So what is this "Morning Meditation" stuff anyway?

It occurred to me that with so many posts tagged "Feathers and Bones," it might be a good idea to put forth a better explanation of what that is. If you have read more than a couple of them, you'll see that it appears that I talk to a lot of people and go a lot of places - either that - or I hallucinate every morning, although there is the distinct possibility that I'm just nuttier than a fruitcake...

So.... here's the thing.

I probably AM nuttier than a fruitcake, but I do have a slightly better than tenuous grasp on reality. The "Feathers and Bones" series is a meditation that I do every morning. Quite by accident, I discovered that I could put myself into a trance state and "communicate" or have "visions" or make a "psychic connection" with the people and the images in a really cool book of photographs taken back in the 1800's by Edward S Curtis. The name of the book is the North American Indian.

Am I really talking to those actual people? Or am I talking to myself? I don't know the answer to that question and what's more, I don't care. I am having so much fun with it, I am getting so much out of it, my life is expanding in so many different ways, that I don't think it matters in the least WHO it is that I'm actually meeting with every morning.

Why do I call it "Feathers and Bones?" When I made the initial decision to post my experiences, I didn't know what kind of label to put on it, and initially I was calling it "living by the book" because that was only thing that came to mind. As time passed, it occured to me that it might be a good idea to post the morning meditations on it's own separate site, which I called "Feathers and Bones."

That idea, while fine in and of itself, came at right about the time I was strongly guided to give up all the other blogs, and so "Feathers and Bones" the website is not currently available. I like the name though, and have decided to keep it as a tag for the morning meditations.

Another thing you might (or might not) notice is that I backdate the posts, and so they are really easy to miss. It's not like you can visit every day and read what I "got" that morning. And that's because, for me, getting on the internet isn't something I do every day. If I'm posting every day, it's because I have pre-written and pre-scheduled those posts.

I also don't worry too much about being "late" with these posts because I have this idea that the only person really interested is... well... me. And I already know what my meditation was, I know what I'm thinking about, and while I may not have a clue as to what I'm doing, I am the one doing it... so I figure there's no need to be in a big hurry to tell myself about it. It's possible that I could be wrong... that someone... maybe even YOU the person reading this right now... is actually interested in this little series. That would be awesome, and cool, and if that's the case, you can click on the "Feathers and Bones," label in the sidebar, or the "What is the morning meditation?" link at the bottom of the post. Either link will pull up everything I've posted and tagged with that label. The most recent ones will come up first, so that's an easy way to know if you've read them all. Not only that, but if you leave me a comment telling me that you are indeed interested, I'll be much more conscientious about getting it posted in a timely way.

And no, I'm not planning to post the images along with the meditations. At least not at this point. It just doesn't feel right to me. What I am contemplating is a slide show... and I haven't had time to pull that together yet. When I do, I'll post a link to it here.

So, there you have it. You now know something - which is more than nothing - about the "Feathers and Bones Meditation" series. Thanks for stopping by. You are appreciated more than you know.

Those Snakes Are Racing Again!

Day 63 - Living by the book.

I got maybe 5 hours of sleep last night, then woke up tired - really tired. My son-in-law came up to help me with last minute chores for tomorrow, so I was distracted with that. My schedule is totally blown, I'm feeling frazzled, and who do I get?

That boy again!! Waiting for the Return of the Snake Racers!!

I went on this long convoluted intellectual journey trying to figure out the message because he will not talk to me, and finally I gave up. And when I did, it hit me.

I am making this Sunday Ceremony thing way more complicated than it needs to be. It's totally out of control, my mind is out to lunch... well not my mind, so much as my "presence" and my "attention."

When I'm ready, I'll "come back" - in the mean time...those snakes are racing.

It is not the critic who counts

It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of deeds
could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man
who is actually in the arena;

whose face is marred
by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short
again and again;

who knows the great enthusiasms,
the great devotions,
and spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at best knows in the end
the triumph of high achievement;
and who at the worst

if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly;
so that his place shall never be
with those cold and timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat.

~Theodore Roosevelt

About the "Kiva" of the North

Yesterday, when I did my morning meditation, it seemed important to find out the meaning metaphysical meaning of North. And so... from the Sun Bear teaching about the Medicine Wheel comes this in depth explanation of the direction of North and what it means:

Spirit Keeper: Waboose
Element: Earth
Mineral: Alabaster
Plant: Sweet Grass
Animal: White Buffalo
Color: White
Season: Winter
Time of Day: Midnight
The time of life: When we are elders with the snow upon our heads and the time of life when we are newborns coming back into the world.



The North is the most paradoxical time of the Medicine Wheel. It is the time when things seem to be sleeping. Yet within this apparent dormancy some of the deepest growth is occurring. It is in the winter when seeds lie frozen within the earth that they take into themselves all of the earth's energy that allows them to grow in the seasons that follow. It is in the North that our bodies cannot move as easily as they have in the past or will in the future, that we seem forced to take into ourselves the wisdom of the Spirit we will use as we continue our journey around the wheel.

The time of Waboose is a time of slowing down, of apparent restriction, when outward activity definitely diminishes. It is a time of darkness, quiet, and dreams. It is a time when humans are fragile, when their skin is wrinkled and resembles the soil and the face of the Earth Mother herself. It is a time when people tend to reminisce and from their reminiscences share the wisdom they have gained. It is a time of assessing accomplishments and aims and of preparing for the major giveaway of death and of birth. It is a time when many people come to an understanding of their own life, an acceptance of what they have or have not achieved. It can be a time of peace, a time of power, a time of forgiveness and compassion for all around you. It is a time to give up old patterns, to surrender to the small changes of body and mind in preparation for the major changes that will come.

Waboose is a time of both ending and beginning, of life and death, of new life cloaked in apparent death. In the winter the earth appears dead, but there is much happening within. The same is true in human life. Even when we shed our human envelopes, our spirit, our energy goes to a place that prepares us for the new beginning that will come.

The major lesson of Waboose is that of the giveaway. When we are elders it is our responsibility to give away to the people all of the knowledge that we have gained. It is our responsibility to impart to our relations what we have learned as we have journeyed around the Medicine Wheel of life. It is our responsibility, ultimately, to give away our body to the Earth Mother who has fed us during all the time we have walked on her. When we are infants we readily give away all of the love we have gained in the world between, knowing then that the more we give the more we have available.

One of the gifts of Waboose is an intuitive understanding of this giveaway. Coming with this understanding are increased psychic abilities and a great acumen in attuning to dreams or visions, both your own and those of other people.

The white buffalo, the animal associated with Waboose, is an animal who gave up everything for the people: meat, hide, bones, and spirit. It is the White Buffalo Woman who gave the pipe to the people.

When you are experiencing a moon influenced by Waboose, it is a good time to contemplate your life, to contemplate the paradoxes of life. It is a good time to think about questions of life and death and to examine your attitudes toward both. It is a time to learn patience. It is a time when your psychic and mystical abilities will be far above average. It is a time to see how you feel about giving away all the many gifts that life has given to you. It is a time to practice the small giveaways that will prepare you for the larger ones.

During times of Waboose, you will need to make a point of grounding yourself, of remembering that you are a being of the earth as well as the sky. One of the paradoxes of Waboose is that while this is a time of intuition and mystical abilities, Waboose is also the direction that governs the physical level of life, both how we relate to our bodies and how we relate to the world around us. While your mind wanders through the skies, you must also learn that you need to take care of your body here on earth.

Waboose is the place of physical healing, the place we come to give thanks for healing that has occurred and to ask for healing that is needed both for ourselves and for others. This can be healing of the body or healing of the way in which we relate to the world around us. The power of Waboose is the power of spirituality grounded on earth; the power of patience that allows all things to grow in their proper way. The power of Waboose is acceptance of life, acceptance of death, and acceptance of the necessity of sharing all that has been given you.

