside to potty, then they come in and eat (in separate rooms because Jesse prefers Cinnamins prescription diet, and Cinnamin prefers Jesse's not a prescription diet).

Usually, when he's done with his, he barks, and usually I let him out fairly soon. This time, however, even though he was barking, I waited a whole 15 minutes (OMG) before opening the door.

So what did he do during that 15 minutes of sheer agony? He pissed on my OTHER dog, Cinnamin's bed. But I don't discover that until like... 2am... I was getting Cinnamin settled, and really looking forward to crawling into bed myself when.. WTF?? her bed is soaked with... you guessed it! Dog piss.

So... I banned Jesse from the bedroom, consigning him to (horror of horrors) the living room. And what did I find the next morning? He had peed on the couch. Yes... the couch! The couch cushion was SOAKED!

Now, before you get all "know it all" on me and suggest to yourself that the poor dog just needed to go out ... I'd like to interject this: If he had to pee THAT BAD why not just go ON THE FLOOR! Why the other dog's bed? Why the couch?

My answer? Because he was frustrated and upset, making a statement. Pissed at Cinnamin for getting the "good" dog food, pissed at me for banning him from the bedroom. Feeling pissy - resulted in the urge to piss. That's what I think. If I'm wrong, so be it. It's happened before, and it will happen again.

Anyway, I was so mad! Of course now my couch will FOREVER smell like dog piss.... So, I threw both the dog and the couch cushion out the front door and stewed for a while. And that's when I came up with a BRILLIANT IDEA! I was looking around for something to clean the cushion with when I saw a big bottle of Listerine. I said to myself, Listerine kills the germs that can cause bad breath. Maybe it can kill the germs that can cause bad odors in couch cushions as well.

So, I poured a fair amount of Listerine over the cushion where the pee was. I figured if I poured as much Listerine as there was pee... and then some... that maybe it would at least mask the smell a little bit.

Not feeling too hopeful, I left it outside to dry and went about my day. Well... guess what! It worked. It worked really really well. The cushion actually smells nice now! Unbelievably - it even freshened up the living room.

So... now you know. If you have an incident where a person or an animal wets the bed, the couch, the rug, the carpet... the WHATEVER... mop it up, and saturate the wet spot with listerine. Allow it to dry and VOILA!

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