Turkey Trivia and other Useful Facts

So, I'm on this rant about Turkeys and came up with this cool list of Turkey Trivia and other useful (or not) information. Did you know?

• The wild turkey is native to Northern Mexico and the Eastern United States.


• Turkeys lived in North America almost ten million years ago ....

... I am so sorry to do this, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com and can be found in its entirety here: Turkey Trivia and other Useful Facts

Damn it!!

Ok, so I was looking for an image for a Prosperity Project post, and ended up on this website... I'm never eating meat again! I say this... and I think it might even be true. I don't want one dime of my money to go to support the companies that do this shit!!

This really pisses me off! If I actually follow through on this, my life just got way more complicated!! Me not eating meat is one thing, but what about my dogs? I have been making my own dog food with turkey and rice. It's easy, it seems (now I'm not so sure) to be healthy for my dogs, and up until today, I felt pretty good about it. Now, I'm not so sure... How can the food we eat be even remotely good for us when this is what happens to it?


For example:

• Over 300 million turkeys are killed every year in the United States, 40 million of them specifically for Thanksgiving.
• The majority of these are raised in factory farms where they are stacked in cages in windowless sheds where they can't live naturally (or happily) in any sense of the word.
• Often they cannot move, and many die in the conditions before they are fully grown.
• They are debeaked and declawed without anesthesia, making it difficult or even impossible for them to eat.
• Those who survive are fed until they are grotesquely obese and cannot stand because their skeletons are too weak from confinement.
• Over-burdened in this way, and trapped in close quarters with too little oxygen, many turkeys die when their hearts explode from the physical stress....

... I am so sorry, but this post has been moved to my new website, Hey It's Me, hosted at shirleytwofeathers.com, and can be found in it's entirety here: Damn it!!

Inscription Rock

Day 61 - Living by the book.

Turned today to "Inscription Rock" a huge monolithic sandstone rising out of the desert where Spanish explorers had carved their names and dates way back in the 1600's along with the petroglyphs of ancient native peoples. There was even a ruined pueblo village at the top, how they got up there, I don't know.

And it was most interesting, because my mind was cluttered with thoughts about blogging, and a comment I made on a blog, and should I go back and coment again, and how to fix the comments box on a blog I'm working on, and etc etc.

It occured to me how wonderfully natural it is to want to leave "your mark" wherever you go. Wolves do it, dogs do it, bears and cats too.

I decided to see if I could communicate with the rock. And when I tuned in he was smiling contentedly in the sun. Not even noticing really the fleeting movement on and around him. I got a feeling, a deep sense of centeredness, contentment, warmth, and solid permanence - even though "this too shall pass."

And I thought that passing would be imperceptably slow, a sort of melting into the earth as wind and water wear him down.

But wait... there's more!

Can't read the fine print? Here's what the ad says:

Infectious Dandruff? Go after the germs with Listerine Antiseptic and Massage… Quick!

Those flakes and scales on coat shoulder — especially if they persist — may be symptoms of infectious dandruff and the millions of germs that go with it.

Don’t delay or experiment with untested methods. Get staffed at once with Listerine Antiseptic and massage twice-a-day and keep it up. This is the tested way that has helped so many… may help you.

Listerine treats the infection as an infection should be treated… with quick germ killing action.

Kills “Bottle Bacillus.” Listerine Antiseptic kills millions of germs associated with infectious dandruff, including the “Bottle Bacillus” (P. ovale). This is the stubborn invader that so many dermatologists call a causative agent of infectious dandruff.

Don’t expect results overnight. You must be persistent: use the treatment twice a day as long as necessary. You will be delighted to see how quickly flakes and scales begin to disappear . . . how itching is alleviated . . . how healthy your scalp feels.

Remember, in clinical tests twice-a-day use of Listerine brought marked improvement within a month to 76% of dandruff sufferers.

When You Wash Hair: To guard against infection, get in the habit of using Listerine Antiseptic every time you wash your hair. It’s a wise precaution against infectious dandruff as well as a grand treatment.

~Modern Mechanix, September 1953

And guess what!

They were right.

Most dandruff isn’t caused by dry scalp or poor hygiene but by Pityrosporum ovale, a yeast-like fungus that normally lives in harmony with the rest of the flora and fauna that inhabits our skin. Sometimes, though, the other microbes will die off, and P. ovale will take over in the same way that C. albicans will take over in cases of thrush mouth.

Listerine was at the time not just a mouthwash but an entire range of products, including a household antiseptic. Before antifungal medicines like miconazole and ketonazole were discovered, Listerine and other antiseptics such as Lysol and Dettol were the treatments of choice for any fungal or yeast infestation.

Nowadays if you have dandruff you can either use an antifungal cream or take an antifungal pill; dandruff shampoos, although popular, aren’t the treatment of choice. Often one pill is enough.

Interesting!! I've even heard that it will cure athlete's foot and also toenail fungus if you soak your feet in it. You have to do it every day for several weeks, but it's supposed to actually work. Now I know why.

Listerine Saves The Day

So, here's the thing. Jesse, my border collie - who is 12 years old and way old enough to know better - decided to take me to the limits of my patience. Maybe he has a death wish, maybe he's getting senile, I don't know. He did, however, get on my last nerve.

I left him in the bedroom for oh, I don't know... 40 minutes or so... while my other dog ate her prescription dog food. I shut him in there with his own food, and thought nothing of it. This is something we do EVERY DAY. First they go outside to potty, then they come in and eat (in separate rooms because Jesse prefers Cinnamins prescription diet, and Cinnamin prefers Jesse's not a prescription diet).

Usually, when he's done with his, he barks, and usually I let him out fairly soon. This time, however, even though he was barking, I waited a whole 15 minutes (OMG) before opening the door.

So what did he do during that 15 minutes of sheer agony? He pissed on my OTHER dog, Cinnamin's bed. But I don't discover that until like... 2am... I was getting Cinnamin settled, and really looking forward to crawling into bed myself when.. WTF?? her bed is soaked with... you guessed it! Dog piss.

So... I banned Jesse from the bedroom, consigning him to (horror of horrors) the living room. And what did I find the next morning? He had peed on the couch. Yes... the couch! The couch cushion was SOAKED!

Now, before you get all "know it all" on me and suggest to yourself that the poor dog just needed to go out ... I'd like to interject this: If he had to pee THAT BAD why not just go ON THE FLOOR! Why the other dog's bed? Why the couch?

My answer? Because he was frustrated and upset, making a statement. Pissed at Cinnamin for getting the "good" dog food, pissed at me for banning him from the bedroom. Feeling pissy - resulted in the urge to piss. That's what I think. If I'm wrong, so be it. It's happened before, and it will happen again.

Anyway, I was so mad! Of course now my couch will FOREVER smell like dog piss.... So, I threw both the dog and the couch cushion out the front door and stewed for a while. And that's when I came up with a BRILLIANT IDEA! I was looking around for something to clean the cushion with when I saw a big bottle of Listerine. I said to myself, Listerine kills the germs that can cause bad breath. Maybe it can kill the germs that can cause bad odors in couch cushions as well.

So, I poured a fair amount of Listerine over the cushion where the pee was. I figured if I poured as much Listerine as there was pee... and then some... that maybe it would at least mask the smell a little bit.

Not feeling too hopeful, I left it outside to dry and went about my day. Well... guess what! It worked. It worked really really well. The cushion actually smells nice now! Unbelievably - it even freshened up the living room.

So... now you know. If you have an incident where a person or an animal wets the bed, the couch, the rug, the carpet... the WHATEVER... mop it up, and saturate the wet spot with listerine. Allow it to dry and VOILA!

Reeds and Waterbirds

Day 60 - Living by the book.

Found myself today with a fisherman. It was a clear day, the lake like a mirror. His boat was made of reeds, not real sturdy, but functional for the moment.

We were silent for a time, very peaceful place. He pointed into the distance, and whispered, see that? I didn't see it, but I heard it, a bird. I don't know what it was, but the call it made was familiar and I'd know it if I heard it again.

He dipped his fingers in the water, "We are one with this," he said. And I thought about his boat and how fragile and makeshift it was, and it occurred to me that if he was in a well built, a built-to-last boat, a boat of wood and sail, something big and beautiful, he wouldn't be so connected, so as much a part of the water, the reeds, and the water birds. That there was something about living that close and not insulated.. something about how safety and sturdiness insulates us in a way... we set ourselves apart from the living world that surrounds us.

I also felt that the Ceremony I'm doing Sunday can indeed be makeshift and make do, and in the imperfection of it, there will be no barrier to a strong and deep connection to the earth.

NAMASTE

NAMASTE
Originally uploaded by Shirley Two Feathers

Here's something really cool! See this mandala? I made that!

And now someone is contemplating actually buying it. I just need to find the CD and look at the resolution and see if it can be printed larger than 16 x 16, upload it to Finer Works, and then... voila!

Wouldn't it be cool if I actually sold it?

And here's something interesting and dumb... I've always been kind of "ho hum" about it until now suddenly when someone else wants it, I'm seeing how beautiful it is...

Drumming

Day 59 - Living by the book.

Turned to an odd litttle square drum and sat there, in my chair, eyes closed, and listened to it drumming.

Cool

Ceremony to Activate and Release

Day 56 - Living by the book.

Today I turned again to the Shaman dude wearing the bear skin. The one that told me to feed the ducks. He blew into my third eye and I fully expected something to happen... no that's not true... I wondered if he was opening my third eye and started doubting that it was "real" because I wasn't suddenly having some mega visual experience. (Apparently talking to a long dead Native American shaman and getting "treated" doesn't count as a mega visual experience???)

Anyway, then I felt that he was zipping me open, top to bottom, and sparkles of light flew up from my body. He started dancing wildly on my right side and I knew my intellect was way too fully engaged - I was analysing and second guessing big time.

The right side of my body was fully enlivened and energized. The left side - NOT. I don't know if he said, or I just new that the left side of my body is energetically blocked.

He worked again on my third eye, and I felt it clouding over and kind of running, like it would if a person had a cold or a mild irritation in the eye.

I knew then that my third eye would not be fully open and clear until my left side was properly energized and cleared.

He worked on it some, but my intellect continued to interfere. I asked him what I could do in the "real" in the physical. He said, "The work starts here." (in the energy field), and I said, "I know that, but I'm feeling like I need to take some action in the physical." So he told me to wear something on my left wrist and showed me a "ceremony" for activating my energy and releasing that block on my left side.

It consists of painting my body - left side with white wavy lines and lightning strikes - right side with smoother, colorful rounded forms like waves and swirls, and a third eye painted in white on my forehead. Then, dance - outside - with drums, and fire, and moonlight, by the pond, dancing until something "gives."

I think it's a full moon thing.

I wanted to thank him in a real and concrete way, so I sent Reiki into the past and suddenly when it was done, I clapped my hands, and there was a spark of light, and that was that.

I want this!!

Isn't this cool? I want a room like this! I wonder how they did it.... I think it would make an awesome play room for kids... a cool rec room... maybe even one really exceedingly over the top way cool tent!! Looks like all you need is an unlimited supply of foam, a really good sewing machine, a fair amount of fabric, and an empty room...

Living Within The Earth

Day 55 - Living by the book.

Found an Apache standing at the edge of a pool of water, dense forest behind him. And I thought about how he lived within the earth rather than against or apart from it.

He squatted down and ran his fingers through the water, and they became the water. I could see that he was well grounded, that his feet were strongly rooted. He was as connected and in tune with his environment as were the rocks he was standing on, the trees behind him, and the wild life that lived in them.

"All my relations" to him means all the life abounding around him, nothing between - raw and real.

"All my relations" to me is a nebulous idea, a virtual reality, a concept and a thought. Intellectual in nature - not truly experienced at a gut level.

I thought about how DISconnected I am - my feet don't touch the ground, they touch the floor, which doesn't touch the ground.

The temperature is modified with air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter. My food comes in boxes and cans, so distant from the earth it grew in that it is almost unrecognizable, and no aspect of soil remains.

How then can I be "one" with the Earth Mother when I hold my comfort higher than our relationship?

I wouldn't last two weeks in his world, I don't think - not really. The mind is willing, the heart is there, but the body is weak with dis-use and indolence, separated by a culture and an era that speaks to our laziness and our fear.

He could live in my world - I think - and even be "corrupted" by it. Water always takes the path of least resistance, as does the wind, even earth itself, when put into motion, takes the easiest route.

So this pulls me around full circle - Is it our nature to do what is easy... what is most comfortable? Is that true?

Is it true that when I dip my hand in bath water that my hand becomes the water? Are my feet as firmly rooted in carpet and concrete as they could be in soil? Can I find an attunement and a oneness even if I am surrounded by walls, plugged into a virtual world, and eating unrecognizable food? Or do I need to step down and out - do I need to go against the flow and eliminate the "middle man."

I don't know.

I asked him what he thought, and he said, "I am sorry for you."

Snake Racing Again?

Day 54 - Living by the book.

Today, I again turned to that picture of the boy all dressed up - waiting for the return of the Snake Racers. I think this is the third time I've gotten him. And I couldn't decide if he looked pouty or sad or bored or all of the above. I couldn't get him to talk to me, and wasn't getting any intuitive guidance... not really...

He looked so unhappy that I said to him. "Look here, it's not as bad as you think? Because of this dull moment someone is looking at you and talking to you and wanting to know you more than 100 years later! This is a moment of honor!

But he was not hearing any of it, being the child that he was, and he was so NOT listening or talking to me. So I decided to just send him Reiki. So that's what I did. I sent Reiki into the past, with the intention of bringing joy into his life. When I was done, I thought how cool it would be if his picture now showed a smiling happy boy waiting in his finery for the Snake Racers to return - but that didn't happen.

Oh well...

A Glimpse of Silver

Day 53 - Living by the book.

I went to the book, hoping, wanting to find some clarity about yesterday's message. I turned to Nez Perce scouts "waiting for the signal". I've met them before.

They do not like to be bothered with small talk because they are intent and focused, waiting for "the signal."

So, I thought I'd wait and watch with them and see what happens. It was a dark night, we were up on a ridge, and off in the distance there was an awesome lightning display. I was watching the lightning when I noticed something so quick and so fleeting that I discounted it immediately.

The two scouts, however, suddenly wheeled their horses around and took off in a hurry. I said to myself, "Oh, was there a sign? I sure didn't see it. Was it that small flicker of something that I didn't actually see? So what was it? What does this mean? Anything? Everything?"

I decided to sit there on the ridge and study the horizon until I got some clarity. Pretty soon it started to rain and I got cold and wet, but I stuck it out. Determined to "get" it.

Then a huge invisible hand came down out of the sky and picked me up and put me into a cave, it wrapped me in a warm dry blanket, lit a fire, and created a nice safe place.

I sat there and stared into the fire, still looking for a "sign" a "signal" and not seeing anything at all except fire.

Then the "hand" blew the fire out and all that was left was ashes. I looked into the ashes and saw that in those ashes was a map, but I had no idea how to use it and the image was wavering and unclear.

The "hand" which had become the "wind" returned as a small funnel cloud, it swirled through the cave and swept the whole are clean. Then the hand picked me up and deposited me back on the ridge. The rain stopped, the scouts returned, and I realized that everything was moving backwards.

The lightning continued in the distance, and suddenly I saw a thin silver shaft flying up from the darkness. It was like quicksilver - that's the word that came into my mind, a "flash in the pan" and then it was gone and so were the scouts. And I was back in my room, back in the present.

I had no clue what it meant until I started writing it down and then I "got" it. I'm not sure I can verbalize it properly.... it's something like this:

The teachings are for the moment. They are like "quicksilver," a glimpse of silver shafted clarity, a momentary map. They are not written in stone, they are a signal for action and forward movement. Wait too long, look away, and they loose their immediacy and their meaning.

I Am Awesome!

Remember my "grandiose scheme?" That impossible daily routine? I have actually figured out a way to pretty much do it. How cool is that? Not only that... but I've actually been DOING it! I am so awesome!!



Here's what the routine looks like:

9am to 9:30 am - Getting Started:

• get up,
• stagger around and get the coffee going,
• let the dogs out,
• uncover the birds,
• figure out what day it is,
• drink the aforementioned coffee
• NOTE: I have a little timer that I set so that I don't end up sitting there like a zombie for an hour or so.

9:30am to 10:30am - My Meditation Practice:

• do a Hawaiian Kahuna meditation technique which consits of connecting visually and auditorily with the awesome cottonwood tree that lives just outside my window,
• open my Native American book and have a conversation with whoever happens to show up on the page,
• spend 15 minutes doing a sufi Meditation for Restoration and Repair
• grab a handful of cornmeal and go outside and make an offering to the sun and say hello to the four directions
• NOTE: I give myself an hour for this, which gives me plenty of time. I didn't want to feel like I was "on the clock." The only thing I set the timer for is the sufi meditation. Usually I get done with enough time to drink another cup of coffee before moving on to the next thing on the schedule.

10:30am to 11:30am - Taking Care of Shirley

• Yes... it's right there in writing, and I'm actually doing it! How cool is that?
• first up is 20 minutes of excercise.
• Anything that involves me moving in a more vigorous manner than what I'm used to is fair game for the 20 minutes. Dancing, yoga, Tai Chi, mowing the grass, walking the dog, it's open ended. I can do whatever I want as long as I don't stop moving for 20 minutes.
• I figure I can do just about anything for 20 minutes.
• I like the freedom of doing whatever feels good. Mowing was especially fun because I knew I could stop after just 20 minutes whether I was done or not.
• next up is 40 minutes for taking a shower, brushing my hair, a quick breakfast, stuff like that.

11:30am to 1:00pm - Household Chores and Art

• the first 30 minutes is dedicated to housework. It's not a very long time - but it's more time than I usually spend - and I figure that I can clean house for 30 minutes without having a nervous breakdown or dying of boredom.
• What gets cleaned is totally optional. If I want to spend the 30 minutes cleaning up an area for an art project - that's fine.
• Paying bills and anything else that I hate to do can be tucked into this half hour.
• The instant the timer dings, I'm done.
• Now, I've got a whole hour dedicated to doing art. Today, I'm working on a mosaic. And yes, an hour isn't very long, but it's there for me every single day, and that feels really good!

1pm to 1am - The Rest Of The Day

• Check it out! That's 12 hours!!
• Now is the time for appointments and errands.
• I can visit friends and family if I want to.
• On days that I work, I'll still have plenty of time to get ready and get there.
• Marathon blogging can still be done.
• Art - yard work - goofing off - reading - watching TV - I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT FOR TWELVE WHOLE HOURS!!
• If I want to have an organic garden - this is when I'll work on it.
• If I want to remodel my house - this is when I'll do it.
• If I want to spend hours and hours cooking everything I eat from scratch - this is when I'll do it.
• If I want to teach Reiki, do shamanic healing, build a sweat lodge, or just sit outside and enjoy the weather...
• And if I want to go to bed early - I can do that too!!

1am to 9am - Getting 8 hours of sleep

• Yes ... 8 hours of sleep, and that's I stretch the schedule to the max.
• On days that I work, I get home by midnight, so I can piddle around taking care of the dogs and still be in bed by 1am.

Is this cool or what? It's flexible enough and loose enough that I don't feel constricted by it. It gives me enough time to do pretty much whatever I want. For the first time in a long time, I'm starting to think that I'm going to actually get my shit together!

We Is Friends!

We Is Friends!

Me and You is Friends

You smile, I smile...

You hurt, I hurt...

You cry, I cry...

You jump off a bridge,

I gonna miss your emails

My snakes are thoughts?

Day 52 - Living by the book.

Today I got the Snake Dancer and Hugger. I really struggled with this one.

He said, "We do this ceremony because we have to live in harmony with snakes. They are dangerous and deadly. They have power. We harness this paower, we want their good will. So we dance with them, we mesmerise them, we hold them sacred, and thus we maintain relationship with their power."

And I wondered what this had to do with me.

He said, "You are a snake dancer and hugger. Your 'snakes' are your thoughts. Thoughts are things. They have power."

The whole meditation was very wavery and indistinct. I had to ask him to repeat, and I found it hard to keep a focus and kept forgetting what he had just said.

NOTE: After it was complete, I couldn't remember hardly any of it, and totally forgot to write it down. The next day I asked for clarity about it, and that was interesting. Now, suddenly, I remember it and it makes sense!

My Washing Machine Issues!

As some of you know, I've been without a working washer and dryer for several months. Well, a miracle has occured, and last week someone brought to my house ... you guessed it! ... a washer and a dryer.

While I was waiting for them to show up, I asked the people across the road if they wanted the old broken washer and fire hazard dryer to sell for scrap. A very delighted person showed up 5 minutes later and bingo... the old washer and dryer got moved out of the house.

You'd think I'd be happy... and I was.. all the way up until they started loading the washer into their truck. All of a sudden I was having a major panic attack! I started thinking... OMG what if I need them someday... what if the new ones don't show up... or if they break or something... then what will I do? How will I do my laundry?

LOL. It was hilarious. I couldn't believe it! Here I was thinking that I should keep two broken appliances just in case the not broken ones break some day! And how would I survive without a washer and a dryer.. It was too stupid.

Then, there was this lull between the time when the broken appliances left and the new ones showed up. I opened the refrigerator and the milk wasn't very cold. I immediately started worrying that my refrigerator was going to be the next thing to break down. I was about to comfort myself with the thought that if worse came to worse I could use the washer as a "cooler" ... but OH NO! I DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!!

More anxiety... I can't use my broken washing machine as a temporary cooler for my refrigerator (which wasn't broken)!

Then, the new appliances showed up. And that was nice. I got to do laundry and that was even nicer.

But wait... was I happy and at peace? Not me. Now I was feeling bad that my old washer and dryer were on their way to the scrap yard. Like I had somehow betrayed their trust or something!!

Is that stupid or what? No wonder it took me so long to get a new washer and dryer! And now, having researched at the Church of Google, surfing for the right image to illustrate this post, I discovered to my DISMAY that I didn't even really NEED a new washer! If only I had known about this or this!

If Only I'd Known About This!

If only I would have known about this before it was too late! Before I got a free and NOT broken washer and dryer. Before I JUMPED THE GUN and gave the broken appliances away, I could have been getting fit and getting my laundry done and doing my part for energy conservation!!

The basic idea is to use a stationary bicycle stand as the power source, and use an assembly of belts and pulleys to connect it to an old, salvaged washing machine tub. Rather than reiterate all of the details here, I will instead direct you to HD's website, which contains extensive details about how he worked out the connection. He has also hooked up an assembly that runs a permanent-magnet electric motor backwards, serving as a electrical generator, as well.

Dang, I should have gotten one of these!!

Sound Waves get your wash clean, claims Robert Bosch of Stuttgart, Germany. This seven-pound machine works on principle of auto horn. Hooter must sound for five minutes. Cost is $32.

Mahakali On The Half Shell?

So I was researching pictures for my post on Chinnamasta, and I found this wonderful little piece of shell art. It depicts the goddess Kali standing on her husband Shiva. I am continually astonished and amazed by the creativity of my fellow artists. I saw this, and I almost (key word being almost) wanted to make one of my own!

I wonder, do people really buy stuff like this? Would you? Because I don't think I would even be tempted. I might want to make one, but I'd never buy one.

Smudging

Day 51 - Living by the book.

I met Long Knife today, a cool dude with a big eagle feather thingy. He immediately started smudging me, (which felt really good by the way), and he said, "Whenever you begin something it's best to smudge first."

And I thought about my new plan for a daily routine - it felt good to think that this was a kind of "blessing" for it.

Then I had a fleeting thought, wondering if this meant I should smudge at the beginning of each day. And he said, "No, when you begin something sacred, when you begin a journey, or something big, then you smudge."

So, I did. I smudged myself, and then I smudged my house. And it was good.

A Clear Day

Day 50 - Living by the book.

Found myself at the edge of a small lake on a clear calm day. The sky, the trees, the rocks, all reflecting perfectly. The water was mirror smooth.

I thought, "The below reflects the above" and I turned to the young woman standing there, she had a balanced on her head.

She said nothing.

I thought about, "as above so below" and how the "inner reflects the outer" and how my home reflects my chaos and lack of self care.

But I already knew all of this. So I said to her, "This is nothing new. Why am I here? Is there more that I don't "see?"

And she said something about how the water is only clear when nothing is happening. That mirror smooth surface would disintegrate immediately if we were to wade into the water - or if geese would land.

And I had a momentary vision of the ripples on the water reflecting hundreds of different views of the sky. I thought of pounding surf, roaring floods, elephants, crocodiles, and turbulent water full of life...

I couldn't make sense of it.. not a clue as to what that meant. I struggled for a moment to frame it into some sort of enlightening though, a "wisdom moment"...

The girl smiled, then she splashed water at me. "Silly," she said. "Don't think so hard, it's not that complicated. Today is a clear calm day. A beautiful day. That's all. Enjoy it."

My Vardo Van!

See?
It's do-able!

A person can make, and live in a Vardo Van! Cool, huh? I'm almost convinced that I could do something like this all by myself. Now, all I have to find is an old van... and Voila!

Visiting the Shaman

Day 49 - Living by the book.

Today I met with the a Shaman, the same one who advised me to "feed the ducks." He smiled at me with his eyes, tousled my hair, and said, "Lay down and close your eyes." So I relaxed back into the chair and closed my eyes.

Immediately, he went to work sewing me up inside some kind of a skin - buffalo maybe - and when I was completely sewed up in it, he tossed me into the pond where I sank to the bottom.

And I was thinking, "Oh great, he's going to drown me!" But then I thought, "OK, well maybe this means I'm drowning myself or something - sinking maybe." Anyway, no water seeped into the skin and it was like a cocoon at the bottom of the pond. Bubbles began to rise from my mouth and they filled the inside of the "cocoon" and floated up to the top of the water.

The bubbles were not really "bubbles" the way I know them when I'm not in a trance state. In the dream, they were round disc shapes with symbols on them in black and white. The one that seemed always to be first was a white circle with a black center and a white cross inside. There were lots of these symbols floating up, and each one was different.

At this point, the little shaman guy fished me out of the water, pulling me out by my feet and hung me upside down to let the water drain off, and the disks - the bubbles - the symbols - (I'm not sure what to call them) spilled out onto the ground.

He then pulled the skin apart and sat me down on a wooden high backed chair. He draped the symbols, (which seemed to be attached together like a necklace of sorts), all around me. The one with the cross in it adhered to my forehead, the rest were here and there, not in any "significant" place on my body, they just fell around me at random.

He wrapped a dry buffalo skin around me, and then handed me a stick that sort of drooped. So, I was sitting there in a chair, wet and bedraggled, with strange symbols draped around me, wrapped in a buffalo skin holding what looked like a pretty pathetic excuse for a power stick. Nothing about it at all... really, a sorry little portrait. My feet didn't even reach the ground.

He stood back and said something like... "Does the robe bring you comfort?"
I said, "Yes."
And he said, "So why don't you wrap your own self in comfort?"

He held his hand out, and I handed him my sorry excuse for a power stick. He threw it into the fire. Then I handed him the robe. It too went into the fire, followed by the necklace of symbols. I then realized that even more was asked for, so I took off my body as well. It went into the fire. I was reduced now to just a pale wavering flame.

He said, "It doesn't have to be this way."

He pulled my body out of the fire and I put it back on. The pale flame that was my "spirit" flared and expanded. He said, "This is your body, take care of it."

He pulled the discs out of the fire and tossed them over my head, and like a necklace, they settled around me. Once again, that same one with the cross on it ended up on my forehead. He said. "You have a lot of knowledge. Don't just wear it, assimilate it." And he put his hand on one of the symbols resting on my arm and it dissolved into my skin. He put his hand on the one on my forehead and it also dissolved and was absorbed into the skin.

He pulled the robe out of the fire and wrapped it around my shoulders. I noticed that it had changed from a buffalo skin to a cougar skin.

He said, "Comfort. Take it where it's offered."

I wondered if he would pull the power stick out of the fire too, but he didn't. He said, "Do this other and the power will come of its own accord."

The little flame that had already expanded into my body, now flared out and there were flames all over me. I was on fire, but not burning or uncomfortable. I went outside and stood there looking at him, wondering if I would remember all of this, and I said, "Tell me again."

He said,

• Be kind to your body and take care of it.
• Use what you know, don't just know it.
• Take comfort where it's offered.
• Power comes of its own accord.
  
  

Getting Ready For Winter

Day 48 - Living by the book.

This morning found me on a beach with two girls and a partially butchered whale. My first thought was that this was a confirmation that I have tapped into something big, really big.

The girls were shy, and wanting to get busy with the whale. It occurred to me that there was a time element here. What wasn't used, stored, or preserved fairly quickly would soon be rotten and fit only for gulls and crabs.

I wondered if that meant that rather than try to act immediately on all my newest "food for thought" and that I should organize and archive so that I can digest it slowly.

I asked the girls, "Are you going to eat the whole thing today?" They giggled, thinking how silly that was, and said, "Oh no, this will carry us through the winter."

Winter - the dry season - it always comes. To expect that it won't, that I'll be in the land of "plenty" and "spiritual bounty" all the time is unrealistic. Isn't it?

So, I'm storing up for the winter to come. Laying in my supplies, getting prepared for the "dry" time that will come.

Arms of The Beloved

Let me stand in the Soul of the World
Let me feel all the radiant colors of Life
Let me merge with the Spirit of the Beloved
Let me hold your gaze and journey skyward

Let me immerse in Ever-after with you – Here, Now
Hold your arms out, catch the soft snow
Kisses from the sky, winter flowers from Heaven
Dance with me, let your spirit flow

I look into your eyes and find your Soul
A realm of everlasting romance, a universe of secrets
What can I say, how can I describe such beauty?
With so much life, wonder, and majesty?

What words, what language can possibly describe you?
Hold your hand over your heart, listen to the hidden music
Gentle, healing, soothing, like sweet ocean waves and violins
Do you see me whirling and dancing within?

My dear Beloved, let us bloom in this astounding place
Expand with the galaxy, unveil new Truths
Sit by me on the hilltop, here is my art
Belonging to you, flowing straight from my heart

Hold my words close, embrace them with your Love
Let them dance in your heart, let them become a mirror
And show you your blessed Lover, who walks endlessly with you
Let this Luminous Love shine like the Divine Light from above

I would pray you a good night, my mystic beauty
I would wish you the sweetest of dreams, my brilliant flower from the east
I would recite a prayer for angels to comfort you tonight
I would wish you all these things only if separation were reality

Our Love is the portal to Union
Come Here, in our Field, let us embrace the eternal moment together
Let us meet in sweet dreams, let's live those wonders
Let's rejoice in the presence of Angels
In the eternity of awakened Life

Forever, you and me,
And Allah almighty
Never alone

I Love You Habibty


~JehanZeb~

Meditation for Repair and Restoration

Today at work, I found this really great meditation in The Sufi Book of Life by Neil Douglas-Klotz. I'm going to commit to it as a 40 day practice.

Here's what he says about it:

Perhaps something in your life, inner or outer, needs repair or restoration. Life is calling you now to take action and take yourself in hand. Instead of being afraid that you can't do it, allow yourself to feel the One Being acting through you. This pathway of the heart asks for concentrated, creative energy.

The Meditation:

Center again in the heart. Breathe the sound Ya JaBaar rhythmically, bending slightly forward as you breathe out, and back as you breathe in. Allow the sound to rock you into action, like the feeling of riding a camel in the caravan of life. Allow the sound to spread first to the periphery, and feel healthy boundaries restored. Then gently invite all voices of your inner self to gather, and allow the arms of the Beloved to enfold you in healing.

Get Clean

Day 47 - Living by the book.

Today, I turned to the Ritual Bathing image again. The woman shaman who was bathing, turned to me and very clearly said. "First - clean the body, clean the mind."

And I was thinking first before what? anything? the big things? something dangerous? or important? Or does this simply refer to today?

NOTE: In retrospect, I realize that this may have been referring my new understandings of energy and power that I got the day I got serious and read Caroline Myss. She might even have been referring to my "grandiose scheme."

My Grandiose Scheme

OK, so the other day, I took an online mental health test. Not one of those silly quizzes that I like to post here, no, this test took itself much more seriously. It's a Mental Health Screening Test based on the diagnostic manual used by therapists and recommends whether someone might benefit by consulting with a mental health professional.

My results were "actually quite good, however there might be a slight tendency towards obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and bi-polar disorder."

So... while I'm really NOT crazy, what I do tend toward is disorder? I'd say that's true...

At any rate, one of the questions went something like this, "For at least the past week, have you have been feeling incredibly important—almost like a god?" The question stuck in my mind... I might have even been obsessing over it... (smile)... then, this morning, I started working on my list of things I'd like to incorporate into my daily routine.

The "almost like a God" phrase popped immediately into my mind. It's a grandiose scheme if I ever saw one. Since I'm "so important" I'm sure you'll want to see it, so here it is, the list of things I'd like to do every day:

1. Wake up rested and alert.
2. Drink a nice big cup of something really delicious, nutritious, not fattening, and warm.
3. Go outside with my dogs and make an offering to the sun, get grounded and connected to the earth, say hello to the four directions, and basically feel good about being alive.
4. Take care of the animals - food, water, etc.
5. Meditate.
6. Spend an appropriate amount of time exercising, working out, and practicing for my martial arts class (and no I haven't signed up for it yet).
7. By now, I'm needing a shower.
8. Then I figure it'd be a good idea to eat a really delicious, nutritious, healthy, not fattening meal consisting of organic food that I have grown myself in my organic garden (more on that later).
9. After which, it also seems like a good idea to spend an appropriate amount of time cleaning up the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom, the house, etc.
10. During which time, I can be on the phone talking to family and friends, being loving and supportive - thoughtful even.
11. Having gotten that accomplished, I should be feeling pretty good about my self and my life, so that seems like a good time to work on any number of the various art projects banging around in my head, and hanging around in my house.
12. Periodically, I would invite my children and grandchildren to come over and do art with me, or whatever else we think might be fun to do - being as how we're such a happy close-knit family and all.
13. For lunch, I'll munch on some yummy, healthy, not fattening, organically grown, made by me soup, sandwiches and snacks.
14. When I'm done snacking and arting, it'll be time to clean up that mess and head on out to the garden, gather a few vegetables, do some weeding, some planting, etc.
15. Also, home maintenance projects, fence building and fixing, mowing, decluttering, shopping, and whatever else needs to be done around here.
16. And, I suppose that if I'm going to be employed, I'll need to allot some time for running off to work...
17. Plus, if it's the new moon, the full moon, the solstice, the equinox, or just whatever... I'll spend a fair amount of quality time doing magic and medicine wheels, sweats (in the sweat lodge I'm theoretically going to build) and etc.
18. And, if I want to have friends, now would be a good time to either invite them over, or head out and visit with them.
19. That being accomplished, by now, I'm maybe a little bit tired. So, I figure I'll take a nice shower, get dinner started, and turn on the computer.
20. Dinner, will of course be... delicious, healthy, organic, not fattening, and totally made by me. I really do actually know how to cook. Believe it or not.
21. After dinner I figure I can sit down and do a little blogging... you know... get all the posts written for Gypsy Magic, Mandala Madness, The Prosperity Project, Way Cool Pictures, More Cool Pictures, Way Cool Quotes, Shirleytwofeathers, and the other little blogs that I've been neglecting recently.
22. Having accomplished that, I could spend some time promoting my art at Green Dolphin Studio, tweaking and adding to my Cafe Press Store, getting The Gospel Missionary project moving again, and tweaking my affiliate links at Amazon, Dragon Rising, and Llewellyn.
23. No doubt I'll get inspired and start a few new Internet projects here and there, (an eBay store, book sales at half.com, dog training website, dial a shaman, animal communication, Reiki, and yes, there's more) and of course, since I'm so organized, I'll be able to keep up with them as well.
24. Oh, and since I'm so "all that" I figure, I'll be staying on top of my bills keeping them paid on time and in full.
25. Then, just a quick look at my feedburner stats, my AdSense account, shareapic, zimbio, blogcatalog, technorati, and etc ad infinitum before I open and answer all my mail (virtual and otherwise).
26. Now, it's time to start winding down for the day by reading a couple of books, applying lotions, creams, and yummy smell good stuff to my body, making sure the plants, animals and other dependents are all walked, watered, and fine, straightening up any last minute messes in the house, and watching my favorite TV shows.
27. Last, but not least, sliding into bed plenty early so that I won't be exhausted and tired in the morning, and as I fall gently into a peaceful sleep, spending that quality time meditating and visualizing the wonderful magical things that I want to manifest in my life.
28. And then, of course, I'll have really cool dreams and visions, and sleep really well.

But wait... there's more!!

No, I'm just kidding... at least I hope I'm kidding. Am I kidding? Sure I am.... I think...

On the Rock

Day 46 - Living by the book.

Found myself Sitting on the Rock again. Relaxed and waiting. Relaxed and watching. Relaxed and protectively guarding - being on the look out.

It came to me that:

To be vigilant, to do what is yours to do doesn't require that you be tense or stressed. It can be done from a spirit of relaxation.

Are you still cool?

This test is based on how cool you were in school, what crowd you hung about with, etc., but it's still quite accurate by today's standards. You may want to send it to your friends too, to see if they've changed as they've become older.

LET'S SEE, ARE YOU STILL A COOL PERSON?

Click on the link below to find out.

Am I cool?

Learning Symbolic Sight

What is symbolic sight? It's the ability to use your intuition to interpret the power symbols in your life.

When a person seeks to see more, healing is inevitable. But you need an internal method of absorbing this information to make it real for you.

1. Focus your attention on learning to interpret your life's challenges symbolically. Find a meaning in them. Think and feel how they connect to your health. Bring attention every day to the challenges you face and to how your mind and spirit respond to them. Observe what causes you to lose power, and where you feel the loss. Evaluate the spiritual and biological activity that occurs as a consequence.
   
   
2. Think of yourself at all times as an energy being as well as a physical one. The energy part of yourself is the transmitter and recorder of all your thoughts and interactions. Keep in mind at all times that your biography becomes your biology. Develop the habit of evaluating the people, experiences, and information you allow into your life. Consciously and regularly evaluate your interactions and their influence on your emotional and physical power.
   
   
3. Conduct energy self-evaluations on a daily basis. Reflect on each power center (or chakra) for a minute or two in a quiet, objective way. Don't wait to become ill before you attend to the health of your energy system. Learn to sense the stress accumulating in your energy field, and take the steps to heal yourself at the energy level. Make self-evaluation a habit.
   
   
4. When you discover an energy leak, focus on only the essentials that can help you recover your energy. Always address the question "Why am I losing power?" In healing any imbalance, whether it is energetic or physical, you must always involve both your mind and your heart. Always strive to see beyond the physical components of a crisis. Refer to the seven sacred truths of energy - one or more of those truths will be involved in your stressful situation.
   
   
5. Learn what rather than who draws power from you. Understand that the person who seems to be drawing your energy is actually only a reflection of some part of yourself. When you erroneously conclude that a specific person is the cause of your feeling depleted, you are slipping into fear and blame. You need to refocus on your power center until you get an impression of what kind of power that person has in relation to you. Once you set your sights on the lesson rather than the teacher, you have achieved a significant benefit of symbolic sight: you see that truth being delivered to you through the challenge.
   
   
6. Simplify your requirements for healing. The requirements to heal any illness are essentially the same. Think of the illness as a power disorder - almost like a technical malfunction. Once you identify which sacred truth applies to your situation, organize your internal healing process around learning from that truth. Combine your internal healing with any conventional medical treatment that is essential, and stick to your program. reach out for any support that you require, and use that support appropriately. Remember that the task is to move through your wounds, not to live in them.
   
   
7. Do all that is necessary to support your physical body, such as taking the appropriate medicine, maintaining a daily exercise program, and eating properly. Simultaneously, do all that is necessary to support your energy body, such as releasing unfinished business and forgiving injuries from the past. Make whatever personal changes are necessary for healing to take place. The specific changes you make are not the important point here. The point is to actually make the changes that healing requires.
   
   
8. Talking does not heal; taking action does. While it is essential to work at maintaining a positive attitude whatever your illness, healing requires dedication and commitment. Visualization will not work if you practice it only once a week, and no one's body becomes fit from only one trip to the gym. Healing one's body or one's life challenges - or developing symbolic sight - requires daily practice and attention. Healing illness in particular may be a full-time occupation, although you can simplify the steps required to accomplish the task.
   
   
9. Simplify your spirituality. In all likelihood we have made our lives far more complex than they have to be. Achieving health, happiness, and an energy balance comes down to deciding to focus more on the positive than on the negative and to live in a manner spiritually congruent with what we know is the truth. Making those two commitments alone is sufficient to allow the power contained within our Divine biological system to influence the content and direction of our lives.

from: Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss

Points to Live By

From Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss, come these points to live by:

• All circumstances can be changed in a moment, and all illness can be healed. The Divine is not limited by human time, space, or physical concerns.
  


• Be consistent: live what you believe.
  


• Change is constant. Every life goes through phases of difficult change as well as peace. Learn to go with the flow of change rather than try to stop change from occuring.
  


• Never look to another person to make you happy - happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility.
  


• Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.
  


• Positive energy works more effecively than negative energy in each and every situation.
  


• Live in the present moment, and practice forgiveness of others.

Redirecting power

Once we make conscious our emotional needs, it's impossible to forget them. Once we become aware of the source of our unhappiness we cannot expunge that awareness. We have to make choices. The ability to choose is an active power - and the sensation of having active power is both thrilling and threatening, because it makes us want to change those parts of our lives that are no longer appropriate. And changing those parts inspires us to challenge other aspects of our lives that are not satisfactory.

Changing our lives is often difficult because of our existing loyalties. Usually we learn about loyalty within our family structure and as a connection toward our family. Loyalty to oneself, however, is an entirely different virtue, and adhering to it can cause tremendous upheaval in a family.

In truth, there are not many ways to successfully introduce your personal needs into a circumstance that was created before you realized what your personal needs were.

The necessity of change makes healing a terrifying experience for many people. These individuals know, consciously or unconsciously, that unplugging their energy circuits from a power target is the same as saying good-bye to it. They enter into an unsettling limbo where they want simultaneously to unplug from their power target and to hang on to it. Some people end up trying to live in the two worlds simultaneously, not entirely inhabiting the one that no longer suits them, yet never quite moving on to the next either. Thus it is that many people journey to the well of healing but find, once they get there, that they cannot actually drink.

from: Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss

Acquisitioners

An Acquisitioner is a person who has only passive power. This kind of dependent person feels she must acquire power from her external environment and from or through someone else. She thinks, consciously or unconsciously, "Alone, I am nothing." Such a person seeks to acquire power through money; social status; political, social, military, or religious authority; and relationships with influential people. She does not directly express her own needs but becomes skilled at tolerating or manipulating unsatisfactory situations.

In the human energy system, our individual interactions with our environment can be thought of symbolically as electromagnetic circuits. These circuits run through our bodies and connect us to external objects and other people. We are drawn to power objects or people, or "power targets," so that we can draw their power into our system. Our connection with a power target, however, draws some power away from our own field and into the target.

The targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power - specifically, the power to control them. When a person is unaccustomed to making empowering choices for themselves, they get tied into a pattern of releasing their energy into the hands of others. This puts healing out of reach because the power now exists outside the boundaries of that person's physical body.

It is not the mind, but our emotional needs that control our attachment to our power targets.

Since healing is nonnegotiable, acquisitioners find healing a more formidable challenge than people who have a sense of active power. Healing is, above all, a solo task. No one can heal on behalf of another person. We can assist others, to be sure, but no one can, for instance, forgive someone on behalf of someone else. Nor can any of us cause someone to release the painful memories or experiences that he needs to release in order to heal. Because the very nature of passive poser is "power through attachments," it runs contrary to an acquisitioner's entire biology to release or detach himself from targets that are draining his energy.

from: Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss

You Alone Can Help Yourself Heal

Here we have the third principle of energy medicine from "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss. The first principle is Biography Becomes Biology and the second principle is Personal Power is Necessary for Health.

You Alone Can Help Yourself Heal

Healing is an active and internal process that includes investigating one's attitudes, memories, and beliefs with the desire to release all negative patterns that prevent one's full emotional and spiritual recovery. This internal review inevitably leads one to review one's external circumstances in an effort to recreate one's life in a way that serves activation of will - the will to see and accept truths about one's life and how one has used one's energies; and the will to begin to use energy for the creation of love, self-esteem, and health.

Healing requires taking action. It is not a passive event. We are meant to draw on our inner resources, to find the material strength to leave behind our outmoded beliefs and behaviors, and to see ourselves in new healthy ways - to take up our beds and walk.

Personal Power is Necessary for Health

This is the second principle of energy medicine from "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss. The first principle is Biography Becomes Biology and the third principle is You Alone Can Help Yourself Heal.

Personal Power is Necessary for Health.

Power is at the root of the human experience. Our attitudes and belief patterns, whether positive or negative, are all extensions of how we define, use, or do not use power. Not one of us is free from power issues. We may be trying to cope with feelings of inadequacy or powerlessness, or we may be trying to maintain control over people or situations that we believe empower us, or we may be trying to maintain a sense of security (a synonym for power) in personal relationships.

Many people who lose something that represents power to them - money, or a job, or a game - or who lose someone in whom their sense of self or power is vested - a spouse or lover, a parent or child - develop a disease. our relationship to power is at the core of our health.

Power mediates between our internal and external worlds, and as it does so, it communicates in a language of myth and symbol. Consider, for example, the most common symbol of power - money. When a person internalizes money as a symbol of power, its acquisition and control become symbolic of that person's health: when she acquires money, her biological system receives the signals that power is coming into her body. Her mind transmits the unconscious message "I have money. Therefore I am safe, I'm secure, I have power, and all is well." This positive message transmitted in the biological system generates health.

Each of us has numerous power symbols, and each such symbol has a biological counterpart. Our lives are structured around power symbols: money, authority, freedom, title, beauty, security. The people who fill our lives and the choices we make each moment are expressions and symbols of our personal power. We often hesitate to challenge a person who we believe holds more power than we do, and we frequently agree to things because we believe we haven't the power to refuse. In countless situations and relationships, the underlying dynamic at work is the negotiation of power: who has it, and how we can maintain our share of it.

Learning the symbolic language of energy means learning to evaluate the dynamics of power in yourself and others. Energy information is always truthful. Although a person may verbally agree to something in public, his energy will state how he really feels, and his real feelings will find their way into some symbolic statement. Our biological and spiritual systems always seek to express truth, and they will always find a way to do so.

You need to become conscious of what gives you power. Healing from any illness is facilitated by identifying your power symbols and your symbolic and physical relationship to those symbols, and heeding any messages your body and intuitions are sending you about them.

Biography Becomes Biology

I have been reading Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss. There are three basic principles. This is the first one the second one is Personal Power is Necessary for Health and the third one is You Alone Can Help Yourself Heal.
Biography Becomes Biology

According to energy medicine, we are all living history books. Our bodies contain our histories - every chapter, line, and verse of every event and relationship in our lives. As our lives unfold, our biological health becomes a living, breathing biographical statement that conveys our strengths, weaknesses, hopes, and fears.

Every thought you have had has traveled through your biological system and activated a physiological response. Some thoughts are like depth charges, causing a reaction throughout the body. Some thoughts are more subtle, and still others are unconscious. Many are meaningless and pass through the body like wind through a screen.

All our thoughts, regardless of their content, first enter our systems as energy. Those that carry emotional, mental, psychological, or spiritual energy produce biological responses that are then stored in our cellular memory. In this way our biographies are woven into our biological systems, gradually, slowly, every day.

Accepting the idea that every part of your life - from your physical history to your relationships to every attitude, opinion, and belief you carry inside yourself - affects your biological makeup is only part of the healing process, however. You also have to move from the mental level into the physical level, into your body, to feel the truth viscerally and cellularly and believe it wholly.

It is very easy to learn something new and apply that knowledge only casually. The idea that biography creates biology implies that we participate to some degree in the creation of illness. But - and this is a crucial point - we must not abuse this truth by blaming our selves for becoming ill. Illnesses develop as a consequence of behavioral patterns and attitudes that we do not realize are biologically toxic until they have already become so.

Energy is power, and transmitting energy into the past by dwelling on painful events drains power from your present-day body and can lead to illness. Power is essential for healing and for maintaining health. Attitudes that generate a feeling of powerlessness not only lead to low self-esteem, but also deplete the physical body of energy and weaken overall health.

Looks like it's time to recharge my batteries!

Ok... so today, when I did my "Living by the Book" meditation, I got the direct instruction to "Pay attention, this is serious." And it's been an enlightening day to say the least.

Here's what happened. I took my daughter to a Dr's appointment, and while I was waiting I flipped open "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss. She got my attention almost immediately with this statement:

Increasing and continual exhaustion that takes the edge of mental and emotional clarity is an energy symptom that indicates something is wrong in the body. Most people do not consider it a symptom because it is not actually painful. But when exhaustion continues, even when the person is getting more sleep, the body is trying to communicate that the person is "energetically ill." Responding to this message at the energy stage can often prevent the development of an illness.

Well, just yesterday, I was thinking about how low my energy levels have been. How it seems like I'm sleeping enough and yet I still don't have any real "umph" and I was wondering if maybe I'm enjoying a low grade depression. Caroline Myss had some stuff to say about that too!

Depression is another symptom that all is not well. Within the clinical world, depression is generally considered an emotional and mental disorder. But prolonged depression often precedes the development of a physical illness. In energy terms, depression literally is a release of energy - or life-force, if you will - without consciousness. If energy is like money, depression is like opening your wallet and announcing, "I don't care who takes my money or how it is spent." Prolonged depression inevitably creates chronic exhaustion. If you don't care who spends your money or how much, inevitably you will end up broke. Just so, without energy you cannot support your health.

Okay then! This really does sound serious! And I'm paying attention! Right away, I made a commitment to myself to recharge my energy batteries. The first thing that came to me was that it's time for me to start eating properly, and also to get serious about reclaiming my "power."

Face it - I'm a Coward

People must face that which they fear. Life is painful at times, and spiritually, we are meant to face the pains that life presents. In the Western world, however, we often misrepresent God's plan for us and expect life to be comfortable and free of trouble. We measure God's presence in our lives by our level of personal comfort; we believe God is here if our prayers are answered. But neither God nor Buddha nor any other spiritual leader or tradition guarantees or encourages a pain-free life. Spiritual teachings encourage us to grow past and through painful experiences, each of which is a spiritual lesson. This is what Caroline Myss says. And I do believe that to be true. I believe it totally and completely all the way up until it comes time for me to actually face one of my own fears. That's when it all breaks down. I get scared, and I freak out, and I start praying and visualizing and calling my friends. I pull out all the stops, magic - shamanism - religion - family - you name it, and I'll use it. Anything and everything that I think just might deliver me from whatever it is that I'm scared of. There's this old saying, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I'd like to think that's how I live my life. I'd like to think that I actually have the courage to move through fear in a good way. I'd like to think that I have courage. Truth be told, I'm a coward. And since I really don't want to be a coward, and since I really do want to life a fearless life, I continually pull myself out of situations that seem "safe" and (therefore) boring and yet because I am actually a coward... I don't then put myself where I might actually get "hurt"... so I play around with the illusion of danger and the illusion of safety and it's all a big sham covering up the fact that I want to life a fearless life but I'm afraid to.

Getting Serious

Day 45 - Living by the book.

I sat down today with Sitting Bear. He fixed me with a vry intense look, and I could see that in his life there had been a lot of heartache and terrible things. And I was sure that his teeth were paining him.

He said to me, "This is serious. Pay attention." At first, I wasn't sure if I was just thinking that he looked serious or what. But he said it again, so I knew that he was telling me to pay attention. I wondered what was serious, but I didn't have time to really sit with it because I had to take my daughter to a Dr appointment and I was already running late.

So, I took that to be my "message for the day" and resolved to take the experiences of the day seriously. I grabbed a book so I'd have something to read while waiting for my daughter, and headed out the door. Interestingly, the book I grabbed was "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Carolyn Myss. I had read it before, but this time, what she had to say really spoke to me. And I took it seriously. So now, I've stepped up and am making some big changes!